TGo to my ex's Birthday dinner or not?

[EvenOlderButWiser]

At least you can stop procrastinating over the do I don't I go dilemma :biggrin:

Rise above it, and arrange to do something else on the day, even if that is to go see the latest blockbuster movie, there are plenty of those in the cinema at the moment.



ObW
X

[ChadCoxRox]

It's painful to read. I'm sorry for your pain. A loyal man deserves loyalty. You can read your own posts and gather you need to work on your own supports. Healing can be rewarding. Not healing can make your more vulnerable with each passing day. I hope you'll make an effort to stay connected here. [emoji8]

[novice]

If I can get through this & well enough I definitely do need to "get" a support system of friends, etc (somehow). I knew that before I got & now lost this bf but don't know how or have any more ability to do make friends than I ever have (or it would've been done by now).

That's why losing the closest person I have in this state (& life) who I've known for 4 years now & dated exclusively for 18 months is so devastating. It apparently has been taken out of my hands now (though asaiknew he wanted to remain "friends" til this hsppened). I don't even have anyone who can listen to this last VM from his friend & "screen" it for me so I don't have to hear any more bad shit. It may just be him apologizing again who knows.

[swalter]

Why don't you have any friends of your own?

[Ryocchi]

Dude you need a girl-friend.

They are the shit in this kind of situations, and would never leave you alone, I have three and they are one of the highest blessings God bestowed upon me.

They will make you laugh, hug you when you need them, listen to your sobbings without judging and hate your ex as if it happened to them, (even when you can't hate the bastard yourself)

[novice]

Why don't you have any friends of your own?

I've never made friends very easily. Very shy actually. I tried alot when I first moved here but had little to no luck. Initially I was a "new" body in town so might manage a hookup here & there but have never found anyone who wanted to be friends. Why? Idk. Girlfriends would be fine if I knew how to meet them. Once I had this bf I was happy enough with him. I assure you I hate being alone but can't seem to change it. Been this way all my life - I hoped moving here I'd be able to meet people somehow but I never could.

[novice]

Another odd update (basically word for word - I'm using "Nate" as name of the ex rather than his real name) - I finally saw & had a therapist I saw listen to the 2nd VM & it was the best friend saying:

"sorry I've gotten this all wrong, I was talking to" (my ex's sister) "& I've been in the hospital but trying to plan this surprise party for him, you're more than welcome to come, he wants you to be there but idk what's up w/ you two's friendship but Nate is going to be there, idk what that's all about, he doesn't want you to uncomfortable w/ him there, if you can come, & if it's ok if Nate is there, he just doesn't want anybody to be hard feelings. So, & the 5 ppl uninvited were women w/ kids (didn't want kids there) but he (my ex) really wanted me to be there. So he'd like you to come but he wants you to know Nate is gonna be there...I sincerely apologize - idk how that came out prior, if you have any questions please give me a call......" blah blah blah

So, my ex's sister seems to know more about "our" situation than the best friend but I still cannot fathom having us both there - even though "Nate" may be there just a an ex who's still a "friend" or not - he apparently doesn't know either. My ex I guess is just utterly emotionally "unaware" (ignorant) or just doesn't "see" this as "inappropriate." He must not be "CLEAR" when talking to his sis or best friend either - SURELY they BOTH wouldn't have told him this was "weird" if they both knew "OUR" situation - especially relative to the other ex?!?!?!

[Mark]

Just turn your phone off all this coming and going is giving ME a headache so god knows what its doing to you :p

[novice]

Just turn your phone off all this coming and going is giving ME a headache so god knows what its doing to you :p

Great idea.....but not one I followed. "Alot" happened today but it's as complicated or more so than the rest of it so it'd be too difficult/"involved" to explain or describe. Idk if anyone would believe me either (!?).

Long story short: I'm not going (even though I am "invited" technically!). I somehow still feel like the "loser" in all this. Whatever one can say about my ex - he still will have many many more chances with many many more guys & I will continue to have very very few, if any. A harsh truth I wish were not so but it's my reality.