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I'm a : Bi Man in a Monogamous Straight Relationship
Starsign: 
Capricorn
Mood: None
Ok, so I'm not ready to start dating yet, but I'm interested in receiving some advice about where to look when I am ready. Now I know that someone out there is going to say to look around in social settings just like any straight person would. But I'm a bit particular (maybe peculiar too) so I thought a dating website like eharmony.com or match.com might be appropriate. I'm not looking to find one night stands; when I'm ready to date, I really want the date to have substance and not just focused on sex.
Thoughts?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Do you honestly think that a single gay man knows the secret? LOL
I've tried those 'dating only' sites - apparently they are not as advertised, or maybe just too man people abuse them.... IDK
I think its more or less the old social network one has to have to actually find a half decent person. Mind that rarely worked for me over the decades.
So I have come to the conclusion its about 90% luck.
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TBH, I basically came out as Bi/gay recently, after dating my last girl friend and came here looking for advice, started an account on Plenty of fish (POF) after I got comfortable with the situation (its also free) and was talking to a ton of guys in days went on a couple dates and found my current bf, have been happy ever since ^_^. Its a great site I highly suggest it.
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The best way to meet the local gay guys, and become a part of the community is to hit up the local gay bars. You've got to meet and make friends with some other gay guys. Online sites and apps are good for hookups and wasting time, but don't hold your breath for a relationship. The only way to meet and engage with the living, breathing gay men who are interested in real-life relationships is to go where they go - the local gay bars.
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don't go looking too hard ! you might even walk past him or her in the street and catch their eye and get a smile
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You have to start looking around you, I'm sure some of your acquaintance know other gay people (maybe one of them is your potential match).
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Well its hard to meet new guys at least for me it has been, but I will admit that adam4adam did work for me, I know its a hook up site, but I was very clear on what I was looking for which was friendship, if you don't put anything sexual on your profile you get a lot of numbers and have great responses, you weed out the bad ones and you find decent people who are also searching for a guy to start something serious with. I mean why pay for match.com and eharmonoy when its the same people from all the other sites you can use for free ( I learned that rather quickly)
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Posts: 368
Threads: 17
Joined: Apr 2014
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I'm a : Bi Man in a Monogamous Straight Relationship
Starsign: Capricorn
Mood: None
Thank you for the responses! I'll check out the free sites and the links. It was always easy for me to meet women but I guess I'm just nervous that while out and about I will meet a guy, misinterpret his signals, and end up trying to ask a straight man out. I know it will take time but this whole new world for me is exciting and scary at the same time.
There is definitely no reason for me to rush. I want to come out to my parents before I start dating...and that is something that will happen sooner rather than later (the coming out part).
Thanks again for the advice; you're all awesome!
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Aquarius
