Gays and relationship roles.

[David3K]

So? That's their problem, yeah? Not mine. Not yours either unless you let it be.

There's plenty of people out there willing to disapprove or even be violently -against- just about anything in the world.

People need to be honest with what they -need- and -want- in a partner... and go for -that-, not what others say they need or should want, and not what others might approve of.

Live YOUR life, yeah? Not the life others think you should live.

I'm not talking about the spectators, I couldn't care less what others think of me. I'm talking about gays in dates or similar that reject this kind of dynamic right from the start, who bluntly say they'd never be in a relationship like this with anyone. That's what my original question is about.

[David3K]

Are you asking if there is such a thing as "working bear" + "houseboy twink" couples for example? Or what exactly was this thread about?
Sorry for being thick/daft, but I really don't understand what the debate is actually about.

Why so many gays are against or not attracted to the classic roles? It seems most gays I find want to live a liberal life, having a boyfriend or even husband but have the freedom to have sex with others, among other things. It seems gays want to be so different than straights that wont keep any of the classic values in an attempt to create their own rules. Whats the real reason of this? Where are the ones who do enjoy a more classic dynamic? I'm trying to avoid to set this as an exclusive D/S thing because to my eyes this could be applied to anyone.

[David3K]

I hate labels. I hate stereotypes. It should be 50/50. I don't like the whole masculine/feminine roles or the man/woman roles. It honestly just complicates things. As long as you are yourself, that's all that should matter. Do what makes you feel comfortable and don't sit there and pick labels for eachother or force yourself to be the "girl" in the relationship cause' he took the guy role. Both be guys. Be girls. It really doesn't matter.

OK youre deffinitely the kind of person Im talking about LOL. So many people like you in the gay world.

[Wardo94]

I'm very sorry for not fitting into someone else's mold. I'll consider it the next time my slob, of a hubby needs some cleaning in the house..

If anything, you should worry about the amount of gays that don't take relationships seriously! Some only go for sex. Then you have the ones that have these ridiculous fantasies played out that will never happen, which then prevents them from actually meeting someone of potential in the REAL world. And then, we have all of these stereotypes that we're supposed need to fit into to feel normal or useful. Including the fact that some parts of the world aren't so fond of us. These things cause' so many insecurities and create douchbags and people who don't love themselves, which will prevent them from handling a stable relationship.

[David3K]

I'm very sorry for not fitting into someone else's mold. I'll consider it the next time my slob, of a hubby needs some cleaning in the house..

If anything, you should worry about the amount of gays that don't take relationships seriously! Some only go for sex. Then you have the ones that have these ridiculous fantasies played out that will never happen, which then prevents them from actually meeting someone of potential in the REAL world. And then, we have all of these stereotypes that we're supposed need to fit into to feel normal or useful. Including the fact that some parts of the world aren't so fond of us. These things cause' so many insecurities and create douchbags and people who don't love themselves, which will prevent them from handling a stable relationship.

Are you talking about anyone in particular? Because I've only been in long term relationships and I have always been like this.

[Wardo94]

No. But I've only been in one serious relationship myself. It's pretty clear about the issues that most gays have. And it's really sad.

[David3K]

No. But I've only been in one serious relationship myself. It's pretty clear about the issues that most gays have. And it's really sad.

So you've been in 1 serious relationship and now you know all the issues most gays have. Right

[Wardo94]

When I did I say that I've made the assumption out of one relationship? Go on dating apps. Go to gay bars. Yeah, there are good guys. I didn't say there aren't. But there are a good amount of those aren't taking shit seriously or they're too fucked up themselves to even consider a relationship.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I'm not talking about the spectators, I couldn't care less what others think of me. I'm talking about gays in dates or similar that reject this kind of dynamic right from the start, who bluntly say they'd never be in a relationship like this with anyone. That's what my original question is about.

Ahh ok. Well I'd say then that they aren't a good fit, yeah? Not if that's what you're looking for.

But the fact is, not all gays are of that opinion. Not all gay men are adamantly 50/50 types. It might not seem like they're out there, but they are.

[Trollileo]

Dude, no....