I need help deciding what to do w/my life

[GayHighSchooler]

So I'm about to enter my second year of high school and I feel like it is time to come out. I' kind of at that fuck it phase that I don't really care what people think and I just want to be myself. The problem is that that feeling comes and goes and I don't want to do anything rash that could potentially ruin my high school life. The only people that I'm out to is my mom and my sister and my mom thinks that I shouldn't do it, but I could care less what she thinks. I really want a boyfriend and the only way that I can do that is if I'm out. There are not that many people out at my school (like maybe 20 that I know of in all grades), but there are obviously more gay people than that at my school. So I need help deciding if I should come out next school year or not (in like 3 months). I kinda want to...

[Mark]

Only come out when you are ready! If you come out too early and it turns bad you will regret it. Being gay shouldn't be something you regret and I feel if you rush coming out that experience would suck. If you want to then do it but if not then don't. I know this sounds like pointless advice... but...

Only come out when you are ready!

[GayHighSchooler]

Only come out when you are ready! If you come out too early and it turns bad you will regret it. Being gay shouldn't be something you regret and I feel if you rush coming out that experience would suck. If you want to then do it but if not then don't. I know this sounds like pointless advice... but...

Only come out when you are ready!

i just don't want to lose friends but I want to be myself and AHHHH! Ik it's a cliche, but I really am confused

[Mark]

i just don't want to lose friends but I want to be myself and AHHHH! Ik it's a cliche, but I really am confused

If you lost friends over it then they really aren't your friends. But once again as I said if you aren't sure then don't rush it. You aren't expected to do it.. And your happiness should be your main concern.

[GayHighSchooler]

If you lost friends over it then they really aren't your friends. But once again as I said if you aren't sure then don't rush it. You aren't expected to do it.. And your happiness should be your main concern.

That's the problem. I don't know what would make me happier :/. Should I just wait for someone I kinda like to come out so that I have someone to date???? I really want a boyfriend though

[Iceblink]

Friends that will not accept you for who you are, are not really friends. I always encourage everyone to live openly and be themselves. There is one big exception to this advice, however. If you are financially dependent on your parents and they will have a difficult time with it and could throw you out of the house, wait. Work to get yourself able to support yourself and come out at that time. Homelessness is not a good thing.

[Sharkspeare]

Hey guy, listen to this bit of experience.
Late teens are the time when straight people start to experience dating and love and relationships. No one is born knowing how to do it, so there's lots of mistakes made, fumbling around, being in love one day and dumping (or being dumped) the next. That's all natural; that's how our development is supposed to go.

But in the past, gay men (and women) couldn't do that, so they entered their "adolescence"when they were in their 20s or even 30s or 40s. This makes people socially retarded. There you are, later in life, making the same mistakes and learning life lessons while everyone else has settled down to some kind of real life. So you have these sad characters, 40 and 50 year old men, chasing 18 year olds now because they couldn't do that then. Or running through relationships as if trying to figure out who they wanted to take to the prom.

You are exactly at the right time to explore. If you come out, you'll have had your adolescence at the appropriate time, and later when you enter adulthood you'll be just as equipped to deal with love and life as any of your straight friends.

I hope this was helpful.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Friends that will not accept you for who you are, are not really friends. I always encourage everyone to live openly and be themselves. There is one big exception to this advice, however. If you are financially dependent on your parents and they will have a difficult time with it and could throw you out of the house, wait. Work to get yourself able to support yourself and come out at that time. Homelessness is not a good thing.

This is pretty much what I was going to say.

I never had the chance to "come out" as I clearly had gay tendencies from the beginning, at least that's my father's opinion. My father was a very traditional Korean immigrant and did his best to "shame me straight" throughout my youth. I ended up emancipating at 16.

If your parents are going to react badly? Wait. Wait until you're on your own and can support yourself without their assistance. I know you might want a boyfriend and be frustrated with the lack of one, but the fact is, getting yourself on your feet and your stability in life is more important and HARD to achieve without parental assistance. It can happen, but it's a lot more difficult.

[GayHighSchooler]

I already told my mom and I don't think she will dissown me or anything. The problem is that don't think that she thinks I'm serious. I think she thinks that I am just going through a phase and I'll get over it. She keeps making suggestions of girls to date and stuff and I'm kind of confused because I already told her. She said "how do you know your gay if you haven't had sex yet?". You don't have to have sex to know that I'm gay. She doesn't get it.... But I'm more worried about myself at this point and I don't think that she will throw me out, like 99.9% sure she won't.
But anyway, a lot of my friends are kinda religious and I don't want to be that guy that doesn't really have any friends. You guys know how high school is... everyone picks on everyone for everything.
I just want to be myself

[Sharkspeare]

I already told my mom and I don't think she will dissown me or anything. The problem is that don't think that she thinks I'm serious. I think she thinks that I am just going through a phase and I'll get over it. She keeps making suggestions of girls to date and stuff and I'm kind of confused because I already told her. She said "how do you know your gay if you haven't had sex yet?". You don't have to have sex to know that I'm gay. She doesn't get it.... But I'm more worried about myself at this point and I don't think that she will throw me out, like 99.9% sure she won't.
But anyway, a lot of my friends are kinda religious and I don't want to be that guy that doesn't really have any friends. You guys know how high school is... everyone picks on everyone for everything.
I just want to be myself

No one here can make your decision for you, but you knew that when you posted. But I will say that nowadays I keep hearing about guys in very conservative areas with conservative friends who are astonished by how warm and accepting their friends turned out to be. Bottom line: if they care about you, it doesn't really matter what gets you off.