I'm attracted to a shy guy

[tapaz]

hey guys,
i need some advice, I have never dated any guys before and have only come to terms with my homosexuality 2 years ago, just turned 40 and look way younger than my age, mainly because i took real good care of myself..
last month my employer sent my to work at another branch of our office in another city. I have never enjoyed moving around but that time it was different. i enjoyed my time there mostly because i met someone. I was looking for some fun and a friend of mine hooked me up with this young bisexual guy age 23. he is very timid by nature but when you get to know him, he is really nice and sweet. we became quite close and he will ofter visit me at my apartment when ever i was at home and we will have a drink and chat then he would be off on his way to work. he slept together only twice during my that one month bcoz be was always busy..
he introduced me to his straight friends and they too came hanging around at my apartment several times. at the end of my stay there, he pleaded with me to stay, i was surprised because he had not showed me any indication that he was really into me except for a little bit of flirting now and then. i have to say that i was starting to like him a lot more.. but the one thing with that guy is that he is an awful communicator, he doesnt text or call me, but would only do that whenever he wanted to come over and have some drinks with me..
then a couple of days before my time there was about to end he call me and asked me to stay for another period but this time i had to go back home because i was called back.
if it was up to me i would have stayed and i was heart broken, two nights before my departure i was hanging out at his house, had a few shots, and we were just talking and his friend turned up to joined us. i was not really feeling good about her presence as we were planning to have to fun in the bed room. we flirted all night without her noticing whenever we were alone. we decided to go to the club and came back at 3am. his friend was so stubborn and did nt leave and we were pissed off. later he told me that she was suspicious of us..we ended up not having sex that night. the following night i called him and pour out my heart to him, he was not suprised that i had feelings for him.
i got back to my home city and could not stop thinking about him. my friends noticed that there was a change in my, they told me i look happy, and i was..its been 2 and a half weeks now and we have spoken not more that 3 times, and lately he is not answering my texts. he toldme that he doesnt want a relationship,and i miss him so much as days goes by..
I have asked my boss to allow me to go work for another month there this coming month , only so i can see him. Im so attracted to him and want to be close to him..so that maybe he will change his mind and want to have a relationship.
he is very timid and i want to see him again face to face so i can have some answers
The question is, am i doing the right thing???
im thinking about now letting him know that im coming and see his reaction..

[meninlove]

you said, "..its been 2 and a half weeks now and we have spoken not more that 3 times, and lately he is not answering my texts. he toldme that he doesnt want a relationship"

There's your answer. Take him at his word and walk away.

[ExpatBrit77]

As a painfully shy guy myself, if a guy showed an interest I'd be thrilled!!! Just tell him how you feel

[tapaz]

ExpatBrit77
i have already told him how i feel. but dont want to give up on him just yet, he drives me crazy

[AlfredM]

you said, "..its been 2 and a half weeks now and we have spoken not more that 3 times, and lately he is not answering my texts. he toldme that he doesnt want a relationship"

There's your answer. Take him at his word and walk away.

I have to second this. I'm sorry,but it seems like you want more than what he could offer. :frown:

[Uneunsae]

He said he doesn't want a relationship. You should respect that.

[Wolfpack]

Sadly it sounds as if he does not want a relationship with you, but could be completely open with him about how you feel, and see what happens. But you may have to accept that you might just have to move on with your life.

[Bluelight]

The question is, am i doing the right thing???

Honestly, I would just let him go... he hasn't been talking to you in weeks, that doesn't sound like a good sign. This is coming from a young (shy) guy himself, if he's been ignoring you it's time to move on.

[TwisttheLeaf]

If you are looking to give a last ditch effort, I don't see anything wrong with that. BUT, that means when you see him, you need to be very open. VERY honest in what you want. And you have to listen to his answers and accept them, even if they aren't what you want to hear.

I would not tell him you're coming until it's definite that you're going. IF you get his hopes up then the trip falls through, it would not go well for you as far as getting through his defenses.