I made my dating profile and put my picture but I feel so intimated by all the pretty girls on there , I sent a few messages , and didn't get any answers some of the girls were from my town . but it seems like I'm not very popular there I've gotten a few people visiting my profile but no one says hi or sends a message . I know the picture I have on there isn't great but would be nice to get a response . I've got only one girl to talk to me but she's just wants friendship and causal sex . I kinda feel shot down with online dating and I'm planning to go to this meet up place with gays and lesbian in hopes to meet someone because internet dating doesn't seem to be going to well for me . I got so depressed I thought of just dating men just because their i'm lonely but i don't want to kiss or have sex with men I only seem to get responses from men in real life too which sucks . I'm just feeling depressed . T_T Is lesbian life really this lonely 
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Sorry you are feeling so down, hopefully you will be able to meet someone in the real world rather than via online dating. Try to keep your spirits up, i am sure you will meet someone in time. 
•
Online dating (not hookup sites) can be frustrating for the LGBT crowd. I know a *few* people who have been successful with it, but they all had profiles all over the place, and worked it hard for several months before having any luck. So, if you're not getting a good response, or any response on the site you're using, don't take it personally, and don't let it discourage you.
Your profile says you're in Stamford (home of the WWE/F). If memory serves, there's quite a few gay venues and bars in your area, including NY. With such a vast IRL smorgasbord at your disposal, why are you going the way of the Internet? I would say you'd have a lot better chance doing it in person than online. What say you?
•
swalter Wrote:Online dating (not hookup sites) can be frustrating for the LGBT crowd. I know a *few* people who have been successful with it, but they all had profiles all over the place, and worked it hard for several months before having any luck. So, if you're not getting a good response, or any response on the site you're using, don't take it personally, and don't let it discourage you.
Your profile says you're in Stamford (home of the WWE/F). If memory serves, there's quite a few gay venues and bars in your area, including NY. With such a vast IRL smorgasbord at your disposal, why are you going the way of the Internet? I would say you'd have a lot better chance doing it in person than online. What say you?
My friend who is bi told me the internet is better plus i have social anxiety but I have been going out by myself to places like the mall and I didn't get any panic attacks of lately . and yes your right there are a few gay venues and bars but I have only found one but my work schedule gets in the way but I found another one that's prefect for me
•
Melody Wrote:My friend who is bi told me the internet is better plus i have social anxiety but I have been going out by myself to places like the mall and I didn't get any panic attacks of lately . and yes your right there are a few gay venues and bars but I have only found one but my work schedule gets in the way but I found another one that's prefect for me There's nothing wrong with online dating. But for someone who's so close to NYC, not to mention all the places between CT and Manhattan, I think you're wasting a great resource by not getting yourself out to some proper social venues.
I can relate to the social anxiety, and suggest you grab a friend you trust, and go to some of the venues that cater to our crowd. In your area, you'll find specific niche bars and clubs for many different scenes. Go on Yelp and pick out one or two of the top picks. If it's not your scene, move on to the next one. If you start to bug out, have a drink or (better yet) smoke joint. Chill. You're just out having fun. The point is, give yourself a chance. And take a chance. Doing something that scares the shit out of you can be very liberating (I'm not saying go do something dangerous or stupid). If you have a fear of initiating conversations with strangers, do it! Pick someone out, anyone, and go up and say hi. If you're afraid of rejection, make rejection your goal of the night, and see how many times you can get denied.
You can amaze yourself
•
Join the club! I've been online dating for the best part of 4 years now and guess what? I've only had one boyfriend during the time and that only lasted 6 weeks! Furthermore, I've met up with so many dickheads online it's ridiculous. I've lost count of the times I've thought 'hmm, this guy seems funny, good looking, friendly, intelligent.. looks like he's got a lot to offer. Why not meet him?' only to find out that this guy is an arrogant, smug idiot with a superiority complex and/or an attitude problem and we just wind up hating each other.
Or I meet a guy, really like him, only to find out he doesn't feel the same and is not interested in dating. That happened to me on Wednesday, I met a Polish guy who seemed nice but he just wanted to be friends. I felt pissed off and quite frankly that I had wasted my time. I know you can't win them all but come on, I had to hang around in town until 9pm not getting back till 10pm so it ate my free time up!
So yeah online dating can be time consuming as well but being single isn't all that bad. I've met up with so many total knobs I wonder if there's any point continuing to search for love. I know that's pessimistic but that's how I feel at the moment.
•
Your experience is typical. Most people have these sorts of issues.
The worst that happens is there tend to be a lot of sleezy types that use the relationship sites as hook-up sites. So consider yourself lucky you ain't getting your spam folder filled with someones home movies (porn) all the time. (Its sad really).
The world is full of coal - there are a few diamonds mixed in....But you have to shovel hella lot of coal to find them 
•
Tulloni Wrote:Join the club! I've been online dating for the best part of 4 years now and guess what? I've only had one boyfriend during the time and that only lasted 6 weeks! Furthermore, I've met up with so many dickheads online it's ridiculous. I've lost count of the times I've thought 'hmm, this guy seems funny, good looking, friendly, intelligent.. looks like he's got a lot to offer. Why not meet him?' only to find out that this guy is an arrogant, smug idiot with a superiority complex and/or an attitude problem and we just wind up hating each other.
Or I meet a guy, really like him, only to find out he doesn't feel the same and is not interested in dating. That happened to me on Wednesday, I met a Polish guy who seemed nice but he just wanted to be friends. I felt pissed off and quite frankly that I had wasted my time. I know you can't win them all but come on, I had to hang around in town until 9pm not getting back till 10pm so it ate my free time up!
So yeah online dating can be time consuming as well but being single isn't all that bad. I've met up with so many total knobs I wonder if there's any point continuing to search for love. I know that's pessimistic but that's how I feel at the moment.
Exactly the same here! The worst case is when you hit it off with a guy big time (or so you think), meet up, yet never hear from them again.
Sorry to add to the negativity. Being gay is sometimes the worst thing in the world, but I'm a firm believer that there's someone out there for everyone.
Keep your chin up!
•
GuyOverThere Wrote:Sorry to add to the negativity. Being gay is sometimes the worst thing in the world, but I'm a firm believer that there's someone out there for everyone.
Keep your chin up!
Being gay is indeed a very difficult life. Especially for being who aren't good at socializing. I feel for you as I too have had panic attacks in the past & still am so shy i cannot meet or connect with anyone. Online hasn't worked for me either. People barely check out my profile(s) nor message or reply to me. I am a borderline good looking guy so idk what is - apparently it's not "just" looks. You have to try not to take it personally I guess.
I think people interact or can meet one another in person out in social situations. For people like us who aren't "out there" enough we have a lot fewer opportunities. I can't get myself to go places but it's easier to advise YOU to do so!! Not much is going to happen sitting at home.
I just lost the only bf I've ever had & have zero friends so I understand feeling depressed & demoralized. If you have friends to go out with to bars or the gym or take a class or volunteer you may meet people better that way. Sorry I can't help much but do know there are a lot of lonely (especially gay) people out there so it's not just you!!
•
Meh, online dating is like drag netting. You are going to catch a lotof cod beforeyou catch a tuna. Online dating can be abit over whelming at first. And you bet know one of this really pretty girls might just think you are her type.
The trick is perseverance and patience
•
|
