Dating a deaf guy
06-29-2014, 10:13 PM
I’ve met a guy who’s deaf and now I don’t know what to do with our relationship. We met in gay cafe where he was sitting alone with his coffee. Of course, at first I didn’t know he’s deaf. I just noticed him looking at me all the time and he looked away when I looked back. I’m quite brave and communicable person and he looked really cute so I came to him and I asked everything like „how are you, what’s your name? are you here alone?†First he was just looking at me and then he took a notebook out of his bag and he wrote that he couldn’t hear me. I’d never met such person before, I must say. We spent the whole evening chatting like this – he wrote something, I wrote something. I realized that he’s very nice guy. We also exchanged phone numbers and met the next day to have lunch together. Despite his disability, he has quite successful life and I admire him for that. And again we communicated in the same form – with paper and pen. He asked me if I knew sign language, I said I didn’t. Later that day at home I watched some videos about people using sign language and it looked so very difficult and I thought it’s impossible for me to learn it.
However I must say we’re quite attracted each to other already. We spend a lot of time together and I think about him often. He invited me to have dinner together with his family, very nice people. Yesterday he even kissed me and he said that it was his first kiss. He told me that he’s 24 years old and still virgin, because no guy has ever wanted to date him after they found out he’s deaf. I feel something very tender to him, like I want to protect him from everything. He's the kind of guy I would like to be together with.
But at the same time I’m worried about how will our relationships work out. We obviously cannot contact like this forever, through writing. I asked him if he could speak, he said he could but usually he doesn't because it’s very hard for him to control the volume of his voice and to form words. It’ll take eternity for me to learn sign language, because when I watched the videos I just didn't know how’s it’s possible to understand that. His family are hearing people and they all - his mother, father and sister - sign freely as I managed to see. He says it's not that important and that he'll teach me something over time.
Anyway, I though that maybe I'm not the right guy for him? I like him very much and I care for him, but I'm afraid that maybe it's not enough? Maybe he would need someone more educated to take care of him better? Being together with a disabled person means big responsibility I guess. I want to be there for him and help him how I can, but what if I do something wrong?
However I must say we’re quite attracted each to other already. We spend a lot of time together and I think about him often. He invited me to have dinner together with his family, very nice people. Yesterday he even kissed me and he said that it was his first kiss. He told me that he’s 24 years old and still virgin, because no guy has ever wanted to date him after they found out he’s deaf. I feel something very tender to him, like I want to protect him from everything. He's the kind of guy I would like to be together with.
But at the same time I’m worried about how will our relationships work out. We obviously cannot contact like this forever, through writing. I asked him if he could speak, he said he could but usually he doesn't because it’s very hard for him to control the volume of his voice and to form words. It’ll take eternity for me to learn sign language, because when I watched the videos I just didn't know how’s it’s possible to understand that. His family are hearing people and they all - his mother, father and sister - sign freely as I managed to see. He says it's not that important and that he'll teach me something over time.
Anyway, I though that maybe I'm not the right guy for him? I like him very much and I care for him, but I'm afraid that maybe it's not enough? Maybe he would need someone more educated to take care of him better? Being together with a disabled person means big responsibility I guess. I want to be there for him and help him how I can, but what if I do something wrong?
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I've had relationships that would have lasted longer if we couldn't speak to each other. 
