My Angry Grouphome HatePost (getting shit out)

[Turnerdog]

Oh yeah psych wards, huh? Sounds turrible. Mental hospitals are kind of bad but that place must top the charts...

And yeah, religion can definitely be rude. And stupid.
So can people who just don't get it....atleast in time, things should get better. I can't imagine how infuriating it would be to be in a program where they try to change your sexuality. I feel bad for the people in those places, and worse for the people who feel they themselves need to be there. I feel like the world is coming along, tho, slowly but surely.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Sounds to me you need to learn how to play the system.

Yeah the system sucks. However your behaviors and actions can lead them to move you out of that particular part of the system to another part - which part depends on if you fight them (you will lose) or if you go along with the program and at the very best pretend to be 'improving'.

As for others cutting - it rarely is for attention. Self harm of any sort is usually because there is a temporary relief.

You admit to drug use - do you use drugs for attention? Or do you use because it makes you feel good for a moment?

The same thing applies to cutters - there is a bit of relief in the pain - and often a cutter is only seeking to feel something because more often than not they are not feeling the world fully with their emotions. The physical pain thus takes place of emotional pain and lends some satisfaction for the need to feel something.

That individual who is nice and nasty at the same time - most likely a very lonely person who never learned how to form healthy relationships. Its not an unwillingness to be a friend but an inability to do friendship the right way.

Seems to me you are surrounded by broken toys and most likely are a broken toy yourself.

I'm a broken toy myself - however I have 48 years behind me that has taught me how to deal with my broken aspect and how to accept it and work with it and (hopefully) keep from hurting myself even more in assorted ways that I can too readily fall to doing.

This place sounds like they are 'trying' to help you.... Yeah I know a structured environment can be hell, however a structured environment actually does help a lot of people especially broken toys to get themselves together and improve their lot in life.

The fact is your attitude is working against you. Like the whole 'School is an institution and I'm better than that' - no sweetie - It doesn't make you better if you ditch school. What makes you better is go to and realize which parts are the programing and which parts are actual education that you can use to either better yourself later in life, or to destroy your enemies.

You are taking the militant rebellious route will not pan out. Trust me on that. You already know that if you fight too much they will just take away more privileges and if that don't work they will send you someplace even nastier.

I strongly suggest you use those school hours to your advantage. Yes follow the class protocols (what they are teaching) and also do further study in what other areas you can to give you a better idea of what it is that they expect of you so you can at the very least pretend to be all fine and being all they want you to be.

You are a virtual prisoner, as as long as they hold that much control over you, I can assure you the more you fight the worse it will get.

I can also assure you that the system is both smart and stupid at the same time. Its smart in that they have ways to make you bend to their will, its stupid because they completely believe that their ways work, so a smart individuals can pretend and act like they are getting what they want, earn those extra privileges and eventually escape their claws.

Start following the program. You know what it is they want from you, start slowly doing that - show 'improvement' and eventually you will get out.

This won't last forever.

Oh and do try to learn as much as you can from this... trust me, once you get out of the system you are going to need as much of an edge out in the real world as possible.

[Turnerdog]

Oh yeah I know how to work the system, work a program, etc. It's just that my team isn't committed to me so I stopped being committed to my program. I'd ask for homepasses and it'd take them like 2 and a half weeks to get back. SoI got fed up with them. It was a process.

Drug use is a genetic thing; I like to get high, like the way the drink feels, etc.

And yeah they're trying to help me, I know, but I don't need it.

Militant, huh? Lol Rite.

N'aww, it's not like I'm better than school; it's a necessity, for everyone. I'm better than the school I go to right now, what with the restraints and all, but that's that.

And thanks, though, you're giving some good advice.

And an edge, huh? I'm gunna work on that. Thanks, dude.

[justmoi]

I'm just gonna say to the earlier posts I've cut for almost a year without telling anyone. I cut my upoer thighs and ribcage and wear clothes that hide it. I don't do it for attention, even a little. When someone found out I was very upset and made her swear not to tell. She hasn't, we haven't discussed it since, I'm still cutting.

I don't know why I d it but I very much don't want anyone in my life to know. Its my private thing. Please please, pleaaase don't say things just because you're pissed or because they seem a certain way to you on the surface.

[swalter]

People who cut themselves are usually very depressed, and feel powerless. They inflict physical pain upon themselves as an act of control, and as a temporary release from the deeper psychological pain they are in. To claim these people are cutting themselves for attention smacks of ignorance, and inability to empathize. If you're not interested in the facts on self-mutilation, or the plight of those who suffer with it, that's fine. But don't spread ignorant, malignant nonsense.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Oh yeah I know how to work the system, work a program, etc. It's just that my team isn't committed to me so I stopped being committed to my program. I'd ask for homepasses and it'd take them like 2 and a half weeks to get back. SoI got fed up with them. It was a process.

Drug use is a genetic thing; I like to get high, like the way the drink feels, etc.

And yeah they're trying to help me, I know, but I don't need it.

Militant, huh? Lol Rite.

N'aww, it's not like I'm better than school; it's a necessity, for everyone. I'm better than the school I go to right now, what with the restraints and all, but that's that.

And thanks, though, you're giving some good advice.

And an edge, huh? I'm gunna work on that. Thanks, dude.

I bet 'militant' is only one of the words in your file... Knowing the psych scene as well as I do I can probably throw out a long list of potential words they used, clips and phrases to 'describe you'.

I'm also going to hazard a guess or three here.

1. You have above average intelligence. I bet without even trying to score high on the IQ portion of psych evals your test results are higher than average.

2. You already know all the right things to answer on the evals. Thus you ain't telling them the whole story and they are trying to fill in the gaps.

3. You most likely don't react to drugs and alcohols like 'normal' people do. Most likely even have oppose actions/reactions to some of the drugs. For instant uppers calm you down and instead of getting all ansty and wild, you can actually sit perfectly still and focus on your thoughts.

So your impatience with the system is going to be there, and it will be a struggle. No doubt school annoys the crap out of you, the class teaches the same goddamn subject for way too long and you are totally bored by the time the teacher moves on.

I strongly suggest you take a few internet IQ tests to get a decent idea where your IQ really is. If you have been slacking on that aspect of the psych evals you have been taking you more than likely are setting yourself up for more harm than good.

The higher your test when it comes to IQ the more likely you will be placed in an advanced class in school, so you will be put to real work and actually not be bored as much. There are a few extra kudos to it as well. And yeah, being part of the mentally gifted crowd is not a cakewalk - way to many bullies and crap who love to pick on 'nerds'. But the alternatives is worse.

If you are as intelligent as I think you are, you are in for a world of misery dealing with the system. Any system, its all designed to cater to the sheep-mentality and a majority that just does not want to think about stuff and needs/wants others to tell them what to do. From the lines at DMV to the quadruple paperwork at banks, its all designed for people who have below average intelligence and who are able to follow like a docile sheep in a herd of sheep.

Your behavior is probably noted down as "erratic", if not "irrational", but you know perfectly well the reasons why you do X,Y,Z instead of follow the herd by doing A,B,C. Might not be able to explain the reasons to their satisfaction, but you know and you also know that it works for you as long as morons don't get in your way.

I have little doubt that up to this point you have been misdiagnosed - perhaps often and repeatedly. If you are not being honest and open with those psych evals, or applying yourself to the IQ tests that is going to continue.

And while you may think you are pulling the wool over their eyes completely and totally, I assure you if you are not applying yourself with 100% honesty to those evals it will show, thus they will be more reluctant to give you more wiggle room.

It took me about about a dozen times to figure out how to answer all of those questions on psych evals to get under their radar. They are sneaky and tricky.

The truth about human society on this planet and especially in the states in this day and age is that uniformity is demanded. If you refuse to fit in a hole they try to drive you into, this sort of thing only gets worse.

Once you are fully an adult and refrain from criminal activity (well refrain from getting caught) it does get easier. Finding your niche may be more difficult - if you do life gets hella easier.

While the USA loves to talk about freedoms and individuality, its a false freedom, a false individuality. The whole system is designed to run the show as a herd, thus having a herd mentality is what is expected and accepted. If you step out of that and they find out its going to be a hell of a ride.

Facebook and twitter are good examples. Now your potential boss can demand access to your facebook page. And if you don't have such, don't expect to be hired. Sheep mentality being demanded. If you don't have a facebook page, I strongly suggest you make one now and dress it up. 100% honesty is not needed - but no doubt you have been through the system enough to know what is expected and what is not.

Which is why I strongly urge you to utilize the education system to learn how this system works.

I also suggest you learn about autism/aspergers. If you can get a diagnosis like that you will have an easier ride. Steer clear from a diagnoses of anxiety and/or depression. Both can be medicated, aspergers isn't drugged (yet, no doubt they are working on a 'treatment').

Even if you are not on the Autism scale, it may work out to your advantage to learn how to test as being slightly on the scale. http://aspergersquiz.com/ for a test. Slightly on the scale doesn't mean you have to act like you are non-functioning.

I personally test on the scale, and looking back at my life I can see a clear indicator that I do have aspergers. Unfortunately for me back when I needed people to know that aspergers wasn't well known.

But, I do have a decidedly different slant on how life should be - I suspect you do as well for whatever reason.

Now days people who admit to having aspergers slide in many areas... its too good of an excuse and a lot of stuff is allowed.

It may play in your favor.