I think I'm in Love with a Straight Guy

[quiquej75]

Hello Everyone,

So I have a problem. I think I fell in love with a straight guy.
I'm 24 yrs old, I'm 100% on the DL, not out to anybody but myself, and very straight acting. I'm an Engineer, and I work out in a construction site, which is where my "friend" also works.

I'm Hispanic, so the fact that I know Spanish really helped me to be accepted among the field guys, since the majority are also Hispanic. That being said, my relationship with the guys out there has been great, we joke around, have fun, while always getting out work done. I guess is fair to say that although they see me as a superior, they also see me as one of them.

So among all those guys, there's this guy named Jose (lol). I noticed Jose back around October 2013, I recall seeing him work and doing stuff, but we never had actually got on a 1-to-1 conversation. I remember one day, I was walking out in the field with my clipboard and everything, and I heard him call me.

I just want advice/ opinions. If anybody has gone through something similar I'll like to know how they were able to move on. Because right now I feel like I'm in a dead -end...

[austin]

Just like any other crush you will never know till you act on it. If you get rejected move on.

If he is your friend then he may be more understanding than you think.

Also don't call it love that's a big word for just a crush, Good luck and hope to see a thread later about your and Jose first date.

[Borg69]

Don't waste your time on something you can't have. Find some gay guys to date whom can return your affections. Oh... don't date coworkers either. This is a cross road. Choose the right path.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Try this: http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-Someone-You-Love

Frankly I never fell in love with someone and stayed in love once I knew the game wasn't going to pan out.

[Virge]

In this forum and all others any time I've ever seen a thread with a title like "I'm in love with a straight guy" it's always written by a guy who's in the closet.

Advice. It's not going to turn out like you want it to.

[Adam]

It sounds like you work in a fairly macho environment, so I can see why it might be difficult to come out to co-workers. Is there any way you can meet other gay guys? I'm assuming that there have to be a lot of gay clubs in LA. Or if you're not ready for that, maybe online dating sites.
The thing is, if all you associate with is straight guys then you're bound to be crushing on one or more of them. And it's hard to get past those crushes when there are no alternatives in sight.

[MikeW]

Falling in love with straight guys (that is, crushing on them) is a good way to stay safe. Very little chance it will be a reciprocal relationship, even if you do get him drunk and laid. It's also a set up for the lonelies and heart ache not to mention drama. Wean yourself from this habit ASAP. You deserve better than disappointment and frustration.

[CellarDweller]

I can only echo what everyone else has said. He's straight, you're not. Don't waste your time, move on.

[Wolfpack]

You are not the first and will certainly not be the last gay man to fall for a straight guy, but sadly it can never lead anywhere for you only hurt feelings.

[TwisttheLeaf]

For me? The straight thing wouldn't be an issue. I know plenty of guys who are (or were) positive they were straight and turned out bi or gay once they got their hands on a guy (or a guy got their hands on them). SO.... straight wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

That he's a co-worker though? That is. Big time. It messes with his job, AND your career. And it opens the door to mess with it further should things not turn out well because he could end up blabbing it up to.... well, everyone at your work. Since you're very much in the closet? That could end up an issue.