Being gay

[Iceblink]

Gay dating life is difficult and always has been. There are fewer of us and the man to man social interaction is a different dynamic than the man to woman social interaction. While it can be difficult to find someone, to be successful you have to keep looking and try to stay optimistic because an aura of negativity surrounding you can make you very unappealing to others.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

While I believe gay dating has become much easier, finding The One hasn't.

You need to kiss a few frogs to find the one that turns into the Prince.

As others have said, if your not happy in yourself, then you need to try and find out why that is and address the core issue before you even think about embarking on an LTR. If you have issues and confidence problems outside of a relationship that go unresolved, the chances are you will have them inside as well.

As for finding the one, they will usually find you, when your least expecting it

ObW
X

[Anonymous]

I'm 18 years old gay guy and I can't understand why I always get attention from men who are old enough to be my fathers. Every time I go to some gay club to meet some new people and just have fun, I'm always approached by some middle aged man who tries to get to know me. I like guys of my own age and I don't mean to insult anyone, but from my point of view, men in their 40ies and 50ies are old. We're completely different generations and I don't think we could have something in common.

Somehow it slowly starts to annoy me. I feel like I'll never be able to find a boyfriend, because guys of my age don't seem to pay any attention to me, older men is what they're looking for. Does it always happen like that - younger guys like older men and the other way round?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, wrong thread!

[novice]

I wasn't "unhappy & miserable" when in a relationship. My life otherwise wasn't perfect but life never is. One has to exist & function as they are at any given time. If you have to wait until you are 100% "happy" when would anyone date?? I was happier than I've been in years in my previous relationship & I don't think my level of confidence, etc. was the problem. I admittedly relied too heavily upon it as my main source of contentment. Even IF the rest of my life were great if I lonely or w/o a love interest I think I'd be very unfulfilled.

Also, in the gay dating world after age 35 your chances/options go way way way down (at least in the two places I've lived).

Tragic irony is - immediately after dating me people almost always go directly to their One (like clockwork - every time). So, I should be appealing to date just as a conduit to that. Great for them of course but soul crushing for me left with nothing every time.

[CellarDweller]

Not trying to be nosy, but could it be where you're finding the guys?

If you're picking them up in bars, they may not be the most reliable of daters.

[novice]

Not trying to be nosy, but could it be where you're finding the guys?
If you're picking them up in bars, they may not be the most reliable of daters.

Yes, I think you're right. Idk where to find guys for friends or dates or w/e - big part of the problem. That's just step 1 - then comes two people both wanting the same things AND being into each other - which from my limited experience & observation is exceedingly rare. More often it's two guys using each other for sex until one of them gets tired of the other. Won't be a popular opinion I know.

[artyboy]

Try being disabled too lmao!!!!

Shit happens is my saying!!

[Bluelight]

Aw... dude, I know

[artyboy]

Not trying to be nosy, but could it be where you're finding the guys?

If you're picking them up in bars, they may not be the most reliable of daters.

Even online dating can be dependent on what site you are using.