Anxiety is holding me back

[meninlove]

Anonymous, when I was 20 my social anxiety was so bad that when I went out I often carried two extra shirts in a knapsack because I could sweat out a shirt in ten minutes - from the armpits right down to the waist. Ah the miracles of anxiety and adrenaline, ugh.
I remember one particular day I was on a bus (trolley type, with over head connectors to electrical cables) and going through an intersection, the overhead connector rods disconnected so the power went out in the bus and the driver had to reconnect the overheads. Well, I had one massive panic attack, felt sure everyone on the bus was looking at me, and thought OK this is it, I give up, I'm just going to go crazy right here and fall down on the bus floor and spasm or scream or froth.

.....3 minutes went by........5 minutes went by.....7 minutes went by......the bus's lights came back on and the driver came back in and we continued. 15 minutes went by and I slowly realized that nothing was going to happen other than getting off at my stop. That was the beginning of my turn-around. Help from a therapist and a couple of books helped, but in the end it all came down to me.