Gay without the sex...

[MikeW]

^^^ I don't see anything wrong with homosexual other than the fact it places so much emphasis on the 'sex' part. But, for me, that isn't an issue. As for 'other' possibilities, I really don't have any. Some fear it but frankly I'm of the opinion that sexual preference is going to be far less of an issue in the future (may take a generation or two or three, don't know). I have a bunch of reasons for thinking this. One is, I'm absolutely amazed at how many men (sexual preference uncertain) are not only willing to, but *want to* take naked pictures of themselves in various states of arousal and post them on the internet for the world to see. Had someone told me 20 years ago this would happen, I simply would not have believed them (and I've grown accustomed to weird shit happening). Blows my mind. But, also, I'm expecting tremendous advances in neuro-technology in the next half century. Remember, I come from a time when gay porn was so rare it was practically non existent, especially by today's standards where it is ubiquitous. Imagine the development of technology that would allow you to not only 'watch' something, but to engage in it neurologically; to actually experience it as sensation. Talk about 'cyber sex'. Soon, we may not *need* one another at all, LOL! ( :eek: )

[Cuddly]

I refer to myself as gay or homosexual and consider both appropriate. Faggot is, in my opinion, a homophobic slur.

I like labels, but the gay/homosexual label doesn't only include those lovely queens we see in sitcoms and the world needs to know that. I wish the media would do something about that. I believe I am doing my part, by telling everybody that I'm gay. I don't really look the part.

[Adam]

...I refer to myself as Adam and to my partner as Will...I'm sick to death of labels...when was the last time someone introduced himself and said, "Hi. I'm Joe and I'm straight..."? Straight guys don't go around specifying that they're straight (unless they're VERY insecure), why do I need to have a label?

[MikeW]

...I refer to myself as Adam and to my partner as Will...I'm sick to death of labels...when was the last time someone introduced himself and said, "Hi. I'm Joe and I'm straight..."? Straight guys don't go around specifying that they're straight (unless they're VERY insecure), why do I need to have a label?

I believe this attitude is where we're headed as a society. Right now self labeling (and labeling others) as to orientation is a 'big deal' (coming from our social history). I suspect in the future it just won't be so much. It will always be there but just not that big a deal one way or the other. Imagine a world where guys sort themselves out without any more judgement about it than brown eyes have toward blue or blue toward green, or left-handed to right-handed. "Oh, ok, w/e."

[TwisttheLeaf]

Okay so.... I'm going to quote something that Uneunsae said in a different thread.

Keep in mind, that all these things are separate and may not match:

Physical sex (reproductive organs and genitalia)
Gender (your brain)
Sexual Orientation (who you're attracted to)
Gender Expression (how you dress, act, etc. There are feminine men and masculine women, too)

Homosexuality and gay are the same thing. The terms are interchangeable. They fall under sexual orientation and deal with who you are attracted to. Whether or not you're having sex really has no bearing on this. It's about attraction, not literally what you put your dick into (or if you are or not).

"Gay Lifestyle" is different for everyone depending on your location and the friends you hang out with. There are plenty of straight men (and women) who enjoy immersing themselves in this lifestyle with their gay friends, but aren't attracted to same sex options themselves. This does not make them gay or homosexual, it just means they enjoy hanging out with friends that are.

Just as there are straight men and women who enjoy immersing themselves in the "societal clique" of their gay friends. So too are there plenty of gay people out there who you would -never guess- in a million years are gay. And others who maybe you would, but that don't participate in the "societal clique" type of gay behavior you're referring to.

[Virge]

...I refer to myself as Adam and to my partner as Will...I'm sick to death of labels...when was the last time someone introduced himself and said, "Hi. I'm Joe and I'm straight..."? Straight guys don't go around specifying that they're straight (unless they're VERY insecure), why do I need to have a label?

When I'm sitting around with trusted straight friends (90% of the are straight) and they're talking about me or my man as gay, IF they're in my real close circle I tell them we like the old term "queer" better. And we do. On my job my nickname with co-workers is Kewvee. Q+V (for Queer and my 1st initial) BUT... it's neat as crap for the guys at work to call me that knowing they used to be homophobic as hell and then NEVER use it around outsiders... or if they do --- rush to apologize for it! It really makes me feel good to have them accept me and be that relaxed and at the same time sensitive towards me. I'm the only one who ever makes funny remarks about gay stuff at work and when I do they aren't right for thirty minutes...... Like farting in the enclosed area in which we all work is now a big no-no... because the first time a guy did it thinking it was funny I asked him real sarcastically how he knew the gay mating call --- and he was ragged on for entire shift --- So fart in my air space and prepare to be humiliated!

It also was nice when I was at the town cafe the other morning to have one of the old codgers ask me something about some gay person in USA Today I'd never heard of and have some other old guy snap at him, "why are you asking him about some gay guy in the damned newspaper? Just keep reading and be quiet. We were talking about the zoning committee."

Now really... How cool is that?

Are ya getting an idea of why I stay so high on life all the time?????

[East]

...I refer to myself as Adam and to my partner as Will...I'm sick to death of labels...when was the last time someone introduced himself and said, "Hi. I'm Joe and I'm straight..."? Straight guys don't go around specifying that they're straight (unless they're VERY insecure), why do I need to have a label?

I agree...I think I told maybe four people I was "gay" in my life...

My family (counts as one)...five minutes after it first occurred to me that I was gay...went from my brain and out my mouth QUICK and then I was done with it

...and three waitresses who wouldn't stop trying to seduce me.

I think being gay is a non issue and I treat it as such. Instead of saying I am gay...I introduce people to my boyfriend and they can figure it out...or not...don't really care. I am not the "let's have a talk about my sexuality" type....but I won't pretend I am not gay for anyone.

Maybe 75% of my friends are straight now too...used to be more gay but they all passed away...I know they don't think of me as "gay" sometimes which is funny because they totally see us as a couple but I think they think of us as "straight" couple...or just like them....which we are...except for one small thing

I know a few of the couples are sometimes disappointed that we are not "more gay" LOL I think they want use to be like Will and Jack (we aren't)

I guess that is progress?...not really sure...

[MikeW]

...Now really... How cool is that?

Are ya getting an idea of why I stay so high on life all the time?????

It's amazing to hear how much 'the headland' has changed, in large part no doubt because of people like you. You're comfortable in your own skin. I was never comfortable 'in my own skin', especially growing up, and it took me years to figure out that my sexual orientation was only part of that. It was more, though, because I was 'expected' to be like my dad, which I wasn't so much. I was much more like my older brother (20 years older) and for a brief time as a kid I entertained the bizarre notion that I was his son via incest. :eek: Damn good to know that the rest of the world is catching up to it being a 'no big deal'.

[Iceblink]

Going to be the odd one here, but I hate the phrase "I hate labels" as much as people who use it hate labels. Words are necessary for conversation and language and I'm not going to use long phrases to describe what I mean when it can be said in a word like "homosexual," "gay," "queer," "lesbian," "transgender," "bisexual," etc. It is so trendy to use the "I hate labels" line, but you can say it until you're blue in the face and until your last day on earth but it is never going to change the fact that some kind of word is going to used to describe you and to describe others. It is simply a necessity of language in order to be able to communicate what we are talking about.
Edit- Something else about this label thing. I also just usually call my partner by his name, Phil, but you will notice, as was done before, in this case I used the label "partner" because in this this discussion it was necessary to distinguish I wasn't talking about some guy that could have been just a good friend, my brother, my neighbor, or coworker. There's a reason why we have words/labels.

[Virge]

Going to be the odd one here, but I hate the phrase "I hate labels" as much as people who use it hate labels. Words are necessary for conversation and language and I'm not going to use long phrases to describe what I mean when it can be said in a word like "homosexual," "gay," "queer," "lesbian," "transgender," "bisexual," etc. It is so trendy to use the "I hate labels" line, but you can say it until you're blue in the face and until your last day on earth but it is never going to change the fact that some kind of word is going to used to describe you and to describe others. It is simply a necessity of language in order to be able to communicate what we are talking about.

I AGREE with what you're saying about how labels are needed in conversation.... but then there's screwballs like me who really confuse the crap out of people who rely on labels and stereotypes that go with labels. Deep inside my issue with defining my sexuality was not so much figuring out if I was gay or straight because after that hormonal craze from 15 to 18 when I never "dated" a woman less than 5 years older than me I started craving a pair bond that was split 50-50 between seeking it with guys or women. I could have gone either way until I met Jay and everything clicked. Once it clicked that was all it took for me.

I'm still attracted to women but this is the wrong place to get into that. I have a solid bond with a solid guy and if I want to get him fired up when were play-spatting all I have to do is say, "I gave up a lot of good men to put up with your crazy crap.... AND LOADS OF WOMEN TOO!" Then I let him beat me up while I'm laying on the floor laughing. Then we get nekkid and forget all about it.

Saying that the downside for me is that --- right now as I see it ----if something ever happened to him I honestly don't think it would be fair to another person for me to ever try to have an emotional pair bond. That could change but I don't see it now. I hope I never have to find out.