I feel terrible, and I hate myself for it.

[AlfredM]

I don't think there's anything wrong with being a hopeless romantic,but if you have early expectations even before the relationship grows,I think your expectation is gonna be hard to be met. And not everybody know how to be romantic on the spot,so you might have to teach him what you're looking for,and hopefully he's willing to learn.

[Uneunsae]

I'm most definitely a hopeless romantic, too. You're not alone in that.

[meninlove]

I'm most definitely a hopeless romantic, too. You're not alone in that.

Hopeless romantics, both of us.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Just to be clear folks, while I do have many similar feelings I did not start this thread.



Anonymous,

Low self esteem is talking in all of that. If people are saying something that sounds nothing like you its not because they are the ones who are blinded by self esteem issues.

I personally am accused of being a 'good man' - I never feel it, never relate to it. I do, however have a few decades of therapy under my belt and my therapists (plural - this old elf needs lots of help) tend to agree with all of those others. If a professional tells you something based on their professional opinion you just have to go with it.

To a point we all are seeking to depend upon another human being for our happiness. It is what humans are hardwired for. And all of that hard wiring is to insure the survival of the DNA. And in truth, most people are, in general terms, happier in a relationship than being single.

If you are at the point where you are calling for help (starting this thread is a call for help) then its time to seriously consider getting a therapist.

I think there are issues here, and they are most likely not as bad as you think they are. A therapist will help you to understand you better, and if you need tools to cope, or deal with or even chance some behaviors a therapist can come up with suggestions and you can find your life tools that work best for you.

Furthermore, I think a therapist will be able to see your 'problem' and tell you if you are falling within nominal parameters of human experience or if you are crazy.

Understand, most humans wear masks. We all have fears, self esteem issues, a desire to pair off and find that one special person that completes us. We all get lonely. Sure, most of us won't say anything, slap on a happy face and pretend to be doing just fine. Its human nature to be a great pretender.

What you have listed as issues may not be issues at all. This may be nothing extraordinary - stuff like this can be a disorder if its over powering.

But if people are saying all those nice things about you, most likely you don't have a 'disorder' and are just painfully, acutely and incurably human.

[50Plus]

From my perspective, you are normal.

If there is ever the need to talk, we are just a PM away.

[supasyd]

we all underrate ourselves. The most confident people you see probably get home and cry. The best way to look at it is; your perception of yourself will always be through a dodgy lens, and so it's not really for you to judge!!

[ETOTE]

Tons of useful info in this thread.
Hopefully Anonymous, you will use some of it and put it into practice in your life.

Being romantic or desiring romance is not immaturity, it is normal for pretty much almost everyone.

[Anonymous]

Thank you guys. I've been spending the past few weeks thinking, and writing( I write my own stories) , and I've been feeling a lot more better about myself. I greatly appreciate everyone's support.

[AeolianRage]

I feel for you. I understand exactly how you feel. I've been out for a couple years and haven't found a guy to date. When I talk to people about it, I hear the same things you've heard.

So I posted on here looking for some advice. And you know what - I got some. There are some great guys on here that we're willing to sympathize and offer me suggestions. I'm not completely turned around but I have hope. Keep your head up and just try getting out there. Don't pressure yourself to find someone. Pressure yourself to let loose and just enjoy having fun. The guy will see you having the time of your life and then you'll find him

[wayward]

I am glad I found this thread. Sometimes I feel really vulnerable, and I am sure that is a relatable experience for plenty of us. There are times when I dream of getting swept off my feet, but nothing's stuck. I flinch to think of my last romantic misadventure: unreliable, manipulative, coercive. The other hand is the list of my flaws: being undisciplined, unwise... I won't go on.

It's perhaps funny, what anon has been posting could have come from my mouth (or keyboard) at any time.