Stay-go

[ChadCoxRox]

I know this isn't a very popular sentiment.... but sometimes love isn't enough. .... In fact, from what you say about if you weren't living together it would already be over? It's the only -right- move left.

Exactly, "from what you say"....
SO I ask again, what's your role in all this? How brutally honest can you be in this fairly anonymous forum about the whole bloody mess of it all. He'd argue a defense I'm sure. Of course, if he's in active addiction or well on his way, it wouldn't matter BUT you are the missing link hold me back from saying GET OUT.

[CellarDweller]

YOu can't help him until he is ready to help himself. If he refuses to do this, then you need to give serious thought to the situation.

You should also look into to a support group for family/loved ones of addicts.

[NightOwl]

Exactly, "from what you say"....
SO I ask again, what's your role in all this? How brutally honest can you be in this fairly anonymous forum about the whole bloody mess of it all. He'd argue a defense I'm sure. Of course, if he's in active addiction or well on his way, it wouldn't matter BUT you are the missing link hold me back from saying GET OUT.

He has mental health issues. Really do have major implications daily. So unable to work and be around people.

So uses to deal with it alongside the boredom

[NightOwl]

I know this isn't a very popular sentiment.... but sometimes love isn't enough. Love cannot overcome all obstacles. It cannot solve all problems.

Sometimes, love just isn't enough. Period.

Your situation, IMO, is one of those situations. This issue is too big for you alone, and yet your partner refuses help.

It's time to leave. I know it may be hard to do with you living together, etc.... but that doesn't mean it's the wrong move. In fact, from what you say about if you weren't living together it would already be over? It's the only -right- move left.

I also have my own problems but these are managed myself andwith medication. However this makes it harder to break away than what the 'average' person goes through. So often retain bad relationships... Even knowing this still does not make it easier.

[ChadCoxRox]

OK, I have MUCH more clarity now. Thanks for sharing.
If you do what you need for your own well being the best you can, even in this predicament, and you find him doing better for himself...you'd likely remain together?
When and how often do you attend community based recovery support meetings? This is the key to the door that is sounding locked from this side. I'm afraid support online won't be enough but still valuable.
If you stay connected here, even if it gets difficult to do so, and you follow through with reaching out in real life to people who are working what you need to be working, then you will have MUCH more strength and hope.

[Iceblink]

He has mental health issues. Really do have major implications daily. So unable to work and be around people.

So uses to deal with it alongside the boredom

He's not working, so where is the money coming from to feed his addiction?

[NightOwl]

He's not working, so where is the money coming from to feed his addiction?

Savings.......................

[NightOwl]

Just seems to dismiss my thoughts and how this is impacting one me quite easy.. He is a nice guy hence why we've been togther for a long time...

However the last few months have been crap.

[Drew02]

I know this isn't a very popular sentiment.... but sometimes love isn't enough. Love cannot overcome all obstacles. It cannot solve all problems.

Sometimes, love just isn't enough. Period.

Your situation, IMO, is one of those situations. This issue is too big for you alone, and yet your partner refuses help.

It's time to leave. I know it may be hard to do with you living together, etc.... but that doesn't mean it's the wrong move. In fact, from what you say about if you weren't living together it would already be over? It's the only -right- move left.

I can't emphasize enough how much I agree with this. What it comes down to is, you may not be able to save him but you CAN save yourself. And that is EXCACTLY what this is about. Possibly, having you leave may be the reality shock he needs. Maybe not. But he's dragging you down and you need to be strong. I'm sorry - like TwistTheLeaf said, it may not be what you want to hear but he is totally on targget.

[NightOwl]

Yeah this is starting to be the focus of my thoughts... Which is terrible