Hey everyone I'm new to here 
So I didn't know where else to go or who else to ask about this.
I have been with my boyfriend for over 7 years, well we are engaged. I am so in love with him. He makes me so happy and is my best friend.
One of my best friends.. Holly.. We have been friends for about 3 and a half years, I met her through my sister. And we are now really close, We don't get to hang out much anymore because she is Irish and has moved back to Ireland..
So anyway, She is a lesbian. She told me a couple of weeks ago about a girl she was kinda seeing I didn't think anything of it. But yesterday she called me and told me about her 'crazy' night out. And how she had slept with the girl and was really into her. I felt sick to my stomach. I have no idea why. Then today she said you are like a little sister to me! And that made me feel weird too.
I felt Jealous, I felt a weird sick feeling in my stomach and chest. I have not really replied much to her since. I have no idea what the hell is going on why am I feeling like this?
I am not Gay. I just feel so confused, I am so happy with my boyfriend and we have an amazing relationship I just don't know why I feel this way?
I think about her alot, What is this? Do I like her?
Have any of you been in a situation like this before? Please give me some advice.
Thank you x
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Jealousy doesn't just come with sexual attraction. Fear of losing someone important to you doesn't only come with sexual attraction either.
It could be possible that you just fear losing your friend, and the closeness that you two have, to another influence beyond your control.
My suggestion is just to make sure she knows how much you value her friendship. How important she is to you (in a non-sexual way, of course) and foster your friendship with regular contact.
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She know's how much she means to me. And we are still as close as we always have been.
I don't know if I feel a sexual attraction towards here. But I get a feeling whenever we are around eachother, or whenever we talk to eachother that I feel guilty about. And I don't know what it is. But I don't fear loosing her as a friend. I just feel really confused
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Hi, and welcome to GS!
I have had a best friend, Jesse, since I was 7 years old. He's straight. But when my BF and I started getting serious and decided to live together, Jess started acting really weird. Distant and sarcastic and...IDK, it really seemed like he was jealous. It bothered me a lot, he and I had always been like brothers. So I confronted him and I pushed it, I wasn't about to lose my best friend for no reason that I could see. And if finally came out that he was feeling jealous and resentful and hurt --- what it came down to was, we had been so close for so long he couldn't handle thinking that someone else was going to "replace" him, and that I'd feel closer to someone else. He wasn't in love with me, didn't want sex with me. It was the closeness that he feared losing.
I don't know if your situation could be anything like that. Nowhere in your post do you mention being attracted to her or having sexual feelings for her - could it just be that you're feeling a bit displaced?
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This happens all the time in friendships, jealously of that romantic interest of a friend that will somewhat change the nature of the person's friendships, with you and everyone other friend she has. There is no way around it because she will now be dividing her time differently. As a friend, the thing we have to do is be happy for our friends when they find someone they are romantically interested in and hope they are on their way to finding the same joy you have with your boyfriend. It can be difficult when you have gotten comfortable in a friendship, but avoid being the bitter friend.
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I thought about her in a Sexual way twice, But I thought maybe all girls might have those feelings sometimes. I asked my friend Lindsay, She said she can appreciate an attractive girl but thats it. But the thing is, She told me earlier that her and the girl she is seeing aren't going to pursue is any further because there is such a big distance between them. they live over 5 hours apart. I have a weird friendship with her, it's not like my other friendships. I like her, But I am not sure in what way or how. And there was a point when she always used to tell everyone and me, that she was into me she always said 'I wish you were gay you are hot' . I don't know how to explain how I feel now. Should I say it to her? Or just forget it?
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Now you've kind of changed the direction of this thread with your last post. There is advice that is given to people that are in heterosexual relationships and marriages and are only in them because of the pressure of society, you are not that person, however. You are someone in a monogamous relationship and just because you are in one does not mean you stop having sexual thoughts or fantasies about other people, we're human. What does change, hopefully, is pursuing those thoughts and fantasies. I do not see any reason to tell her about your feelings for her if it is nothing you can or are going to pursue. Not everything we feel about our friends needs to be shared with our friends. Remember, you've made a commitment to someone and if you change the neighbor of the friendship with this woman, you change the nature of your relationship with your boyfriend. I do not like to discourage people from exploring their sexuality, but there are times when we just cannot do that if we want to live within the commitment we have made to someone else.
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Even straight people sometimes get sexual feelings about a friend that has always been there and cared, I wouldn't put to much into it, but she was is your best friend, tell her that, wish her well, visit when you can, ireland is a beautiful country, I would not break ties with her
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Been there before. It doesn't necessarily need to be sexual or lead to some sort of gay relationship or whatever, but it is possible to have a really close friend, someone who is closer than others and closer than a sibling and is perfectly normal to on occasion, think of them sexually. She obviously fills a need you have emotionally. You obviously love her...doesn't mean it's romantic, just be honest with her and tell her. Hell, tell your bf...who knows what he'd be into, who knows what she'd be into...you may end up having a really awesome threesome....ha ha!
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