It is hard especially if you're not sexually compatible,but of course it is possible.
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:...And that the likelihood that any man I may show interest will be into total monogamy is directly proportional to my interest. This means that the more interested I am, the less likely he is able to do monogamy.
Not to be a smarty pant,but that's actually inversely proportional. 
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Monogamy is not easy since it's going against what's ingrained in us. but it's possible for everyone. if they really want it.
Mick
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Personally I've never found monogamy the least bit difficult...
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Being gay isn't a choice. Being Monogamous IS a choice.
There's no one holding a gun to your head making you sleep with everything that moves. If you're not happy in the relationship you're in, you're either not trying hard enough, or you jumped into it with lust in your eyes not really knowing whom he was as a PERSON and not just a sex toy to begin with.
Relationships aren't Disney Princess fantasies. They're a LOT of work, compassion, compromise, communication, love, intimacy... and they're not always "fun". Sometimes you fight, argue, and disagree. You're going to see each other at your best, AND at your worst. He and you are going to stink, fart, belch, be sick, have diarrhea, laugh, cry, snore, vomit, be drunk, slobs, and aggravating.
... there are good points too...
*IF* you're not ready for all that, DON'T get in a relationship. Wear protection EVERY time, be up front and honest with your hookups that you're NOT looking for a relationship and just be single.
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Borg69 Wrote:Being gay isn't a choice. Being Monogamous IS a choice.
There's no one holding a gun to your head making you sleep with everything that moves. If you're not happy in the relationship you're in, you're either not trying hard enough, or you jumped into it with lust in your eyes not really knowing whom he was as a PERSON and not just a sex toy to begin with.
Relationships aren't Disney Princess fantasies. They're a LOT of work, compassion, compromise, communication, love, intimacy... and they're not always "fun". Sometimes you fight, argue, and disagree. You're going to see each other at your best, AND at your worst. He and you are going to stink, fart, belch, be sick, have diarrhea, laugh, cry, snore, vomit, be drunk, slobs, and aggravating.
... there are good points too...
*IF* you're not ready for all that, DON'T get in a relationship. Wear protection EVERY time, be up front and honest with your hookups that you're NOT looking for a relationship and just be single.
I just got through saying all that to a friend She get's into a relationship then flee's when it's not all puppies and rainbow's. She does it constantly too.
It's tiring, lol
Mick
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Gideon and I have been in a monogamous long-distance relationship for over 6 years now. There are also a number of others (as you can see from the responses above) that have also found their long-term monogamous partners.
There is absolutely -nothing- about being gay, or straight, or bisexual, that prevents people from being monogamous. It's rediculous to think just because someone is gay that they can't be. Monogamy is a choice. Period. It's not a predisposition (or lack thereof) of ones sexual preferences.
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You are 1000000000000% right about "The Work" involved. For us it's not even like work anymore. We have a routine and thanks to the wonderful internet and cell phones we hardly ever miss talking with each other at least 3 times --- across 16 times zones. We even eat "Together" at least once a day. LOL. It's 12:40pm here 4:40am tomorrow there. I'm starving for lunch but I'll wait another another hour and twenty minutes for him to wake up and have breakfast....
............six more months......
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This subject comes up so often in gay forums and every single time it does, there are so many guys that post agreeing with the OP. With this subject so frequent and with so many agreeing, how can it really be that there are not gay men out there seeking monogamy? I'm starting to think the real problem is we have lost our social skills in this world without having a keyboard or phone in front of us and lost our ability to meet other quality people. It can't be they're not out there, because you hear all the time from gay men that this is what they are looking for.
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Iceblink Wrote:............ I'm starting to think the real problem is we have lost our social skills in this world without having a keyboard or phone in front of us and lost our ability to meet other quality people. ............
[I]I think you may be right. I'm pretty tough on single friends (gay or straight) who whine about not having anyone and then sit at home on line for more time than they try to get out and socialize. ~~ And as much as I like their company at times just because my BF and I are in a LD relationship and making it work doesn't mean they need to be hanging out with me all the time either.
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To me monogamy is quite natural. I like to share my deepest thoughts and desires with a special someone and while I can understand and somewhat relate to the idea of spreading our genes by breeding everything that moves, I lean more towards the comfort of being monogamous.
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