Awkward encounter while online

[Bboi]

Quick background info,
I'm in a committed relationship and have been for about seven months.

My boyfriend's closest friend (I'll call him N)is also gay and for a while now I have considered N one of my closest buddies as well. I find N to be attractive and we've spoken openly about it, he too divulged that he finds me attractive.

Here is where my dilemma comes in,
I've just pulled an all nighter and when that happens I get anxiety and therefore have trouble actually falling sleep and in order to relax I masturbate to online porn. So this morning as I am doing so I stumble on a porn video of N (solo in front of a camera). Should be said that after I found the video I lost any chance of finishing and am now dealing with more anxiety than I did before.

So what should I do? I have to talk to someone but I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want people knowing N does this. The only person I think I can talk to is N himself but I'm afraid he will react poorly or jump to conclusions.

Any ideas?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Get over yourself and move on. Stop thinking about it. Let it go. Stewing on the subject won't make it better, talking about it will do little to nothing to change your feelings about what you saw and what you really think of this guy.

This is your problem, not his. He clearly has no issue with having a video of himself jacking off on the net. You are the one who has the issue.

Consider yourself fortunate that you only stumbled on to a video of a friend whacking off.

Wait until the day you are sent a link of your partner being the center man in a gangbang. Especially when he has his one and only new tattoo that certainly dates the film as being filmed during the time you were in a relationship with him.

[TwisttheLeaf]

BA speaks a lot of truth in what he says. N clearly knows he's got porn of himself online. Why are you wanting to talk to him about it? He obviously put it there to be seen. Maybe not seen by you, but the chance of people he knows seeing it is inherent in putting it out there in the first place.

Put it in the spank bank and move on man. You're in a happy relationship. Unless you're looking for an 'out' from that relationship, talking about it will just cause problems you aren't looking for, IMO.

[Adam]

Seriously? You want to talk to N about it? Dude...it sounds like the 2 of you already have a bit of a sub-script flirtation going on. I'm putting myself in your place, and yeah, I'd talk to N --- if I wanted to hook up with him behind my BFs back.
Go back and reread what Bowyn Aerrow said. And if you need to talk to someone, talk to us. Talking to N will not end well...

[Iceblink]

Why on earth do you think this is any of your business to go and discuss this video with your friend? If he wanted to discuss this video, it would his place to come to you. In fact, because of the admitted attraction between you two, you should be leery of having discussions of any kind with this person outside of the presence of your boyfriend. The relationship with your boyfriend should be taking priority over the friendship with this guy.

[50Plus]

What I don't get is that you find him attractive, he's out there wanking for you and you can't finish?

WTF?

Although I agree with others that there is no need to have an in depth discussion with him about the video, I do believe you should say to him you saw it. No harm no foul, but you might help him. Bluntly, a lot of people are incredibly naive (i.e. dumbasss stupid) about the internet and have no clue that their friends can see what they post.

Then again, did he post it specifically for you to find?

[Undreamt]

Congratulations - you now have proof that your friend masturbates. Whats the big deal?

[Jake]

Dude I have 5 films made in Germany where I fuck, sucks and masturbates on camera. I still have my xtube channel, and my husband is aware and I even sent few of my friends check it out. What's the deal... different people live their sexuality differently; there's no need to have a long lasting discussion about it. If a friend of mine come to me and say: "Jake I went to Germany and found one of your films..." I'd just ask if he liked it LOL. End of discussion!

And no I do not hide my past with the people I know either. They know I have been a camera whore, an escort, a nude model. And if they have anything bad to say about it it's just jealousy speaking. Because, well instead of just dreaming, watching guys in action, I joined the action and retired in beauty.

So BA said it right, dude, you're the one having an issue... Now go back to that video and finish what you started

[CellarDweller]

I can only agree with what everyone else here says. I don't see the big deal.

I had a friend who (at the time) was debating getting into the porn business. I didn't think it was for him, but said nothing, it wasn't my business. In the end he backed out.

[LJay]

Pretty much all of the above.

You really do not need to talk to anyone. Sometimes people have things they know but are quiet about. This is one of them. Honestly, no one is wandering around with a need to discuss this. Just keep quiet and move on.