Stay-go

[NightOwl]

Hi,

In a long term relationship and unsure what to do.

Bf using class b drug that h knows without doubt is causing me annoyance. However he just plods along.....

Beeen known to self-harm also. This can tie in with an argument all over his use.

He turns everything on me as if all is well. A complete disregard for how this is bothering me.

Sex never happens also which is concerning...

Been told what is happening comes under 'domestic abuse' however I can't see it!

If we were not living together I think we would be over. As I would feel more easy ending it for some reason.

Suggestions....

Thanks

[Wolfpack]

Your BF needs proper medical help, does not sound like he is willing to save himself and you alone cannot deal with all his problems. Tell him how much what he is doing is hurting you and push him to get the help he needs, be direct and straight with him, and make it clear you cannot continue living this way it is no good for either of you. good luck.

[NightOwl]

Your BF needs proper medical help, does not sound like he is willing to save himself and you alone cannot deal with all his problems. Tell him how much what he is doing is hurting you and push him to get the help he needs, be direct and straight with him, and make it clear you cannot continue living this way it is no good for either of you. good luck.

He fails to see the issue. Helps him deal with being bored etc...

I have lost count the amount of times I have been straight to the point. I think at last and then within 48 hours same crap!

[Wolfpack]

Does not sound like he is willing to listen to you, just sinks back into his old habits. He needs a reality check and proper professional help.

[NightOwl]

Does not sound like he is willing to listen to you, just sinks back into his old habits. He needs a reality check and proper professional help.

Yeah which in the mean time I feel like shit. Even more so at the finances of this!

He fails to see an issue at all. I have even reminded him that him being caught could impact upon me! In the hope he would wake up!

No... He thinks it's fine and I am the one on a high horse! Selfish attitude really...

[Borg69]

We're told if you love someone, you stick by them, no matter what. For better or worse, till death do you part.

In many trying circumstances I would agree with this, but not in your situation. This is bigger and more than you can handle, especially with him siding against you, the abuse, and your finances at stake.

I have no doubt you love him and did everything you could. Some people can't be helped, and will only drag you down with them. Save yourself. Walk away. Maybe your leaving will be the wake up call he needs to seek help for himself... or he will continue down his road to ruin.

[ChadCoxRox]

Your post says it all except what you've done so far.
How long together? How long has he and the relationship been in this pattern?
What is your role along the way?
This info will help get more usable feedback.
Sorry for your stress.

[NightOwl]

Your post says it all except what you've done so far.
How long together? How long has he and the relationship been in this pattern?
What is your role along the way?
This info will help get more usable feedback.
Sorry for your stress.

6 years. The nearly daily use been for months . Before was odd time.

I have been telling him this is no good but he thinks it's a non issue. I have suggested plans for the basis of saving for eg holiday. Nope.... Will sort of go with the flow in the looking with me. But when nearly £200 is spent within 14 days ......................... That is just the one time I took note.

[ChadCoxRox]

What issues do you have with moving out of the sickness?

[TwisttheLeaf]

I know this isn't a very popular sentiment.... but sometimes love isn't enough. Love cannot overcome all obstacles. It cannot solve all problems.

Sometimes, love just isn't enough. Period.

Your situation, IMO, is one of those situations. This issue is too big for you alone, and yet your partner refuses help.

It's time to leave. I know it may be hard to do with you living together, etc.... but that doesn't mean it's the wrong move. In fact, from what you say about if you weren't living together it would already be over? It's the only -right- move left.