I'm a big fat bully.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

No I don't bully I get even. Well actually I get one up... But seriously no, people will tell you that when I get serious I destroy people.

Yes I can be a very vindictive bitch, I can also me malicious, manipulative and steel your gold teeth without you knowing.

I have been those and many other things in the past. These are not my general characteristics, I usually tend to be far less vicious. Just don't push me...

[Pix]

I define bullying as a systematic and often predatory abuse that's meant to terrorize or destroy one's self-esteem. A guy who throws an occasional temper tantrum doesn't count. Someone with an attitude problem but doesn't actively seek others out to torment doesn't count (you may learn to avoid them but they shouldn't make you scared). A girl who doesn't like you and refuses to talk to you doesn't count. A guy having a bad day and lashing out (especially if in response to rude behavior or worse) doesn't count. A kid who shoves you once and you're not even sure it was intentional doesn't count. These may be asinine, it might even be shunning, but it's not bullying. I've experienced all these examples and it doesn't compare to real bullying.

Even hazing isn't bullying (I don't mean to include "hazing freshmen" with this, that IS bullying in my book) as it's actually a form of acceptance that the pledge or recruit knows is temporary and a gateway into an elite group and that then it will be his or her turn to dish it out to others without having to worry about it again (assuming they survive the hazing process, but one they often know the risks when they voluntarily submit to it).

And I dislike how glibly words like "bullies," "trolls" and "terrorists" and "nazis/commies" and the like are thrown about until they lose all meaning and frankly I automatically become skeptical when I hear the word used yet again, a word meant to express strong feeling over clear thought.

[Pix]

That said, if you're going to count all the stuff I don't then I haven't always been sweet either. I can look back on some of what I did as a kid and cringe, like when me and friends grabbed condoms and slipped them into purses for sale knowing the person who buys it will have it opened and searched at the register, the very thought of the scandal to follow in gossiping Texas was enough to make us laugh. Someone may have very well had her day ruined over it.

And when I was 14 an older boy on the bus asked if I ever worshiped Satan. I said, "Yeah, and I cast spells, so shut up." He did, turned away from me seeming frozen in terror and never talked to me again though the guy was bigger than I was. I laughed at his reaction which to him probably sounded like the laugh of the wicked witch, flagrantly displaying my Satanic powers (but still going to school for some reason, maybe I should've added something about being glad when I earned my broom to fly to school on). I then shared with family & friends who thought it was hilarious (though older members in my family scolded me for "feeding the fire"). That's the closest I can think of having a "bullying moment" (without realizing it) but frankly I think I just added some spice into his otherwise boring day and he WANTED me to put on a show for him, it kept the boredom of that rural town from becoming terminal. I don't know if anyone made fun of him over it or not (a lot of kids at that school thought I was a Satanist).

But I don't consider that bullying myself. If I started to torment him over it after that one time then it would've been.

And the things me and my cousin did to each other growing up....if you think someone shoving you once was bullying, I don't know what you'd have thought of what we did to each other. But we loved each other, didn't live in fear of each other, and we laugh about it today. Even where he nearly cost me an eye by shooting me with plastic pellets (as he was angry at Granny leaving me in charge when he was 3 years older and she told him it was because I had better sense than him), and I mean I was bleeding from the side of my head starting from my eye socket with my eye swelling up (though he was sorry for it when he realized what he'd done, he didn't even think to get scared of the whipping to come until a few minutes later). Bullying? Nope, not in my book, not even then (though he still earned the whipping he got from Granny over it).

[HumbleTangerine]

I'm really certain I never bullied anyone, but I did see others being bullied many times without doing anything about it which is just as bad; some people even think it's worse. Going through childhood as a gay individual was hard enough and I just didn't feel like I could handle bullies as well. I wonder if victims of bullying ever really manage to forgive their childhood demons. Like, as they grow up eventually and people change, does it ever cross their mind that their bully is now a decent human being or will they be forever hated for what they did as children?

[Eromir]

I used to be bully, for a while, back in high school. I did it, because I wanted to fit in with some of the cool people and they actually accepted me, because they though I was funny. Ironically, the people I bullied the most later became my best and longest-lasting friends. I still regret what I did and wonder how and why they forgave me for it.

[Cuddly]

I often think back to the terrible things I did. I made two girls' lives miserable for years and I am so very very sorry. I belittled them to feel better about myself, much like reality TV does.
I also felt the other end of the stick and I am glad. There was some justice in that.

[East]

I define bullying as a systematic and often predatory abuse that's meant to terrorize or destroy one's self-esteem. A guy who throws an occasional temper tantrum doesn't count. Someone with an attitude problem but doesn't actively seek others out to torment doesn't count (you may learn to avoid them but they shouldn't make you scared). A girl who doesn't like you and refuses to talk to you doesn't count. A guy having a bad day and lashing out (especially if in response to rude behavior or worse) doesn't count. A kid who shoves you once and you're not even sure it was intentional doesn't count. These may be asinine, it might even be shunning, but it's not bullying. I've experienced all these examples and it doesn't compare to real bullying.

Even hazing isn't bullying (I don't mean to include "hazing freshmen" with this, that IS bullying in my book) as it's actually a form of acceptance that the pledge or recruit knows is temporary and a gateway into an elite group and that then it will be his or her turn to dish it out to others without having to worry about it again (assuming they survive the hazing process, but one they often know the risks when they voluntarily submit to it).

And I dislike how glibly words like "bullies," "trolls" and "terrorists" and "nazis/commies" and the like are thrown about until they lose all meaning and frankly I automatically become skeptical when I hear the word used yet again, a word meant to express strong feeling over clear thought.

I agree...I am confused a lot now as I try to assimilate new information into my definition of things like "bully" or "troll" or "rape". I thought about it recently when someone insisted tickling was rape...tried to understand it..then it pissed me off because I would have much rather been tickled instead of being raped....

I am still not 100% clear on "troll".... I basically think they are just assholes who try to stir up shit with people for some reason I don't understand....

...and "bully"...the hardest one. I have heard people who try to raise awareness define it to the point where I think anything you do unkind to anyone else is bullying...and that diminishes what actual bullies do IMO.

[sillyboy86]

I was probably the opposite. I was the kind of kid you could abuse/bully, I was thin etc, but I had a very strong personality, so better for you if you don't bully me, cause there's a revenge... heheh.
I remember I used to support the weaker in my classroom, for example there was a girl very masculine and not smart, so the other girls were always harassing here. I was in the middle, defending her and being the hand of her revenge LOL. I helped her with some home-works (even if at math I was a shit LOL) and I was her friend.
I think today, over 15 years later, she's (but also her mom LOL) still overestimating me, LOL ...

I also remember another strange kid, he was really huge, tall and large, and he was very violent and irascible (I suppose he had some kind of disorder) and I was the one of the few playing with him, and also defending his crazy personality. "Why you have not invited him to play? He's also big and strong, he would be good!"
I was like "the intelligent who defends the weird/weak"...XD

I've always been a crazy horse LOL ... Don't play with my tiny but very hot fire.
Also I was friend to everyone, so you couldn't exclude or bully me. From the primary school to the high school I was the best friend of the more sporty guy in my class at that time... heheh (nice tastes, me! XD)

BUT.
Being a crazy horse I was restless, so I was always playing jokes to everyone. I was probably an hyperactive kid-teen. And many years after, a friend of mine sometimes is complaining about that. I remember I was annoying to her, and sometimes I find funny tease her even today, but sometimes I think "Was I that annoying? Why she remember these things so much?". She was and she is a good friend, she's one of the few people I really estimate, I only hope she's aware of this, today.
So... Sometimes I have this doubt.

I don't think I've been a bully, however, I have wondered over the years if I ever did anything that hurt someone.

I think isn't possible to didn't hurt someone. I'm the kind of person who used (and maybe I use) to put the others before himself, but I'm sure I've hurt someone, cause I'm not perfect. I learned that I cannot regret for this, I have to accept it and act better the next time. I'm sure you know.
;-)
Obviously I'm not talking about who I hurt intentionally, like during a fight etc.

[Uneunsae]

I define bullying as a systematic and often predatory abuse that's meant to terrorize or destroy one's self-esteem. A guy who throws an occasional temper tantrum doesn't count. Someone with an attitude problem but doesn't actively seek others out to torment doesn't count (you may learn to avoid them but they shouldn't make you scared). A girl who doesn't like you and refuses to talk to you doesn't count. A guy having a bad day and lashing out (especially if in response to rude behavior or worse) doesn't count. A kid who shoves you once and you're not even sure it was intentional doesn't count. These may be asinine, it might even be shunning, but it's not bullying. I've experienced all these examples and it doesn't compare to real bullying.

Even hazing isn't bullying (I don't mean to include "hazing freshmen" with this, that IS bullying in my book) as it's actually a form of acceptance that the pledge or recruit knows is temporary and a gateway into an elite group and that then it will be his or her turn to dish it out to others without having to worry about it again (assuming they survive the hazing process, but one they often know the risks when they voluntarily submit to it).

And I dislike how glibly words like "bullies," "trolls" and "terrorists" and "nazis/commies" and the like are thrown about until they lose all meaning and frankly I automatically become skeptical when I hear the word used yet again, a word meant to express strong feeling over clear thought.

As someone who was bullied every day throughout K-12, and I mean real severe bullying, I would like to emphasize this post. No one ever listened to me, I was never heard, not even by my teachers or parents, who all turned a blind eye, and if you think I'll ever forget about my experiences, you're wrong. No, I don't walk around with a grudge or chip on my shoulder, but I have been left with a lot of emotional scarring because of it.

[Cuddly]

As someone who was bullied every day throughout K-12, and I mean real severe bullying, I would like to emphasize this post. No one ever listened to me, I was never heard, not even by my teachers or parents, who all turned a blind eye, and if you think I'll ever forget about my experiences, you're wrong. No, I don't walk around with a grudge or chip on my shoulder, but I have been left with a lot of emotional scarring because of it.

How would you feel if one of those bullies contacted you today to apologize?