Hi guys,
My friend just broke up with his partner yesterday. And I brought him out to make him feel better.
But since I had never been in a relationship before, I'm not really sure how to console him.
i was just wondering....
How to know whether one is ready for a relationship?
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It sound like you're asking if you being his "rebound" would be a good idea.
In that case? God no. He needs time to heal, especially if you're wanting to have something lasting with him.
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Hmm.
I would have to say that no one is every really ready to be in a relationship.
Sure many want to be in a relationship, many are even getting involved, but ready for it? Doubtful.
Since humans possess near infinite diversity that can be combined in near infinite combinations, there is really no way for one to actually prepare to be with any given individual.
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Believe it or not you don't have to say or do anything to console him. Just be a friend and listen. Do things with him to help him move on with his life. Just be there whether he thinks he needs company or not.
As for 'knowing when you're ready" for a relationship, I don't know. I was no where near ready for one when I put eyes on "a guy" for the first time back in 2008. I knew real quick I had to get ready for a relationship if I was going to have a chance with him. It took 18 months for me to "get ready" and make him realize I was ready and that I was 100% serious. If I hadn't met him I'd probably still be single.
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If your friend has just broken up, what he probably needs now is a shoulder to cry on (maybe) or someone to listen to him rant, but probably not someone to fall in love with him... not just now. Like someone's death, a broken up relationship takes a while to mourn. Give him that free time to mourn. Depending on how shocking the breakup was, or whether he expected this to happen, it'll take more or less time for him to be ready for a new relationship. We are talking about a male friend, aren't we?
Are you interested in this person for a relationship, yourself? But, if he's a friend, you already have a relationship with him: that of a friend. Maybe wait a while before you declare your flame for him if you've been harbouring a secret love for him from afar...
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Don't risk getting involved with someone too soon out of a relationship. They & the dating may seem completely "normal" & "fine" at first only for it to come back & haunt you later. Sometimes much later. How to EVER really "know" when someone you want to date is over their ex OR how long to wait before dating them? I have no idea.
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