Update - Crush with Boyfriend
06-07-2014, 03:18 PM
Hi Everyone,
I met a guy at a friend's birthday party out of town in March, he and I connected there, but only briefly. He was sending some strong signals (long looks across the room, immediate add of me on Facebook, etc.) but after I got home our communication slowed down. I also found out that he entered into a relationship with a guy in mid-April. I decided then that I wouldn't actively pursue this guy, assuming that I had misread his signals. But, I didn't cut off communication since he hadn't done anything wrong.
I had made plans to go to an event that he was going to be attending (before our meet up in March) and last weekend I went to the event. Knowing he has the BF I didn't want to overstep my bounds, and the boyfriend was not with him at this event. On Saturday we were all in the pool and I had gotten out to go the bathroom. On my way back, he with great fanfare, called me over and talked to me for over an hour. The only reason that we ended the conversation was that it was dinner time and his group had already asked him twice to get out of the pool and my own group was bugging me. On Monday morning as we were getting ready to leave he made it a point to ask where my friends and I were going to breakfast and had it not been for some odd table logistics, I think he would have sat beside me, he kept trying to listen to what I was saying, even though other conversations were going on. When we went to leave he gave me two long, squeezing hugs (not the friend hug) and even took a glance back as he was walking away.
After I got back, I sent him a message telling him that I was glad he and I talked and he sent back a glowing message about how great it was to talk to me etc. I sent back another message but have not yet gotten a response (that was on Wednesday).
So, I'm all confused. I like this guy, he's smart, he's my type, he's into my scene, etc., but he's several states away and he has a boyfriend. I can't make heads or tails of his signals and I just don't know how to make a better connection online. Should I just be forceful and send him "hey, how ya doin'?" messages? Or should I just give him his space and ignore it? I don't want to hurt anyone, so I'm not into trying to break him and his boyfriend up but dammit, if that relationship was to end I want to be in a position that he at least knows a bit about me. This is probably the crush talking, but I would pick up and move my entire life right now if he asked, so I'm beyond smitten.
Does anyone have any advice? My gut is telling me to just wait it out and leave it be, but my head and heart are telling me to at least be strategic. But I'm lousy at this kind of stuff, and I don't want to make things awkward. HELP!
I met a guy at a friend's birthday party out of town in March, he and I connected there, but only briefly. He was sending some strong signals (long looks across the room, immediate add of me on Facebook, etc.) but after I got home our communication slowed down. I also found out that he entered into a relationship with a guy in mid-April. I decided then that I wouldn't actively pursue this guy, assuming that I had misread his signals. But, I didn't cut off communication since he hadn't done anything wrong.
I had made plans to go to an event that he was going to be attending (before our meet up in March) and last weekend I went to the event. Knowing he has the BF I didn't want to overstep my bounds, and the boyfriend was not with him at this event. On Saturday we were all in the pool and I had gotten out to go the bathroom. On my way back, he with great fanfare, called me over and talked to me for over an hour. The only reason that we ended the conversation was that it was dinner time and his group had already asked him twice to get out of the pool and my own group was bugging me. On Monday morning as we were getting ready to leave he made it a point to ask where my friends and I were going to breakfast and had it not been for some odd table logistics, I think he would have sat beside me, he kept trying to listen to what I was saying, even though other conversations were going on. When we went to leave he gave me two long, squeezing hugs (not the friend hug) and even took a glance back as he was walking away.
After I got back, I sent him a message telling him that I was glad he and I talked and he sent back a glowing message about how great it was to talk to me etc. I sent back another message but have not yet gotten a response (that was on Wednesday).
So, I'm all confused. I like this guy, he's smart, he's my type, he's into my scene, etc., but he's several states away and he has a boyfriend. I can't make heads or tails of his signals and I just don't know how to make a better connection online. Should I just be forceful and send him "hey, how ya doin'?" messages? Or should I just give him his space and ignore it? I don't want to hurt anyone, so I'm not into trying to break him and his boyfriend up but dammit, if that relationship was to end I want to be in a position that he at least knows a bit about me. This is probably the crush talking, but I would pick up and move my entire life right now if he asked, so I'm beyond smitten.
Does anyone have any advice? My gut is telling me to just wait it out and leave it be, but my head and heart are telling me to at least be strategic. But I'm lousy at this kind of stuff, and I don't want to make things awkward. HELP!
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