Can I really be a top?

[Bluelight]

You can be whatever you want to be. Also, "submissive top" is totally a thing, you ever hear of bottoms who ride on top and take control? I guess you can call them dominant bottoms, some of them are really into that.

[Gideon]

Thanks for the input Gideon! I really hope I could find a dominant partner like you,who's comfortable enough with being dominant that he can give up being top sometimes.

There's something I realized from your words. It wasn't being bottomed that gave me great pleasure and turn me on the most,it was me being dominated by other guy. The thought that he can do what he want with my body with little direction from me turns me on. Whether I get fucked,or he gets fucked,or we don't do anal at all,that doesn't really matter to me. Of course I still get pleasure from bottoming,but it was mostly because he was so dominant that I just want to give my hole to him. Okay,TMI maybe,but I'm in anon mode,so.. :biggrin:

*Chuckles*

Not really too much info, man. Just you figuring out what it is you want...what you -need- out of the experience.

And in that vein, I will give you these words of advice...be safe(not just safe sex but be sure it's with someone you trust to have that absolute control that you crave..there are lots of posers out there who don't know what they're doing with a submissive and can do some real damage both physical and emotional) Make sure you give your limits up front and update them as needed. Safe words can also be a good idea in case you need OUT in a hurry.

Also? If you're as submissive minded as you sound? Then don't sweat the small stuff, a good dominant will give you exactly what you're looking for...top bottom or somewhere in between.

[Virge]

is a submissive top the same thing as a straight man who hold's his own legs up during gay sex?

[Gideon]

is a submissive top the same thing as a straight man who hold's his own legs up during gay sex?

Nah man, it's when you -take your damn finger outta your nose- when you're told to....

*Chuckles*

[Anonymous]

...And in that vein, I will give you these words of advice...be safe(not just safe sex but be sure it's with someone you trust to have that absolute control that you crave..there are lots of posers out there who don't know what they're doing with a submissive and can do some real damage both physical and emotional) Make sure you give your limits up front and update them as needed. Safe words can also be a good idea in case you need OUT in a hurry.

Also? If you're as submissive minded as you sound? Then don't sweat the small stuff, a good dominant will give you exactly what you're looking for...top bottom or somewhere in between.

Thanks for the advice! That's hard,cause I'm hooking up with random people,not sure how to filter out these posers,hmm.

Well,I had another experience just now with a submissive bottom. Since I've gained a bit experience,I could take charge,but it didn't turn me on as much as when I am dominated. I'm not sure if it is me or the bottom,but I felt pain on my dick when I tried to penetrate him. It could be he is still tight,and I fingered him a bit,but forgot to use more than a finger,so it could be that. That pain kinda make me lost my hardness too. I wonder if it is normal to feel that pain trying to get penis into an ass hole? :confused: And when I succeeded penetrating him,as I tried to swing,my dick fell out and we just gave up on anal. I think I was a bit nervous too trying to top somebody,which explain why I was having a hard time maintaining an erection. Gosh it's hard to top! Gonna try again though,hopefully some dominant bottom find his way to me. :biggrin:

[TwisttheLeaf]

I wonder if it is normal to feel that pain trying to get penis into an ass hole? :confused: And when I succeeded penetrating him,as I tried to swing,my dick fell out and we just gave up on anal.

It is normal, especially the first time or few times you try because it's a new sensation yeah? It sounds like you definitely needed to stretch him out some more, and maybe some more lube too.

Falling out is normal as well. It happens. It takes practice to get the rhythm and angle right.... and to realize once you've paved the path? The path is paved and going will be easier. In other words, once you get your dick in there? Even if you fall out, getting back in again will be easier than the last time.

I find (being normally a submissive bottom for Gideon, but also at times a dominant top for him as well) that in my case it depends on my mood on what I can do. I can't always top, in other words. There's times that I just -can't-. I need to have enough aggression "built up" inside of me to express it in a sexual manner, yeah? Sometimes, I'm just not aggressive enough to "feel it" and then topping just won't get my dick hard no matter how hard I try. On the other hand? Being naturally submissive to Gideon's aggression.... I can damn near -always- get it up for him when I'm bottoming and he's the top.

[Uneunsae]

^ I relate so much to this. Like you, OP, I'm submissive by nature, but I can dom sometimes and only if I'm really in the mood. I'm more likely to "bottom on the top" as someone else mentioned because I find it can be very sexy. My whole thing is that we should go with the flow and do what comes naturally. Don't worry about whether your activity is "bottom" or "top". Just do what feels right.

As far as the technical stuff goes... yes, this takes practice. I've read straight forums where people complain about falling out, etc. It's a skill you learn.

[Virge]

Pain when penetrating it isn't unusual if going too fast. Most times it's from the bottom being aggressive in getting penetrated --- NOT the top being too pushy.

My guy get's real freaky about it sometimes and takes it too fast and hurts my penis. One time he tore my frenulum. Another time I ended up with blood blisters on the inside of foreskin from it being stretched back so hard when he took it in.

[Anonymous]

Okay,I was under the impression that being top is totally painless and you get to have all the fun without having to do as much work as a bottom to overcome pain.

I really don't like feeling pain on my dick,it's a huge turn off,and I can lose erection and pleasure if I feel pain down there.

This is also why I don't really like receiving oral compared to giving,cause somehow I could still feel the sucker's teeth and it's a turn off,it gives less pleasure,but there's still some pleasure,which is why I will still accept getting head.

Plus,I like being on equal footing with my partner,in some part. Maybe just giving oral and receiving anal totally doesn't make me any lesser than my partner,but that's how I perceive it whenever I watch porn with such scene. It feels like being a bottom,and giving oral,there's so much being taken from you. Not to mention in term of risk for STD,those roles are the riskiest. =/

[Anonymous]

@Uneunsae I am experimenting whether I actually enjoy anal sex or not. So far bottoming feels good even if I didn't experience hands-free cum or MMO,so I could rule that I am into bottoming. Now I'm trying to see if topping is for me or not. Which is why it might seem like I'm worrying too much about being top or bottom,but really,I just want to experiment and not left any fun out.

@memechose Thanks for the info! Gosh,that sounds horrible! I assure you I didn't even go fast or the bottom didn't even had the chance to be aggressive, it was too brief for that to even happen, but now I'm kinda scared of what you're saying.

Anal sex is so stressful/ =.=" I kinda wish I don't have to experiment at all.