What's on Your Mind

[Bhp91126]

12 oz (400 gr.) is too much shredded cheese on top of a pizza. Don’t ask me how I found out.

[InbetweenDreams]

@Bhp91126 There is no such thing as too much cheese...


So an update on my mom and probably long rant. So the good news is that it appears that she did not have a stroke but she's not quite herself. She did have an upper GI earlier in the morning before I got there and it is possible that it was the lingering effects of anesthesia. The bad news is that her kidneys are in bad shape and it is possible that may have somehow caused the stroke like episode. I'm not a doctor so I try to refrain from assuming things. Given that she was airlifted to a more capable hospital I would presume they know what they're doing and know what to look for. I am just glad they didn't send her home right away like they did at the local hospital a few weeks ago as we know something is wrong. Unfortunately getting information is more difficult since visiting hours are limited. For example, they have it where you can only visit between 4-8 and only one person per day and given that my mom is not really with it she isn't able to remember details and so on.

My dad has been an absolute pain in the ass in unimaginable ways, trust me, I'm not being an ungrateful person or anything...he is a nutcase.

When I got home Thursday after my dad called when I walked in he was on WebMD or some similar website looking about symptoms for a blocked carotid artery. He totally missed the signs of a stroke, while it may not be a stroke, looking up stuff on the web is not what someone should be doing. Anyone with such symptoms needs to go to the hospital. Why he is unable to realize that he has an emergency on his hands and should call 911 is beyond me, perhaps he is just that dumb.

I believe it was the next day he wanted me to call the hospital and get updates. At that point she was in the ER as they did not have any rooms available and no visitors are allowed in the ER. I had discussed that we should wait later on in the morning to call in case they were doing more tests and he has errands to run, I thought it made sense anyway. He took that as I wasn't going to call and luck would have it that he is on the phone with the hospital at the same time. He comes downstairs and starts screaming at me while I have her nurse on the phone (on speaker, so they can hear him) and wasn't able to find out anything. I ended up coming to work on a day off just to get away from him.

He later did talk to a doctor about her kidneys and he somehow got on a kick about polycystic kidney disease....we don't know what she has, she does have a cyst on one of her kidneys, is it polycystic kidney disease? We don't know, but yet he think he knows all these things because, once again he's looking shit up on the internet and confuses a symptom for a diagnosis.

Finally she gets into a room and because my dad doesn't know how to use a smartphone and use Google Maps, I come along. Not going to complain about his driving but we'll say it ain't what it used to be. He doesn't stay long and doesn't find out anything, figured he would have tried talking to a doctor or a nurse while he was there or stayed longer than 20 minutes since it was over a 2 hour drive. Here's the fun part. They charge for parking, you get a ticket when you enter the parking garage and pay when you leave. I explain to him that he needs to get in a certain lane if he's paying by cash. So he gets up to the booth and get the ticket in and can't get it to take a dollar bill. He throws a fit and says he's never coming back again and flailing his arms around like a child. I had to get out of the van and put the money in for him.

The next to cause him to act like a complete narcissistic child is that of course my mom gets a jury duty summons. This county we live in thinks it is 1985 and for someone like my mom who is permanently disabled you have to have a doctor send a fax or letter to the Sheriff's office to be taken off the list... I thought they had taken care of it and I'm seldom in the loop. My dad calls my mom in the hospital telling her to tell a doctor there to write up a letter to fax to the sheriff's office. Wtf? Not only would I not be making my mom worry about trying to do something like that while in the hospital but I wouldn't be asking hospital doctors to do something like that, her primary doctor should have been contacted first to deal with that. That did ultimately get done but why it had to be such a production.

I have no idea what else is going to happen. My dad is idk if he's just stupid, crazy, both. Probably both. He is definitely narcissistic at the least, he definitely doesn't seem to grasp empathy and never is at fault when most of this shit is his damn fault.

[ceez]

I hope things are getting better for you @InbetweenDreams that's a tough situation to be in. What me and my sisters found out is once you get older the rolls revere, the parents become the children and children become parents. I still remember scolding my grandmother when she would sneak out for fried chicken after two open heart surgeries and 13 stints.

[InbetweenDreams]

@ceez I am definitely finding that to be the case. I've thought to myself that I don't remember my parents being this way and thought that maybe it is me just noticing things or that it was because they're shut-ins (they don't get out and do things very often). I also had no idea how severe of kidney disease my mom has and found out my dad has kidney disease as well....it's all due to diet. They're both diabetic and do not diet and that has largely led to this. It is difficult to deal with and not very many places to turn for support.

[andy]

@InbetweenDreams Sorry to hear about your mum. Hope the problems ease up and she makes a speedy recovery! 

[Bhp91126]

@InbetweenDreams so sorry about your troubles. You have quite the fight ahead of you. To your parents you will always be their child, they know better, they don’t take their offspring’s advice seriously. Are there any siblings or other relatives of your parents generation who could help you, putting some sense into their heads? Their friends?

[InbetweenDreams]

@InbetweenDreams so sorry about your troubles. You have quite the fight ahead of you. To your parents you will always be their child, they know better, they don’t take their offspring’s advice seriously. Are there any siblings or other relatives of your parents generation who could help you, putting some sense into their heads? Their friends?

Only my sister and they do tend to listen to her somewhat. It's more that they're stubborn, like how a 5 year old won't eat their broccoli. In the case of my dad, I don't think his doctor really has explained to him how big of a deal kidney disease is...he basically eats like a 5 year old....Some of the shit he calls a meal is something you could imagine a kid eating. I mean not everything is awful but some things he has you wonder, how do you even like that?! The problem is mostly that my dad likes to have fried foods, hamburgers and stuff like bratwurst and all the time. Very little in the way of vegetables and what little there is it is usually fried. Also, since my dad often is the one cooking, god help us, that is what my mom eats and apparently no one ever asked what they eat or advised her on the seriousness of her kidney disease....You don't get a GFR of 58 overnight. Truth is, I am kind of in the dark on their health issues as it sort isn't my business but I feel like the doctor they see isn't pumping the brakes. I don't know if it is because the doctor knows they don't care or if they're missing the giant elephant in the room. As for my mom, I think she doesn't care anymore. She has a lot of health issues already and let's just say my dad is a pain in the ass to deal with and she's tired of it. Losing mobility due to RA and COPD kind of makes you not care so much....

I do hope she recovers of course but it looks like she's close to needing dialysis and will need in home care according to the doctors. Don't know much more details unless someone calls. Getting info from my mom is difficult as she's not quite with it, has difficulty with clarity of thought it seems.

[InbetweenDreams]

Well, I voted today. You know I voted for Thom Tillis and Trump/Pence and that Cawthron guy... HA! I'm joking I didn't vote for those jackasses!


Anyway... My mom is home now. She's doing alright, we got her using a walker instead of a cane. Still not sure if she actually had a stroke, we never spoke to a doctor that went into many details. However, she does have to wear a heart monitor as her ECG was abnormal and follow up with a cardiologist. In addition to her kidneys it does appear she has what is called white matter disease (the brain). Not sure what all the notes meant on the MRI they did but she is to follow up with a neurologist. She is now eating better, trying to get my dad to do the same since well, it would clearly do him some good but I doubt he will. So hopefully we can get her on a better track. Afterall, it isn't so much about how long someone lives it is the quality of life that matters and I think she will do better eating better and trying to get her out and about more.

[Bhp91126]

@InbetweenDreams congrats on the voting and having your mom back home. Having all these appointments with specialists sounds to me as if the hospital couldn’t figure out what is wrong with her. Her eating better is at least a step in the right direction. Hang in there.

[Chase]

My mom is sick. She's really tired, vomiting, and has chills. She's insistent on not going to the hospital, so there isn't much I can do.