06-29-2014, 10:13 PM
Iâve met a guy whoâs deaf and now I donât know what to do with our relationship. We met in gay cafe where he was sitting alone with his coffee. Of course, at first I didnât know heâs deaf. I just noticed him looking at me all the time and he looked away when I looked back. Iâm quite brave and communicable person and he looked really cute so I came to him and I asked everything like âhow are you, whatâs your name? are you here alone?â First he was just looking at me and then he took a notebook out of his bag and he wrote that he couldnât hear me. Iâd never met such person before, I must say. We spent the whole evening chatting like this â he wrote something, I wrote something. I realized that heâs very nice guy. We also exchanged phone numbers and met the next day to have lunch together. Despite his disability, he has quite successful life and I admire him for that. And again we communicated in the same form â with paper and pen. He asked me if I knew sign language, I said I didnât. Later that day at home I watched some videos about people using sign language and it looked so very difficult and I thought itâs impossible for me to learn it.
However I must say weâre quite attracted each to other already. We spend a lot of time together and I think about him often. He invited me to have dinner together with his family, very nice people. Yesterday he even kissed me and he said that it was his first kiss. He told me that heâs 24 years old and still virgin, because no guy has ever wanted to date him after they found out heâs deaf. I feel something very tender to him, like I want to protect him from everything. He's the kind of guy I would like to be together with.
But at the same time Iâm worried about how will our relationships work out. We obviously cannot contact like this forever, through writing. I asked him if he could speak, he said he could but usually he doesn't because itâs very hard for him to control the volume of his voice and to form words. Itâll take eternity for me to learn sign language, because when I watched the videos I just didn't know howâs itâs possible to understand that. His family are hearing people and they all - his mother, father and sister - sign freely as I managed to see. He says it's not that important and that he'll teach me something over time.
Anyway, I though that maybe I'm not the right guy for him? I like him very much and I care for him, but I'm afraid that maybe it's not enough? Maybe he would need someone more educated to take care of him better? Being together with a disabled person means big responsibility I guess. I want to be there for him and help him how I can, but what if I do something wrong?
However I must say weâre quite attracted each to other already. We spend a lot of time together and I think about him often. He invited me to have dinner together with his family, very nice people. Yesterday he even kissed me and he said that it was his first kiss. He told me that heâs 24 years old and still virgin, because no guy has ever wanted to date him after they found out heâs deaf. I feel something very tender to him, like I want to protect him from everything. He's the kind of guy I would like to be together with.
But at the same time Iâm worried about how will our relationships work out. We obviously cannot contact like this forever, through writing. I asked him if he could speak, he said he could but usually he doesn't because itâs very hard for him to control the volume of his voice and to form words. Itâll take eternity for me to learn sign language, because when I watched the videos I just didn't know howâs itâs possible to understand that. His family are hearing people and they all - his mother, father and sister - sign freely as I managed to see. He says it's not that important and that he'll teach me something over time.
Anyway, I though that maybe I'm not the right guy for him? I like him very much and I care for him, but I'm afraid that maybe it's not enough? Maybe he would need someone more educated to take care of him better? Being together with a disabled person means big responsibility I guess. I want to be there for him and help him how I can, but what if I do something wrong?