(Girl) Friends

[Bluelight]

Sometimes, I wish I could start over on the whole friends thing, some of them really aren't that good for me. For example, girls who like the keep me around because I'm the only "hot" guy who they have the upper hand on in terms of meeting guys. Not saying that's the only reason they keep me around, but I've noticed certain things they say/do that suggest to me that they feel that way, like whenever I find a straight guy attractive, the first thing they say is "he's straight" with a tone that says "Back off! My territory!". I want to say back "what makes you think you have much more of a chance with him?" but the thing is my friends really aren't attractive, and that would hurt them more than they could hurt me, so that wouldn't be fair. Of course, we have good times as well, but I feel like they're really clingy, and it's hard to do anything without them tagging along, which has resulted in other friends avoiding me on several occasions. I just don't really know what to do, maybe distance myself from them slowly and in the meantime find better friends who don't itemize me.

So, anyone have this problem before? Let me know your thoughts/opinions.

[Cuddly]

No

[HumbleTangerine]

Just for the record, you come off as sort of mean and shallow. "My friends really aren't attractive and that would hurt them more than they could hurt me". Not saying you really are any of those things, but that's the impression you give off.

Second of all, if you feel like your friends are clingy and you dislike it, explain it to them nicely. If they won't stop, then you decide whether to accept it after all or stop seeing them. Contrary to popular belief, we are 100% free to choose our friends

[Bluelight]

Just for the record, you come off as sort of mean and shallow. "My friends really aren't attractive and that would hurt them more than they could hurt me". Not saying you really are any of those things, but that's the impression you give off.

Second of all, if you feel like your friends are clingy and you dislike it, explain it to them nicely. If they won't stop, then you decide whether to accept it after all or stop seeing them. Contrary to popular belief, we are 100% free to choose our friends

Well, sorry if I come off as mean or shallow, but as I've explained, they haven't really been the best to me lately, so I really have no remorse pointing out things about them that they themselves have called others out on before. But now that I'm reading this over, I guess you really do have to know them to understand where I'm coming from, probably just should have figured this out on my own.

And also, I'm not labeling myself as "hot", they literally tell me that all the time. It's just kind of annoying because sometimes it's like they like having me in their friend group because they think I'm attractive, I don't know, just kind of rubs me the wrong way.

[Mark]

The thing is most times I think everybody changes friends over and over. The friends I have now are completely different from even 3 years ago - which makes me wonder if I ever make solid friendships but thats another matter. I think maybe distancing yourself would help for a bit. The situation will just bug you until you can actually see it from outside.

You may find that you were over reacting and it didn't really exist, or you may find you were completely right and should back off a lot. But space definitely sounds like the right thing to do.

[CellarDweller]

sounds like you need some new friends.

[Ryocchi]

I do understand and has happened to me before, it's even worse when said friends crush on you, talk to them, first as far as I know there's no fireproof method to tell is someone is straight or not, second explain they are hurting you, if they are really your friends it may be that they don't do this to hurt you, but maybe they think they are protecting you from crushing on someone that can't return your feelings, simply explain that you don't like when they do that, about the other thing I can't help, all my friends are so different that they don't like hanging out with eachother.