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Dating a deaf guy
#11
The hard part of ASL/Ameslan (American Sign Language) is the alphabet. All the "signs" make sense and when you learn the origin for each of them so they'll gel in your memory. Signing is really a lot of fun because it's so animated and can be way more creative than oral conversations when it comes to some things. And trust me, it's not that hard to learn the basics and move right on into becoming fairly fluent with it.

go for it.
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#12
As someone with a total hearing loss in one ear and a significant loss in the other, please allow me to comment:

He recognizes and accepts your shortcomings in that you don't know how to sign, and are feeling inadequate. He's willing to help when it feels appropriate. Doesn't sound like he's worried about whether he's got enough to offer you. And it doesn't sound like he's too concerned with your "handicap".

Sweetie, you're not buying a pet. Your investing your time and emotions into a new friend who is apparently accepting you as you are, damned hearing and all. Relax and go with it and be happy. You will both be generously rewarded for the experience, even if you end up being "good friends".

And as others have pointed out, "conversational" signing is easy to learn. Community colleges usually offer courses for a bargain.
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#13
You are one lucky man. All I can do is sit here and think of others who passed him over because he has one disability. He's learned to accommodate it and, as another poster said, you're not buying a pet, he knows how to take care of himself. I had to learn American Sign Language and apart from thinking, for a few weeks that my fingers were going to rebel and march off, it was an acquisition I'm glad to have. Please consider this, as time goes on and your relationship deepens, the spoken word will grow less important. You'll know each other so well that only a few signs will convey the conversation, He'll never complain if you play whatever music maker you've got to loud and just from you've written, he sounds like a warm, kind person. That his family accepts him would mean they'll accept you, help you get to understand; Learning sign language is like learning any language at first it seems in surmountable and then it makes sense and its easy. Remember, you're going to have a teacher right next to you whose as anxious as you are to be able to put things across. But the nice thing is....a hug and a kiss and a fully meant look in their eyes can say a lot. When people ask you why him, he's damaged, just look at them and laugh; They're in perpetual search of not Mr. Right but Mr. Perfect...and you have him. Nuzzle him for me.....
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#14
He sounds like an amazing person. I don't understand why, if you feel the way that you say you do about him, you wouldn't -want- to learn sign language.

I kind of feel that.... the fact you seem to be considering "tossing him back" at the prospect of making the effort... that it shows a flaw in -you-. One far more insurmountable than his disability.

Many community centers and colleges offer classes on sign language. If you're really sincere about wanting to see where things go with him, maybe you should look into taking one.
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#15
No, I don't mean to toss him away because of something he cannot change, I didn't mean to say that.

I'm not saying I don't want to learn to sign, I'm just saying that it'll take a lifetime for me, because I'm very bad with languages. I noticed that back in the school already that I'm good with mathematics and things like that, but I had very hard time learning languages. That's what I'm worried about, that he'll have to wait a long time before we can communicate like that. And maybe he'll get tired of waiting eventually and won't want to waste his time with me.

And about implants, I'm not sure what kind of implants are you talking about, but I believe these are for people who can hear at least something. He can't hear anything.
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#16
In the case of your learning a language it would not be same as learning as when you was school, you would not have to learn how to pronounce words or even write them. It could be a great bonding experience for you both, learning together getting to know each other deeper and maybe even having fun along the way. How will you know if you do not try?
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#17
Anonymous Wrote:And about implants, I'm not sure what kind of implants are you talking about, but I believe these are for people who can hear at least something. He can't hear anything.

Apparently neither can you... Listen to your Heart, not your insecurities.
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#18
malignacious Wrote:I thought deafness is completely curable with the latest generation of implants, he can't afford it?

Not all deaf people -want- to hear. There are various reasons for this, but there is a large faction of the deaf out there that would prefer to remain as they are rather than go through with implant surgery.
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#19
my niece learned basic sign when she was six so she could play with the neighbours 2 year old who only knew sign - its not as hard as u may think, he sounds a great guy, and if your getting to meet the family then he must like you too
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#20
Anonymous Wrote:I'm not saying I don't want to learn to sign, I'm just saying that it'll take a lifetime for me, because I'm very bad with languages. I noticed that back in the school already that I'm good with mathematics and things like that, but I had very hard time learning languages.

"Conversational" signing is very easy since so many, many of the signs are pretty much exactly what you might do if you were doing charades. Forget about verb tenses and strict grammar (unless you pursue ASL). So please do not let your prior experience with foreign languages give you a negative outlook on even trying. It can be fun. (And there are even books available for "dirty" sign language when you're ready. I haven't actually read one, but I can pretty well imagine what signs mean what. Diablotin)
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