Wanting to date another guy younger then me

[HumbleTangerine]

I want to add a few things after thinking it over & seeing some really good posts here. Yes, my husband is five years younger than me. BUT we got together when he was 19 & I was 24. If I were 20 & he were 15, that would be wrong. But 9 years is a MUCH bigger difference than five. plus you wouldn't be in the same place emotionally and maturity-wise. It's not exact in every single person, but there is something to be said via developmental psychology.

Now let's get hypothetical- someone made an excellent point that gays are being frequently compared to pedophiles & this perpetuates that stereotype. Yet when we hear about a 45 year old man with a 18 year old woman we agree it's gross and wrong and creepy. If he's rich we label her a gold digger. but do you hear people calling them pedopbes? Not as often as you'd think. My question is-would we be as concerned if he'd admitted interest in an 18 year old? Do we think it's a travesty for an 18 year old to do porn?

Like I said, according to current English law, (correct me if I'm wrong,) 16 is the legal age for sex therefore in that instance they do think a 16 year old is an adult, at least no longer a child in that senese. Whether that's right or wrong isn't up to me.

Besides, it's Europe. Their age is 16 & ours is 18 because they use the metric system . Duh.

I can only speak for myself, but I was bothered more by his mindset than the actual age he had in mind. The way he's just decided before-hand that he wants to date a guy around 16 makes people naturally question his motives. And, for the record, I don't really think it's gross seeing a 45-year old with an 18-year old. NOW, if the 45 year old had been deliberately set for someone that age I'd probably judge a bit harder.

Whether it's legal or not, 16 year olds are essentially children. I'm not calling OP a paedophile, and if it's legal where he is I don't care what happens. But to me it just comes naturally questioning the motives of adults who wish to date and presumably fuck non-adults.

[ChadCoxRox]

This thread is creepy. You say you are with a lovely guy but you want someone younger but you can't. Why not? I day creepy because the lovely one must not have a clue he's too old for you to be satisfied. I get you intended to male it clear you ate not a pedophile. Your lack of engagement is also creepy. I close the thread for me and send the very best and warmest well wishes for the lovely guy.

[ChadCoxRox]

I totally LOVE the results of typing with swipe and no edit. "ate a pedo" gross.

[Iceblink]

Hi
Im in a relationship with a lovely guy but I wanna date a younger lad 16+ but I know I can't can anyone help me out please

Thanks Leeds

What do you mean help you out? You're asking people to be an accomplice to your cheating?

[yourname]

This is disturbing. It would be a lot less disturbing if you were actually in love with a 16 year old, but that you've decided before-hand that that's the age you're going for. WHILST IN A RELATIONSHIP.

I would sit down and clearly think through my priorities if I were you.

Yeah, this is beyond creepy. OP: seek some counseling about what you're actually looking for here, because your presentation sounds...er....'off'.

My first inclination when someone dramatically older suggests their attraction isn't just "younger", but literally the absolute legal minimum possible in their jurisdiction, is they're not really saying "16+"...they're saying "really, I want a 16yo (because I have to legally), but damn, I sure hope he's one who looks 14, or 12, or...."

Again, your whole presentation here is just messed up. I think you might benefit from someone who can help you get to the root of whatever need is pushing you here. In the end, I doubt a [ehem, right] 16yo is going to have the wits or experience to help you figure out what's really going on.

[Dodie]

If you are in a relationship with someone wonderful, why would you want more? I've never understood why some gam men keep chasing other guys when they already have their fairytale.

[Lambert]

Hmm.. whatever floats your boat I guess

[Xaelphorious]

What everyone else said above, you should date within your own age range, you're bound for disappointment if you don't.

[HIkerSkier]

Maybe I'm just a bit too cynical, but has it occurred to anyone else, that with what could be said to be a controversial post as a first post, and never having posted again, that this just might possibly be an example of trolling?

[TwisttheLeaf]

Adding a little perspective who say that a 16 year old may not be mature enough to handle a relationship.

1) I emancipated from my parents at the age of 16. After doing so, I put myself through school, both finishing high school and moving on to university. I created my own stability. A home, a life. And holding down 2+ part time jobs at a time to facilitate that stability. At 18, I signed a mortgage. One I still have and have never been late on paying. In fact, it's over half way paid off (ahead of schedule). I had an 'emergency' prepaid cell for years, but never used it. I didn't become hitched to one until in my 20's because it's my contact with Gideon.

2) I first hooked up with Gideon when I was 19. He was in his 30's. (It didn't start out as a relationship, but ended up as one.) Never -once- in our now 6 year relationship has the age difference been an issue. Never once have we ever had nothing to talk about, or has our discussions been one-sided (with the exception of times when I hit a depression low and he's trying to pull me out of it, anyway).

3) I started my sexual exploration and learning curve at 14. By the time I was 16, I had a decent amount of experience under my belt. I knew what I was doing and -enjoyed- the encounters I'd had.

Not all teenagers are mindless, electronic addicted idiots. Not all teenagers are shallow. I may be the exception to the norm, but I know I'm not the -only- exception to the norm out there. Nor are all teenagers inexperienced and unable to hold their own with someone older than them, whether holding their own sexually or holding their own intellectually and via conversation.

That said............

I agree with the fact that it's fucked up that he's with someone and fantasizing about random encounters with some random someone else.

OP... If you're unhappy with your relationship, then you need to deal with that (either figure out what's wrong in your relationship that's making you unsatisfied and trying to fix it, or figuring out what's wrong in your relationship and deciding it's not fixable and moving on) before trying to act on fantasies you may have about others, younger or not.