How to break up with my long time partner without hurting him?

[AlfredM]

I think you owe it to him to at least try couple counselling. 7 years of relationship definitely deserves that.

[Anonymous]

Yes, he told something about couples counselling too, probably I'll do it for him so that he'd maybe feel more peaceful. Although I don't understand what exactly happens there - somebody trying to put into our heads that we're right each for other?

It might sound unbelievable, but I really never wanted to hurt him. I just told the the truth, the truth about my feelings and how I feel about being with him.

[AlfredM]

As far as I know,counselor rarely suggest things to you,they've always tried to bring the solution from within yourself. So instilling the idea that you both belong together? I don't think so. Most probably he/she is gonna dig what is it could be the cause of you falling out of love. I believe that you don't want to hurt him,and sometimes the truth is over rated,but now that it's out,you could take the next step together with him. I wish you both the best.

[East]

Yes, he told something about couples counselling too, probably I'll do it for him so that he'd maybe feel more peaceful. Although I don't understand what exactly happens there - somebody trying to put into our heads that we're right each for other?

It might sound unbelievable, but I really never wanted to hurt him. I just told the the truth, the truth about my feelings and how I feel about being with him.

Based solely on what you have said here so far....I do believe you when you say that you don't love him.

Initially I thought maybe you hadn't considered the actual nature of relationships and the famous "seven year itch"....but I'm not sure that is the problem now. I think it might be something entirely different.

[Bhp91126]

This thread makes me incredibly sad. There are so many single guys on here, hoping to find a bf to love and be loved in return, who'd fight to their teeth to protect the relationship and you would just as soon throw it away. That you wouldn't even consider any kind of counseling before dropping the bomb on him, makes me feel very sorry for your bf. he deserves better than that.

LOVING RELATIONSHIPS DONT GROW ON TREES AND NEED TENDER LOVING CARE TO RUN SMOOTHLY, HOPEFULLY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

[Anonymous]

I will attend couples counselling with him, he wants that and I'll do it for him. Of course, I could continue this relationship but then it would be just because so I don't break his heart. Relationships out of pity is not what he wants, I'm sure. I know I sound like a monster to you all but thousands of couples break up and no one dies from that.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

At the end of the day its not our right to judge whether you did or didn't make the right decision, or give the relationship time to recover.

The decision was yours to make, and you have made it.

As I mentioned in one of my earlier replies to your original post, there was always going to be someone who would be hurt in this break up, and it was clearly going to be him.

What I will say is that his reaction is perfectly understandable and normal in the circumstances, and perhaps until you are on the hurt end of a breakup you don't fully realise that.

I would caution against coming back to this thread to criticise and question his actions, as I suspect for the more mature members amongst us, who have (unfortunately) been in his situation, you will only serve to piss everyone off and end up getting a load of abuse, intentionally or otherwise.

You've had a lot of advice from members and made your own decision which you are of course perfectly entitles to do. The purpose of the original thread has been met.

I would suggest locking this thread (as the OP you can also lock the thread so no more comments can be posted) to prevent the torrent of responses your going to get....

Good Luck,

ObW
X

[AlfredM]

I would suggest locking this thread (as the OP you can also lock the thread so no more comments can be posted) to prevent the torrent of responses your going to get...

I agree,but this thread was started as anonymous,how do you lock it again?

[BobInTampa]

i'm calling SHENANAGANS! SOMETHING HAS CHANGED that's prompted your change of heart. Be it a job, money - SOMETHING!

After 7 years you don't just get "bored" with someone you were 100% in love with. So, please be honest with us and tell us what's going on? Did he gain/lose weight? Did he do - or NOT - do something? Drugs? Booze? Porn? Become lazy, unresponseive? WHAT?

[Anonymous]

For the person above me - I cannot answer you, because I don't know the answer myself. I don't know what happened.