My brother used to have severe anxiety and did something similar to your awkward smile. In stressful situations, he would start laughing. For instance, I told him that our uncle had died, and he started to laugh. He witnessed a serious auto accident, and started to laugh. Obviously, people didn't react well. He had never had a girlfriend - women thought he was an insensitive jerk. Eventually, he got to the point of isolating himself and avoiding people, and he was truly miserable.
He had seen a couple therapists who tried to analyze his problem and discover it's roots, and that didn't help at all. But then he saw a behavioral therapist - one who focused on dealing with his actual behaviors in a common sense way - and she worked wonders for him. Like others have said, he wasn't "cured" - but he learned a set of specific measures to control his anxiety.
His life is a lot better these days.
Anxiety like this can be crippling, but the right therapist can make all the difference.
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I'm in same boat if that helps :p good to know similar people etc.
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Try going out to some public place once a day, every day. If you have some understanding person to go with you that might help but since you want to be able to do by yourself eventually you might be better off doing alone. even if it's in & out of a store for 5 min.'s. The more times you do this & the more you vary the places you the more comfortable it will become. Each outing will "build" your confidence that you can be out in public w/o as much anxiety. It may not get "comfortable" (though it may become so) but it will gradually easier & easier.
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My SO also suffers from anxiety and has a real hard time whenever there is a gathering at work if its more than 2 people. Its really storage, because he goes to music concerts all the time and it doesn't seem to impact him.
He can't walking to meeting at work with out getting nervous, sweating palms, feeling sick and headaches. In fact he plans his work around any meetings and usually takes a day off work if he knows in advance about one.
He's had some hypnotherapy which seems to have worked a little, but I think its something he will have to live for the rest of his life.
ObW
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To echo what others have said. Find a therapist, the right therapist, a good therapist who will get to the root cause of the anxiety and help you face some things, learn to accept some things and teach you some coping skills to better deal with the cause of the anxiety.
Psychotherapists have worked for me. Saw a very good one for several years as a teen who was more of a mentor to me than anything. He helped keep me sane, face many things I wanted to forget and kept me out of juvenile detention, prison and from offing myself.
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The world is FULL of wonderful and amazing things and people... don't let ANYTHING (Including yourself) hold you back from experiencing as much of it as you can.
Anxieties are like when you were a kid, and believed there were monsters/boogey men under the bed, or in the closet. As most fears are, they're in your head. There should be a rational side in there somewhere screaming, "It's NOT real!!!". Listen to that voice. Believe it. Uncage it from the depths it's been locked and let it speak up.
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I've always suffered anxiety too....I get it quite severely and all the time BUT eIveryone who knows me always comments on how extroverted and confident i am....you just have to throw yourself in sometimes...The people who are really close to you can get to see your anxieties and insecurities, and if they really care about you they won't care, and will be supportive. The only boundaries in life are the ones we set ourselves! (although I often suck at following my own advice!!) If anyone ever needs a friend or some advice on this issue they can message me because anxiety is something i'm rather familiar with!!
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Thanks for your posts guys. Really appreciate that. Now, I have the hope and confidence to approach the therapist. For a start, I have fixed an appointment to consult the therapist next week. Hopefully, the therapist and I can work together to improve my situation.
mile:
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Aries
