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I hate his talking dirty to me
#1
My boyfriend and me, we’re together for four months now and basically I could say I feel really good in these relationships. He’s a very nice guy and although we’re not together for a long time yet, I feel very good with him.

However a problem has appeared in our relationships and it’s about sex. He has began to talk dirty to me, which I dislike very much. The first time it happened at some night when we were having sex and suddenly he just asked „you like that, don’t you, bitch?” I was like „what did you say” and my mood was totally down in the same moment. The same night he also slapped my butt, lightly, but still it was very unpleasant to me. The next morning I told him I didn’t like what happened last night, his words and his actions. He apologized to me and he said he just happened to say that. We both agreed that he won’t do that again. However the next time we made love it did it again,only then he called me a slut and made other comments that I won’t write here. When I talked about it the next day, he apologized again. But what’s the point of it? He apologizes and then does the same again the next time.

I know some people get turned on by words like these, but definitely not me. In fact, for me there could be no bigger turn-off. Usually he calls me baby, why couldn’t he do that in bed as well? That would be nice and I’d appreciate that a lot. I’m his boyfriend after all and I want to be treated with love, not like some prostitute from the railway station. He says that he just gets carried away with passion and tells me not to pay attention to something he says that I don't like. Yes, of course, I could tolerate that for him, but then it would eventually lead to the end of our relationships. Because once I’m being called in some disgracing word, I cannot enjoy sex anymore, I could as well turn my back to him and go to sleep.

We've talked many times about it and it seems that he believes it's not big deal. But it is for me. I want to have a good sex with someone who doesn't treat me like a whore. He's very good person and I'm satisfied with him in everything and I was also satisfied in bed before he started this. What would you advice me?
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#2
Your problem stems from waiting to talk to him about it the next day. If your bf is doing something that you find demeaning during sex, stop having sex instantly, and right at that moment tell him why. He will get the message a lot sooner. Stop having sex at the moment you get turned off. You don't owe him sex when you're not into it.
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#3
One of my boyfriends did this to me and I hated it too...I told him immediately that it wasn't gonna work for me...

Tell him that it bothers you ASAP....
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#4
My 1st thought is that either he's living out a S&M porn fantasy or learned that type of stuff from a really weird set of parents. I don't see anything sexy about talking like that..... and me and my guy do some nasty talking before during and after sex. In fact most of it is so loud you'd think we were arguing if you heard it.... or we're laughing as much as talking dirty. I mean sometimes there just aren't enough G-rated words to use to express what's going on!!!!! Then there's the spontaneousness of it. You can say things during sex that sound so great but if you heard them in a porn tape you'd crack up.

Favorite lines from my guy
"HARDER! HARDER! if you don't do it harder I'll smack the sh** out of you and shoot off on your face!!!"
"STOP WORRYING ABOUT HOLDING MY LEGS UP just F**K me like they're not there!!!"

The best... Me driving, him doing everything he could to get me horned up to the max.
I told him when I got him home I was going to F**k him til the cows came home (just an old expression)
We came in the door and I was dragging him to the bed... did the nasty & everyone was happy.
He sat up, opened the curtains peeked out and grinned, "oh sh** no cows yet. I'm in big big trouble."

Stuff like that adds to the fun of sex. namecalling is a bit weird (IMO)
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#5
Bleh. Sound like you want to be "made love to". [eyeroll] (Sorry, but soooooo not my thing.) Give me a hard-pounding dude so lost in his lust he's swearing like a trucker any day of the week. Yes I'm a slut for your dick....yes, I want it. There are no wrong ways to stick that thing in me (and if you find one, I'll let ya know). I'm a horny bitch? --you know it, fucker. As long as you don't refer to my ass as a "pussy", we're probably good to go.

....unless you get all emotional/touchy-feely on me. No bigger boner kill than some dude putting on Celine Dion thinking he's gonna rock my world with slow gentle kisses. I'm a guy....don't fuck me like you're taking the virginity of a 15yo porcelain doll of a girl. 'Cos I'll just get up and leave if my top starts treating me like some prissy fragile thing he can break. I came here to be used like a human FleshJack....not to have my masculinity insulted like that, lol. Wink

He's not for you. Do both of you a favour and set him free.
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#6
Camfer Wrote:Your problem stems from waiting to talk to him about it the next day. If your bf is doing something that you find demeaning during sex, stop having sex instantly, and right at that moment tell him why. He will get the message a lot sooner. Stop having sex at the moment you get turned off. You don't owe him sex when you're not into it.

Very much this^^^

Also, if you don't want to do anything quite so drastic, just put your dick or a couple of fingers in his mouth, so he shuts up. Ball-gags, dirty underwear and socks work as well.

Also, ask him what he gets from his dirty talk. Maybe you can work something out with him, so it's not quite as shocking for you anymore.

Personally I really hate dirty talk and have stopped playtime several times when someone wouldn't shut up.
Bernd

Being gay is not for Sissies.
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#7
Wanting rough vs. gentle sex has nothing to do with whether or not you're a man or a woman. lol

OP, if he loves you, he should not want to make you feel uncomfortable. I agree with letting him know during sex.
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#8
My feelings, my wants, my needs....

What about his?

You two need to compromise, which means that occasionally he will make love to you and on other occasions you two will fuck like animals.

I assure you if you can't reach a compromise and both get a little of what you want and give a little of what the other wants, this will eventually lead to one of you seeking what you want in some other bed.
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#9
When it happens, just say, " when you talk like that it turns me off."
I bid NO Trump!
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#10
Meh, life is too long for either of you to have bad sex. Really, there just aren't enough eyerolls in the world for this. Prisses and grunts don't mix....never have; never will. Go find yourself another priss to fill your bed with rose petals....you can spend all day feeding each other chocolate fondue'd strawberries while you point at shapes in the clouds. Leave him for someone like me....someone who likes to fuck like bulls in rut, while pets run and hide under whatever furniture they think offers safety. Smile
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