Do most gay men always look for someone "better"?

[Uneunsae]

One more thing,

Anyone can preen their feathers and strut around online. Not everyone is the same in RL as they are on the Internet.

Keep that in mind, too.

[Adam]

I find that with everyone who insists something is wrong with "everyone else"...if you hang around long enough you will find the REAL problem
(Psssst...it isn't everyone else )

I think that his point was that the one thing a person CAN change is his attitude, which is more important than all the weight loss, manscaping etc.

My best friend's husband is 38. He's by no means a supermodel, or even a guy you'd look at twice if you saw him standing across the room. But he still gets hit on a LOT because he's got a personality and an attitude that draws people to him.

[Jake]

Quite interesting indeed, my husband is a former model, and I'm a former porn performer, while we are both considered sexy and handsome (it's not me saying LOL) we have gone over our physical appearance and it's only noticed by other people. For me Alex is a heck of a beautiful guy, while for other he'll be just average, just another blond guy.

I saw Alex in all it's natural form, when we first met he threw up on me, I cleaned his vomit so many time, I watched him take dumps so many times, I cured him when having cold, and I've seen everything that should not be seen from him. Porn movies showing those awesome guys do not show reality, beautiful or not they are human, they have diseases, they get sick. If he's not showering for three days he stinks just like the rest of us. If I fuck him while he hasn't enema his ass you can be sure some chocolate will show up.

The vision that people have over beautiful and good looking individual seems always to forget that they are just human.

[East]

I think that his point was that the one thing a person CAN change is his attitude, which is more important than all the weight loss, manscaping etc.

My best friend's husband is 38. He's by no means a supermodel, or even a guy you'd look at twice if you saw him standing across the room. But he still gets hit on a LOT because he's got a personality and an attitude that draws people to him.

I just had my birthday last week...I am now 57. I am not anyone's idea of a model and if I am going to be judged on my appearance I am not going to win any prizes...

YET...I have men try to meet me and flirt with me all the f*ckign time. Seriously...AT MY AGE!!!!!!..if I didn't already have a relationship I could have easily meet a lot of different men for another one....

It has NOTHING AT ALL to do with the way I look one way or the other...and It had nothing at all to do with the way I look when I was younger.

The reason I easily meet men is my attitude...Period.

[Humeinator2]

yeah, sometimes you'll find gay guys who are like that, all like "Hey, he's cute, goodbye old modle" (A.K.A. the "OOOH, SHINEY" Types) other times you'll find the "Loyal" Types (then there are the ones like me the "Easly used and very gullible" type (Though I can also be the "Manipulative type, I am sad to admit))

[Anonymous]

It's great how it's assumed I don't do anything to "improve myself" and that is "the problem"!! I am actually fairly nice looking, 5'11", 162, athletic and fit. So, no, I am not ugly or fat and that's why I've made the "observations" starting this thread.

All you people who say "if you love someone", etc you don't judge only by appearance. Of course not. You must get TO the point of knowing someone before you can love them. I try very hard in relationships and NEVER throw ANY away when there's only "a bump in the road."

It's easy to say it's ME (or any other poster who sees some truth in my observations) that's the problem but that just ignores the reality that's out there because in your "reality" you see it differently. I experience the ageism in the gay community all the time AND see it AND hear others mention it (& their lack of partners). But, of course all these people must be just the unattractive shallow ones who aren't nice people and thus aren't in relationships right? It couldn't be shyness or them not having opportunities for people to get to know them, etc. could it?

This attitude that people aren't happy with themselves is why they're not in relationships is absurd. There are plenty of perfectly nice guys who have difficulties getting dates, partners, etc due to just not fitting the gay stereotype, not being perfect enough, not being the right weight, or tall enough, or having a great job or being extroverts - NOT that there's something wrong with them!

[HumbleTangerine]

I have never met someone who bitched about gay men being superficial, appearance driven who wasn't themselves their own worst problems.

I know you're talking about a personal observation, but it seems kind of unfair to imply that only unattractive-by-their-own-poor-choises or physically unfit people complain about gay superficiality. I think most people are superficial (gay ones included) and I generally take care of myself, make sure my weight is healthy etc.

Although I don't really bitch about it, so maybe that was a bad example...

[Cuddly]

Well.. I'll break down my castle of confidence, just for you.

I hate my voice. I hate it so much I try very hard not to talk. I am terrible at dinnerparties, mainly because of this and the fact that I was raised to not interrupt. That's easier said than done when at one of my husbear's dinnerparties. Him and his friends are all waterfalls of pure talk.
My talking grows as the volume of wine in my glass sinks.

I've got pimples, still. At the age of 25. I know it's relatively normal, but it bothers me and the stress/fear of the impending dinnerparty where I am the awkward guy who doesn't say alot, makes them flare up even more.

I'm a geeky nerd. I love sitting by myself with my thoughts and would actually much prefer living life with just a couple of friends and nobody else, ever.

My spine seems to be shaped strangely, so my butt is more perky than I feel it should be. It makes me look like I'm constantly bending over, ready to take it..... I'm such a gay clown.

I'm lazy beyond reason. I'll postpone a haircut for months because I cannot be bothered to make the 10 seconds long phonecall. This is also made worse by me being so awkward. How can anyone expect me to sit in a chair with a hairdresser trying to make conversation with me for 30 minuttes??... It's a nightmare.

I haven't been to the dentist in 7 years.

I am neglecting my fitness and it's taking its toll. But I'm too lazy and awkward to attend that too, without a trustee friend to guide me through the musclestuds who occupy the machines on a daily basis.

My wrist is the same size today as it was when I was 16. It wasn't manly or large then and it isn't now.

I look like a 15 year old.

I can't grow a beard. I love beards and worship body hair. Meanwhile I'm left with no chest hair and an absolute lack of facial hair. Did I mention I was 25? Wtf is wrong with me?!?!

I could go on.. but I'm going to sit in a dark corner and cry out my anguish over my imperfections.

-

I have a boyfriend though...

[Anonymous]

You have "a perky butt" AND "a boyfriend"?? Who cares about all that other stuff - you're doing pretty good for yourself!

[ETOTE]

I find this very interesting, quite telling and very relevant to this thread....

http://gayspeak.com/showthread.php?p=467588#post467588