Just met a guy I really like but I have to move abroad soon - advice needed!

[Adrian12345]

Hi all,

I need some advice.

I have just recently started seeing this guy. We only met three times and we both like each other very much (we have told each other this so I know this).

We are seeing each other again this weekend. Even though I am still getting to know him and this is a very early stage, I do feel a sense of connection with him (unlike other guys that I have met).

The problem is I am currently based in Australia but I have been asked by the company I work for to move to Shanghai for up to a year but could be longer) in August or September. This move is not yet finalised but is 95% going to happen.

Should I tell him now that I might be moving overseas before we both start falling even deeper for each other? Or just wait until its 100% finalised that I will be moving? Or should I stop seeing him because I have leave the country soon?? If I should tell him now, what do I say??

I really like this guy and I don't want to lose him but at the same time, we only just started seeing each other so it might not even work out next week (if you know what I mean.)

Your advice is much appreciated!!

[Lycanthropist]

You may as well tell him now. If it's 95% certain that it's going to happen, at least let him prepare for the possibility. I really don't see a reason to stop seeing him. Enjoy the time with him while you can.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Because it's not 100% finalized yet (and shit happens, yeah?) I would say tell him..... but tell him it's a possibility and not yet been finalized. Tell him that you didn't want to blindside him, so you thought you should let him know what -might- be happening with you.

You two can then talk about if you would like to try and keep in touch for the year and get back together to see how things feel when you return, or just throw in the towel.

Like Lycanthropist, I also don't see a reason to stop seeing him and think that you should enjoy the time with him while you can.

[saif1232]

I would say tell him, just to be fair, however! Do make sure you keep seeing him before leaving, just make sure you spend it enjoying yourself, thats whats important , even if it ends up being 100%, try n get him to see you till you leave if you enjoy each others company, as long as you both agree to end it when you leave, unless your into long distance etc...

[50Plus]

Have the grown up conversation now. Starting a relationship by withholding information ain't cool.

[GuyOverThere]

Tell him and make everything clear from the very start.

Unless you plan on getting to know this guy better and forming a long distance relationship, I'd try not to get too involved.

This is exactly what happened with me and my ex. We fell madly for each other, and I knew damn well he was moving to Hong Kong for a job, but still followed my heart. We tried to do the long distance thing, but it was torture for me and I had to call it off several months after he left.

I hope things work out for you.

[Adrian12345]

UPDATE:

So we met for brunch this morning and I told him that I will be gone for a while and he said "Thats fine babe, go. Just don't forget about me. I will come visit you. Its not that far!" He then planned where we should go for Christmas together.

I have fallen even more for this man. I know it is still early days but I now want to stay in Australia to be with him!!!!!! I get teary now just thinking about what he said.

[50Plus]

AWESOME news Adrian.

So with that obstacle out of the way you two can consider what a relationship may look like.

[AlfredM]

Shanghai is not that far from Sydney? Wow.. Yeah,he's the one.. :p

[TwisttheLeaf]

UPDATE:

So we met for brunch this morning and I told him that I will be gone for a while and he said "Thats fine babe, go. Just don't forget about me. I will come visit you. Its not that far!" He then planned where we should go for Christmas together.

I have fallen even more for this man. I know it is still early days but I now want to stay in Australia to be with him!!!!!! I get teary now just thinking about what he said.

It sounds like you found one that's in it for the long haul. Congratulations!