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I keep telling people how I'm against hooking up,but I can't help but keep getting pulled into one. I'm in my early 20s,still a virgin,virgin to the point of never kiss,never been on a date,nop,nothing. So I almost hired an escort tonight,a very good looking one,cause I figure out my first time might as well be with a hot guys. Not that I could get one in normal circumstances cause I'm not exactly fit. But thanks god I didn't go through. Well,I can't afford it anyway,I'm still studying. Another thing that I did was changing my profile on dating apps with NSA/Hook up ticked on 'looking for' option. Every time I feel horny to the point a porn just won't do it,I do this. I never follow through though,cause as in the title,I feel like a hypocrite. Also,I'm afraid of STDs mostly,and I'd always prefer a sex with someone I love than a random strangers,but the itch won't go away. I feel a bit disgusted with myself cause I've always try to be on high moral ground (not that those who do NSA are immoral),but I keep getting lured down. I'm just afraid that one day I might follow through cause of my lust. I know that at my age the hormone is raging,but I just don't want it to take over myself and then I do something that I'll regret. Sorry for the rant,just need to let it go. :frown:
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Btw,I've actually contacted this escort before,but I contacted this time again to get more revealing pictures of him,and I got it. :tongue: Ok,I feel so naughty now.
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He actually offered me a discounted price after I said I can't afford it. I felt bad for wasting his time,so I just apologized,well,not that he had any customer tonight,his words.
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I'm a : Single Gay Man
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There is a good bit of difference between a hypocrite who takes a stance or acts on a matter and an indecisive newbie with low self esteem and little confidence.
If you are interested in having sex, educate yourself about how to do it safely and responsibly and go for it.
I bid NO Trump!
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I also get tempted for casual sex even though I'm not a fan of it. I think that's normal. I've done the thing with making a profile, then taking it down the next day.
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LJay Wrote:There is a good bit of difference between a hypocrite who takes a stance or acts on a matter and an indecisive newbie with low self esteem and little confidence.
If you are interested in having sex, educate yourself about how to do it safely and responsibly and go for it.
You got that from what I wrote? Well,yeah,I do educate myself,but the way I see it,random hook up will always pose STD risk no matter how safe you go. I wonder how people make sure the other guy is clean without actually getting tested,which is of course isn't ideal for a hook up.
Uneunsae Wrote:I also get tempted for casual sex even though I'm not a fan of it. I think that's normal. I've done the thing with making a profile, then taking it down the next day.
Pretty much what I do. I just feel like every time I do it,it's getting more real,and I might actually do
it one day. Over thinking much?
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Yeah, I think that's what LJay meant by "indecisive" and he's thinking we have low self-esteem because we don't just go for it. For me, that might be part of the issue, but it's more that I need some connection when I have sex and also fear of being attacked, raped, etc. (I was abused a lot in the past).
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Well...A lot of the people who stand on "high moral ground"...they fall the farthest...because they have a lot farther to fall. It's a rule more than an exception.
Maybe adjust that a bit so you don't beat yourself up so much or feel bad. Don't look at it as stepping "down"...maybe stepping a bit to the left?...
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Thinking that hook-ups aren't a good idea is "high moral ground"? That's a bit extreme, isn't it?
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I feel like a hypocrite
