Revenge feels so good. Not everyone can be nice 100% of the time and sometimes you have to be nasty when the situation calls for it.
I'm talking about personal revenge, btw
•
Revenge has never appealed to me, it strikes me as wasted effort and one likely to make life worse instead of better. That said I'm not entirely averse to the idea of vigilante justice in extreme cases but such would be for purely pragmatic reasons (with as much self-righteousness involved as putting down a rabid dog) rather than notions of "pay back" or even "justice."
Forgiveness, to me, isn't about being morally superior or for the other person either (at least not necessarily), it's about not letting hate or bitterness consume me so that I destroy myself obsessing over things that I cannot change. I defend myself as needed, but I don't go out of my way to pay people back, and I'll typically just freeze someone toxic out rather than plot my revenge against them.
And just because I forgive doesn't mean I therefore forget and trust as if nothing happened (that has to be earned) or even allowed to remain a part of my life, it's just about letting go emotionally while retaining what happened in memory for future reference so I don't repeat certain mistakes. I also see a difference between "thoughtless" and "malicious." And I try to not sweat the little stuff as none of us are saints with a perfect record.
•
There have only been about five individuals to hit the jackpot with me in this regard. More often than not I'm forgiving, too forgiving, and allow too much to slide. I have long patience and all of that crap. So for an individual to get me in the mood to destroy them utterly and completely they have to be especially annoying.
And yes there is an over all satisfaction of annihilating ones enemy, especially in those instances where they went the extra mile or hundred miles to reap the whirl wind of wrath.
Vengeance and revenge over petty stuff isn't worth it. Setting about to destroy anyone over just anything is not worth it either. Its got to be special, its got to be earned, all of that extra time and attention.
I don't fly off the handle over just anything. #2 is a primary example, he didn't stop with just punching me, he decided to stalk me, to get me fired, to get me arrested to do all manner of not so nice stuff instead of just letting me go.
He sowed the seeds of his own destruction.
I walked away the winner. He walked away a little worse for wear, but I hear he never turned to beating the crap out of another partner again, or for that matter stalking a person.
He learned important lessons.
•
Revenge is also bad because you can not possibly know every single aspect of every situation - what led it to happen, what will happen if you get your revenge, etc. For me, it's an attitude of humility towards life in general; knowing that I haven't a clue what all the pieces to the puzzle are.
People who are unkind or doing things they shouldn't always suffer anyways. Some people call this karma. Just let it do its thing.
•
Revenge may be sweet but it's also sweaty and I know that I don't like effort or sweat
•