Gays and relationship roles.

[Bhp91126]

Dude, no....

Methinks the lady doth protest too much

[Cuddly]

Why so many gays are against or not attracted to the classic roles? It seems most gays I find want to live a liberal life, having a boyfriend or even husband but have the freedom to have sex with others, among other things. It seems gays want to be so different than straights that wont keep any of the classic values in an attempt to create their own rules. Whats the real reason of this? Where are the ones who do enjoy a more classic dynamic? I'm trying to avoid to set this as an exclusive D/S thing because to my eyes this could be applied to anyone.

Classic roles? We don't get pregnant, so our classic roles are the same as a straight couple without young children. Two careers. I don't want the freedom to have sex with others. I want the classic values, but I have no uterus and neither does my husbear. Generalisations are always bs and I am always puzzled when they come from homosexuals.

[David3K]

Classic roles? We don't get pregnant, so our classic roles are the same as a straight couple without young children. Two careers. I don't want the freedom to have sex with others. I want the classic values, but I have no uterus and neither does my husbear. Generalisations are always bs and I am always puzzled when they come from homosexuals.

No. Many gays dont want to have ANYTHING to do with classic heterosexual roles. Children have nothing to do with this. And don't forget gays could adopt.

[David3K]

Dude, no....

Try using this

[JimmyEcho]

No roles, jut being ourselves. we were just 2 guys being with each other.
There was no wife in our relationship. Just 2 guys who liked hiking, skiing, watching movies.
I liked the way Wardo94 put it.
But I do believe in an exclusive relationship (nothing wrong with being gay and having values)
Gee I wonder why hiv is up 37% in the past 3 years among the Gay community.ck:

[yourname]

No. Many gays dont want to have ANYTHING to do with classic heterosexual roles. Children have nothing to do with this. And don't forget gays could adopt.

Man, you're trollin' hard with this one. [yawn]

[Uneunsae]

OP,

I get what you're saying and I understand why you're asking these questions.

Just as there is homophobia, there is also heterophobia. It runs rampant through the LGBT community.
Yes, there are couples who live honestly the way they've chosen - not because it does or does not fit some notion of what society deems as normal. They are living authentically in one of millions of possible arrangements and lifestyles.

Then there are others who absolutely abhor anything "heteronormative" simply because they hate it or it makes them feel threatened and insecure. They want the world to be painted in rainbow colors. They're the ones that say, "OMG straight people are SO gross!" They've forgotten that fighting for civil rights means fighting for all human beings to live in the manner they deem fit for themselves - not to force anyone into any type of lifestyle.

And it really has nothing to do with being gay. I've found that most people want to be different just for the sake of it. And once they find their "great cause" they turn their nose up at anyone who doesn't fit their idea of an acceptable lifestyle, while chanting "equality" all the while.

You cannot reason with these people and they will not listen to you. But that doesn't matter. You CAN find men who desire the same type of lifestyle you do. And that goes for everyone. D/s, 50/50, 70/30 (and I'm sorry, I don't know many terms), LOL whatever is comfortable for you, GO FOR IT! There is someone else out there who will agree and you'll feel natural together.

You'll only beat your head against a brick wall if you keep asking, "Why are X people against my lifestyle?" because there will ALWAYS be people out there who think what you're doing is stupid. Some people will just insult you because you're in a vulnerable position once you've asked their opinion. Instead, take that energy and devote it to your life and shaping it to be what you desire. Worrying about others will leave you bitter and resentful of the world.

We have to stand up for equality and the RIGHT TO CHOOSE. That's what matters.

[Pix]

Why so many gays are against or not attracted to the classic roles? It seems most gays I find want to live a liberal life, having a boyfriend or even husband but have the freedom to have sex with others, among other things. It seems gays want to be so different than straights that wont keep any of the classic values in an attempt to create their own rules. Whats the real reason of this? Where are the ones who do enjoy a more classic dynamic? I'm trying to avoid to set this as an exclusive D/S thing because to my eyes this could be applied to anyone.

Gay guys like GUYS, not chicks. So they're attracted to guys, not femmes. Generally speaking, of course, some don't care as long as you got the equipment, pheromones, etc. And not all gays are sluts, though I think you'll see a lot more of it because there's a lot less social forces preventing it (as in women who want to nest and tend to expect "commitment" more than a man, but also society preventing marriage which also prevents people from "settling down").

On top of that there's a "boy code" that affects even many gay men which says a man isn't supposed to be too effeminate, and they can crush such tendencies in themselves and not want to be seen with men who don't do the same. And others just have the misguided notion that if gay men "acted like men" that they'd then be accepted by those who hate them (ha!). And to adopt a "submissive housewife" role is seen as degrading and can also be hard for such a guy to give respect to another man who does that, which can make it hard to commit to that guy.

Finally, many men feel that "housework doesn't count as real work." It damn well should since many people couldn't afford professional help that does all that. Nevertheless, it's "not counted" and thus when a man stays at home another gay man (and even plenty of women who should know better) feel that such a man is taking advantage of the sitch and being carried by the partner (that is, the "housewife" is using him).

I'm pretty sure you're also exaggerating the number of the guys you describe (and btw, just because someone is into "50/50" doesn't mean he's a slut who can't commit) as plenty of people in the gay community do lean toward "classic roles" just as many straight people have become more "liberal" (granted, it's rare to find it like in Leave it to Beaver, but that's just as true among straights as well). But sometimes all it takes is one person to criticize for another person to feel the entire world is coming down on them (and never mind those who are supportive and the vast majority who just don't care), and in this case when you'd have a lot of guys not having compatible interests as you then I can see how it seems to be 99%+.

And interesting choice in your phrase of "create your own rules." But they have the right to seek their own happiness as much as you seek yours.

[LJay]

I don't think it is unfair to ask how many straight couples adopt so called classic roles.

My parents would have looked pretty close to it from the outside, but my mother always had a separate income that she indulged in. Granted, she did use almost all of it for the family, but she was a rather independent person, especially later in life.

I know straight couples who are "conventionally" married that are in fact separate entities under one roof.

What I am getting at is that the classic roles are, more often than we think, a fiction. some gay couples choose to live that way, but others are simply frank about their variations of it. I think some, not all, of the ones who object to the conventional straight roles are merely expressing that they have not really seen it work, so they are not going to try that model.

As marriage equality is established, we have to face the evolution of marital styles more openly. It will take some adjusting, but it will happen.

[Pix]

This gay couple seems fairly popular while also being committed and leaning toward a classic role (without being Leave it to Beaver extreme about it), and I don't mean by the horny trying to pick them up either but plenty who admire what they've made for themselves:

https://www.youtube.com/user/depfox