My sexual OCD is coming back

[Uneunsae]

I will tell you the truth - I will fantasize about girls sometimes. But I'm never attracted to them in RL. There aren't any that I've "checked out" or felt attraction to. I can't get any special feelings for them romantically, either. Sometimes fantasy is something totally different than reality and I think that's my thing. I'm open to whatever might happen in the future, though.

I think you can tell from the replies here that you are not alone.

[AlfredM]

I would look at some girls and want to touch their boobs,but that's it. They've never give me a boner,well maybe few times when I tried to be straight in the past,but not anymore. You might be sexually fluid,but does it really matter? If you like someone,that's just it,gender should not be a big issue.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Seriously Folks, with this one and his OCD, giving help ain't gonna help. He needs to see a doctor.

We have been down this road before.

[Arkansota]

I don't think that I'm bi because I don't feel the same organic pull towards women that I do with men. I just wanted to get this off my chest.

TMI-ISH INFO BELOW, IGNORE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT

It's also helpful to understand that I don't actually know if my you know what gets bigger when I look at women- The size of my you know what tends to be basically random in most situations so I'm actually not sure

What I tend to notice is that when I look at a woman sometimes I will notice a second later that my you know what is pretty large at that moment, but of course it takes more than a second to get to that point so it likely has nothing to do with the woman

BTW, I can only think of one time that I've been aroused by anything related to a woman and I was like 16 and it was just a sentence, not a picture or anything. But I have never, not once, desired sex with a woman. Oh, and one time I was a bit turned on by a video of a woman wearing shiny rubber leggings, at least I think. I'm not sure. The problem is, when I remember these things it's just terrifying to me.

But one time I did really enjoy looking at a picture of a vagina, even though it turned me off physically XD

I think maybe I am bicurious, I don't think I'm bisexual because I actually cannot get erect when I look at a woman. I just can't do it. I've tried everything but

END TMI-ISH INFO

For some reason, I have a really strong aversion to the idea of being attracted to women. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I'm thinking that this is a sign that I actually am gay because I was not taught to be disgusted by the idea of heterosexuality.

Here's a helpful article- I have the gay male version of what this describes

http://www.steveseay.com/hocd-homosexual...ientation/

[Arkansota]

yeah, it's back. Remembering the incident with the latex leggings really sent me into a panic.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Johnny,

You need to take this to a therapist and have him/her work with you to help you figure out who you are.

Spinning on the question only leads to anxiety.

[Arkansota]

Johnny,

You need to take this to a therapist and have him/her work with you to help you figure out who you are.

Spinning on the question only leads to anxiety.

I suppose I should. I have had suicidal thoughts (though not suicidal intentions) on this topic and I think I need help with it. But I don't think my parents would be receptive to me talking to them about meeting someone about this.

[Uneunsae]

I have OCD and, while my obsessions don't include my sexuality, I second Bowyn's advice to see a therapist. OCD can destroy our lives if we let it run rampant and, quite frankly, you don't deserve to live with this kind of anxiety every day.

[Arkansota]

I have OCD and, while my obsessions don't include my sexuality, I second Bowyn's advice to see a therapist. OCD can destroy our lives if we let it run rampant and, quite frankly, you don't deserve to live with this kind of anxiety every day.

I don't though. It comes up once every few months. But when it does, it's really, really bad.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

The distance between suicidal thoughts and suicidal action is way to small to not err on the side of caution.

I fail to understand how your parents can be less than understanding that you are seeking help. They know you better than anyone else and should be able to see that when you see that you need help that its time to get you that help.

You're legally an adult - for the most part, however health care is up to you to decide, not your folks. Its not like they can legally prevent you from seeking help.

I have told you in the past there are may tools available for a person with OCD to work through their issues. Finding those tools that work for you means therapy. Coupled with the other things you got going on its just to risky to do this hit and miss and take advice from just anyone.

Folk with suicidal thoughts often have other self-destructive tendencies that emerge from those thoughts.