Is it ok to date a man much older than you?

[Anonymous]

I'm 18 years old guy and I've been receiving attention from a man who's 50. He's quite handsome, intelligent and charming person, but whenever I think about his age, I think that he's too old for me. We met in a guest-night and he's been caring for me since. I don't know why, but seems that he does everything to make me feel good. When I had really big trouble in school and was about to be expelled, I don't know how, but he fixed everything. Every day he calls me and offers me to have a lunch with him, sometimes I do. He told me to let him know whenever I need anything.

Now he invited me to his place for a dinner and I don't know whether I should go. I mean - what if he wants sex? I'm virgin and I don't know if I'll ever do it, because I'm quite afraid of sex, especially with an older man like him. He's been very good to me, but why? I'm young enough to be his son. Why wouldn't he date someone who's as mature and experienced as him?

Do you think I should go? Or maybe just make up some excuse?

[HumbleTangerine]

It's a tricky situation. First of all, you need to understand that it's possible he just wants you for sex. Never, under any circumstances, should you agree to have sex unless you feel safe and prepared for it. You ask, "what if he wants sex?" and the answer is that you won't let him get that unless it's something you want to go through with.

The second thing you need to understand is that even if his intentions are less shallow, less physical, your friends and family are extremely unlikely to ever accept the two of you being together.

If you can accept the following things, there's nothing wrong about you seeing a much older man, really. It's not illegal but it is frowned upon. Be careful, don't let him take any advantages of you, and if everything ends up feeling alright for the both of you, there's no reason why you can't see each other. If you accept the previous things I stated that is.

[Mark]

I'd be interested to know.. Do you like him for him.. Or is it because he has been this white knight thats come in and fixed everything, offering to help you out.. It can be quite lustful having that.

I wouldn't say age matters at the end of the day but equally you need to remember you may be at different stages in life where you're just about to start out - and he's more than likely looking for something committed and quite heavy.

If you are worried about going to his then don't... Go out for dinner in a public place where you know you can be safe.

[James9]

I actually don't see something wrong with age difference.

If he's so nice and you know him for some time then ,if I were you, I would go. But you should talk to him about what you're feeling. Maybe he cares about you. You're young enough to be his son but that doesn't mean 50 years old guys can't be attracted to younger ones!

I wish someone was so nice with me!

[Mark]

I wish someone was so nice with me!

You will get it soon enough sir

[matty7]

just because someone is nice to you doesn't mean you owe him anything, especially sex wise - there are some amazing people out there who genuinely care for and help the youth of today and they should be applauded , maybe asking you to his place for a meal may be totally platonic but it may also be overstepping the boundaries too...at 18 then if u do want a relation ship with this guy then do what your heart wants, but do be careful as some people put themselves in certain positions in society so they can get access to younger people - hate to be a kill joy but tis can happen. I hope this guy is not like that, just let people know where u are going if you do and stay safe

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Lots of people will say age is just a number. I'm one of them. (I'm 10 years older than my SO)

However there are practical considerations that need to be thought about when entering into any relationship where there is a significant age difference between the individuals, not least what others will think, or assume about the relationship.

On the one hand he could just be looking for the friendship of someone younger, and there is no harm in that, assuming you have set some boundaries of just what that friendship is. On the other hand there may be the expection of a sexual encounter, just because up until now he's assumed that your interested as you have done nothing (I assume) to dissuade him otherwise.

As you have already met face to face, I would recommend dinner out, rather than at his home, that is if you even want to have dinner. That will give you more of an opportunity to find out/discuss intentions in a more comfortable setting, where you can just leave if you feel you need to.

Are you out to people? Does this guy know where you live etc? This can also have a bearing on how you handle the situation.

Good luck,
ObW
X

[James]

Or just maybe the father figure role suits him and just wants a dinner with his kid, lots of combinations but I agree a dinner out at a restaurant would be much safer to start, where you can find out more about what he is looking for, Jim

[bootsguy]

Age is just a number and love is what matter.

[Cuddly]

I was 18 when I met my husbear (47). 7.5 years later we're happy as ever.

We got to know each other via chatting, then camchat for ~3 months before I went and visited him for a few days and lost my virginity.

Are you sexually attracted to him and his type? Is he boyfriend material?