My sexual OCD is coming back

[Arkansota]

First of all, hi

I haven't been here in a few months

So um, I am having some anxiety about my sexuality again. For those of you who don't know, I am occasionally a little bicurious. But I've never felt the raw and organic attraction that guys give me. But when I look at a picture of a woman who has jiggling boobs, sometimes my, you know, gets bigger but not erect. But I am not really attracted to those women the same way I'm attracted to men and in my everyday life I don't feel drawn towards women.

I fear that I may be repressing a possible attraction to women, but I then realize that I haven't worried about this for months and even in my calm state I just don't feel attracted to women.

Does anyone have anything to say about this? It's a lot more anxiety provoking than you'd think but this time I guess I feel a little less panic-y because I've accepted that my thoughts are not rational.

And this time, I guess I could accept being bi. But I don't think I am. I really don't. I have done some self-therapy by creating dynamic bisexual characters for my Survivor fan fiction and using that to make myself feel more comfortable with bisexuality, because I am a bit biphobic.

[Uneunsae]

Maybe you just like breasts. There's nothing wrong with that. Don't read more into it than that. Just let things happen and go with the flow.

Some people have labels like "bisexual but gay romantic" but in all honesty, you shouldn't worry about labels. That's the cause of all your anxiety. You don't NEED labels. So breasts turn you on a little. So what? If you don't have attraction to women, don't date them. If you are attracted to just ONE girl someday, then that's okay, too!

So many gays are afraid that someone will revoke their "gay card". But I say, why do you need a gay card in the first place? You don't need validation of your sexuality from others. Those people are not your friends. Real friends accept you as you are.

[princealbertofb]

Hello Arkansota...
Most men like breasts, and you know why? It's probably because we were always attracted to the nurturing side of the organ... as babies, then as young children, they attract us because they mean food and comfort. It could be something very ancient coming back to the surface.

[princealbertofb]

Maybe you just like breasts. There's nothing wrong with that. Don't read more into it than that. Just let things happen and go with the flow.

Some people have labels like "bisexual but gay romantic" but in all honesty, you shouldn't worry about labels. That's the cause of all your anxiety. You don't NEED labels. So breasts turn you on a little. So what? If you don't have attraction to women, don't date them. If you are attracted to just ONE girl someday, then that's okay, too!

So many gays are afraid that someone will revoke their "gay card". But I say, why do you need a gay card in the first place? You don't need validation of your sexuality from others. Those people are not your friends. Real friends accept you as you are.

So well put, Uneunsae.... ( I still have trouble writing that name, lol).

[princealbertofb]

First of all, hi

I haven't been here in a few months

So um, I am having some anxiety about my sexuality again. For those of you who don't know, I am occasionally a little bicurious. But I've never felt the raw and organic attraction that guys give me. But when I look at a picture of a woman who has jiggling boobs, sometimes my, you know, gets bigger but not erect. But I am not really attracted to those women the same way I'm attracted to men and in my everyday life I don't feel drawn towards women.

I fear that I may be repressing a possible attraction to women, but I then realize that I haven't worried about this for months and even in my calm state I just don't feel attracted to women.

Does anyone have anything to say about this? It's a lot more anxiety provoking than you'd think but this time I guess I feel a little less panic-y because I've accepted that my thoughts are not rational.

And this time, I guess I could accept being bi. But I don't think I am. I really don't. I have done some self-therapy by creating dynamic bisexual characters for my Survivor fan fiction and using that to make myself feel more comfortable with bisexuality, because I am a bit biphobic.

I think your virtual personality could be quite different from the real you. I'm not sure doing that helps to understand how you are affected by your attractions to real life people. You'd really have to try something with a real person in real life to see how comfortable you are with either sex.

[Uneunsae]

So well put, Uneunsae.... ( I still have trouble writing that name, lol).

Haha, I'll have to keep giving you practice.

[princealbertofb]

Haha, I'll have to keep giving you practice.

OK? let's not hijack this thread, though... back to Arkansota's fears.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Considering your other issues, if this is this much of a problem that you have to ask others for help, then I strongly urge you to find a therapist Perhaps one who deals with OCD?

In truth the only person who can determine and tell you what your sexuality is is you. People differ wildly at times on what gay means, bi, straight - etc.

We each just pick a label and slap it on to fit the situation the best it can.

You you most likely need help in trying to ask yourself the right questions to find the answers that lead up to 'who am I?' being answered.

[TwisttheLeaf]

There's nothing wrong with liking tits but not being interested in sex with women. I was that way for quite a while when I was younger. Women were hot to look at, especially if they had certain physical characteristics I was particularly into.

Yet, I had NO urge to actually screw one.

I eventually -did- go that route, and found that there were certain 'hangups' involved with me screwing women. For example, I preferred doing it in the shower, because I found the 'messy' to be too much for me to deal with. (Either that or I had to shower right afterwards.) I also needed to always keep things very light. Lots of laughter and joking, fun and games, etc. I couldn't handle it being serious at all.

Exploring your sexuality takes time. Don't worry about labels so much as just figuring out what you enjoy... and what you don't. That's the important part. Labels are just window dressing.

[ChadCoxRox]

I'd be interested in reading your effort to articulate the concern more. How is the anxiety you are feeling a problem? Sometimes anxiety is not a problem. It's a little confusing though, not knowing you better. I am bisexual. Always have been, always will be. I like women and am sexually attracted to women. I prefer men and have no problem being gay (even though I was not able to admit and feel this way until after age 40). So knowing I'm gay (if that's the label best suited to support healthy, peaceful interpersonal interactions) and limiting discussion of the more accurate label of bisexual is just how the cookie crumbles. And I for one find crumbled cookies just as tasty as perfectly whole ones.

So if you tell us more you'll likely find more clarity. Define that anxiety from multiple points of view. Define the attraction further. Have you any interest, fun or titillation in having tits of your own? I don't mean to be rude or offensive, but it just flickered in my mind that thinking outside the box on the matter might reveal greater insight.