How to overcome watching porn?

[ChadCoxRox]

I bet you began enjoying bdsm after watching porn so it didn't come naturally, at least with me, I didn't have appetite for domination/submission before so that's why I realized it's not the part of me. You also refer to wikipedia so it's not yours. It's something that you was taught (like this aftercare). I think it's more like a habit, addiction then a real need...

When one is genuinely concerned, even frightened maybe, it is very natural to be very careful in trying to discern fact from fiction. If this effort continues to the point of becoming too defensive one can miss opportunities for true insight, learning and growth. If she fears this process it's likely far more complicated than can be adequately addressed in an online forum. The matters you share do not seem quite that complicated; however, your affect regarding them does. I would be very happy to discuss this further in private if you contact me. Otherwise, if it's not simply fascination and/or exploration with an open mind, the exercise within this thread might prove more harm than good.

I like and respect your pressing with a gentle firmness. I hope you'll find better comfort and resolution with the matter.

[happyschizoid]

I used watch it several times a week and went through a bunch of different types, anything from bondage to anime. In the end it just got boring and now only watch it occasionally. I never had much interest in it when I had a man in my life.

[Mark]

Krzysztof I think its down to you to overcome. You need to use your will power to just not watch it regardless of what people say. Everyone has different opinions on porn as you've seen from this thread if you TRUELY want to stop then you just literally have to do that and stop clicking on it. It will be hard but thats the only way.

[MisterLove]

Gay porn is definitely fake.

Actors use all kinds of drugs (e.g. phentolamine injections) to get an erection.

I wouldn't be able to get it up under those circumstances.

[HumbleTangerine]

I bet you began enjoying bdsm after watching porn so it didn't come naturally, at least with me, I didn't have appetite for domination/submission before so that's why I realized it's not the part of me. You also refer to wikipedia so it's not yours. It's something that you was taught (like this aftercare). I think it's more like a habit, addiction then a real need...

Nope, I thought there was something exciting about it way before I watched porn for the first time.

[Tulloni]

Interesting subject! A number of things spring to mind:

1. Krzysztof - I seriously wouldn't worry about this too much. I don't think you have an addiction to porn at all. 20 minutes every other day or several times a week is nothing. In fact, that's probably the average time most guys would spend on this if not even less. It's probably the average length of time guys spend masturbating per time normally so I wouldn't worry. This is completely normal and it's nothing to feel embarrassed about.

2. I saw some pornographic photos when I was dating my first bf in a totally monogamous relationship. We lasted 3 years together. Point is you can enjoy porn and maintain a healthy, monogamous, loving relationship. I wouldn't be concerned at all if my boyfriend (if I had one - I may do but it's hard to tell if he feels the same!), was into porn. Quite frankly, I'd be more worried if he didn't seem bothered at all about sex.

3. I admit I am quite into bondage as well. It's a bit intimidating but I kinda enjoy it at the same time. It's more of an interest and is by no means essential. Just a preference I guess - I've never tried it though but again there's nothing wrong with this so if you have these feelings... well just roll with it!

[Chris]

Ok, I said that I've been watching some domination/submission porn but now I'm wondering that you may think about something else There was no bondage, s&m or another stuff. Just a bit harder anal sex, deep throat and things like that. Nothing extraordinary but also not very romantic...

[Bluelight]

Sometimes my imagination gets me off better than porn haha I don't know, maybe find a hobby to keep yourself distracted?

[ChadCoxRox]

Ok, I said that I've been watching some domination/submission porn but now I'm wondering that you may think about something else There was no bondage, s&m or another stuff. Just a bit harder anal sex, deep throat and things like that. Nothing extraordinary but also not very romantic...

So you are concerned that the rougher, more aggressive sex is not sufficiently satisfying and you'd like to have some more romantic, sensitive giving and receiving. Is there EVER any gentle and more romantic interaction? Have you tried to tell him or show him? To what effect? How long has this been going on?

[ddd]

After all you have said, I don't think you have a real problem with porn. It's pretty normal for a guy your age to have some interests in porn. If you watch porn about 20 min and not every day, there is nothing to worry. This interest will vanish in a couple of years. Just try for the very current moment to think of porn as something fake (as it was mentioned in some posts above). You shouldn't worry about the romantic emotions, they will come naturally, when you start dating someone special. Just don't think of porn as a problem, it will only make you watch it more.