Hi All, Sorry to butt in but I'm new and need advice....

[MacGuy]

Hi All, Sorry to butt in but I'm new and need advice....

So I'm 25 gay guy and not out... I recently went to buy a new laptop and the guy there was really attractive. We chatted about the sale first and then when we had done the sale, we kept talking for a few more mins. He then offered me a coffee and we chatted some more. He was asking me about myself and where I hang out, and hobbies etc. I felt he was laughing at my jokes a lot as well. So then the technician came back and said that my mac would not be in till Friday so I'd have to come back. So on Friday, I got a call to say that the mac was ready. When I got there salesguy said they were tuning it up and invited me in for more coffee and we chatted again.. Then my mac was ready and I headed away.. I was really confused, I really think there was a connection. He seemed interested even after selling the mac. He then rang later that week and asked me how I was getting on with it. He also said "any plans for the weekend" and "where do you normally hang out" We chatted some more and left it then. So this week I rang him with a quick question and we ended up chatting for 41 mins on the phone about general stuff. Then he said "Next time you will need a family computer" and I said no "I will never have kids" and he said, "I'm the same I have no ties either, I'm completely free". We chatted some more and then ended the call..

So, am I reading too much into this, did he go above and beyond?? I am really inexperienced in this, so I don't know.. But going on body language and conversation he may be interested.. Question is what do I do now?? I cant send anymore irrelevant question regarding computer, so what should I do. How do I approach a date of some sorts be it coffee etc. Or even before that what can I do to ask more questions to see if he's definitely gay or get any more info.. I think he knows I'm gay but he may be thinking the same as me.. What reason could I have to contact again or should I wait for him...

Sorry for long message but with limited experience any help is really appreciated. I am excited but don't want to get ahead of myself or make a fool of myself.....

Many Thanks...

[CellarDweller]

He's interested.......call him back and set a date for coffee.

[ChadCoxRox]

Heavens!!!! Why have you not already asked him out? Best wishes and welcome to GS!

[princealbertofb]

to GaySpeak, MacGuy. It sounds like a very positive experience. There is every reason for you to contact him again since there was that connection. You said all your interactions went way past what would be normal for a regular client, so maybe it's ok for you to call and ask him if he'd like to go to a movie with you or go out for a drink and tapas... You are in Spain, right? The thing is, you don't want to ask embarrassing questions. You want to be open about who you are. That's all. So you volunteer the information in a non commital way. It's always easier with new acquaintances to admit one's sexuality early on in the conversation, because they don't have any expectations of you. Once he knows what your orientation is, then he can maybe make a move, or just remain a good chatty buddy. He must have found you sufficiently to his taste to prolong all those conversations... don't you think?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Not to imply you are a liar, but if everything went as you posted it, then this is one of those few threads I get to say 'You are not reading too much in this'.

For future reference, when a person says 'I am single' without being asked, or as a statement after you tell them your status they are signalling their interest to mate with you (at the very least).

Also, if a person takes 41 minutes to talk to you about something that can be accomplished in 5 minutes, this is usually an indicator that they really are interested in you and want to get to know you better.

All of those questions, especially where do you hang out on weekends, were attempts to figure out your orientation. Meaning he needs to know if you are gay/straight/bi.

Since its impolite for a store person to ask a customer 'Dude are you gay?' he is most likely trying on lots of different methods to get an answer to that question.

Go back to the store and ask him about accessories for your computer. Need a new cable, a new mouse - hell you don't even really need one this is but an excuse to ask an all important question. Ask him "Does it come in the color rainbow?"

Exactly like that.... This will tell him all he needs to know about your sexuality. Rainbow - universally known in the gay community as 'gay'.

Once he smiles and shakes his head no, then tell him he owes you a cup of coffee to make up for that item not coming in the color rainbow.... He most likely will tell you when and where.

But (Sorry my friend, there seems to always be a but attached) since you are in the closet this may be an 'issue'. I fear most out guys have had or heard of bad experiences with dating a closeted individual. Such relationships tend to be rocky, especially if the in the closet person continues to fight coming out - or tries to make their partner go in the closet so they can stay in a closet. Such situations rarely end well.

Before you go to that store, I strongly suggest you contemplate your closet status. How willing are you to come out at this time? Is it very willing (yeah I know, its scary - being scared is normal - but still are you willing?).

Maybe not come out to everyone right now... but come out to friends a trusted family member....

If so then pursue this with gusto. If not, then be prepared for this to not turn out well once he finds out you are still in the closet.

I do wish you all the best in this and I hope it works out well for you.

cheers

[princealbertofb]

Hey, Bowyn, maybe he's just looking for that excuse to come out, at last.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Yeah I hope so.... It would be loverly to have him report back to us that not only does he have a new BF, but is also coming out of the closet with friends and family.

[Wolfpack]

Set up a date with him, after all you have nothing to lose

[MacGuy]

Evening everyone, Firstly I have to say thanks a lot for the replies... Really helpful..

Firstly just an update: Computer guy rang me today out of the blue asking me to recommend someone in my line of work to do some website work for them!!! Not extremly chatty but about 5 mins.

Ok well as regards coming out, I'm not out but people would presume I'm gay. Not by my actions but by the fact there are no girls around.. I'm not overly interested in announcing it either. Mainly because up until now there has been no REAL interest on my behalf. However this situation threw me a little. But going back to Mr Computer Guy, I'd be 90% sure he's not out either. Thats why I'd be more confident that this could work.

I am fully committed to moving this on, but the question I have is How do I move it away from a Salesman/Customer situation to a more personal request. I think maybe a text message would be better than going back in talking shop? But what would I say? Can I randomly text and say "Whats the plan for the weekend?" or do I just say "Lets meet for a coffee". Also if I'm right in thinking he's gay he will answer question 1 with an invite, if I'm wrong he will answer question 2 with fright!!!! I don't want to be outed by the computer guy. What other open ended questions could I ask via text in order to ascertain his orientation?? Whilst all the while keeping it casual?? Is texting again a bad idea. Should I wait for him to make a move or is he thinking the same. So again, thanks a lot and I'm sorry to be boring on. Any advice is appreciated...

[LONDONER]

He's interested.......call him back and set a date for coffee.

Definitely ditto. Don't miss the opportunity.