don't touch me!!! seriously

[50Plus]

Can you control your contempt and distaste for them until graduation?

[Anonymous]

Can you control your contempt and distaste for them until graduation?

Mostly by jeopardizing their everyday life, or create reasons to insult them, don't worry I stay too cold which stresses them more.

[LJay]

You have a serious reason to go to a doctor. See you general practitioner first and get a reference to a good therapist. Feelings that keep you from being a happy and functioning person need help.

[swalter]

Such a negative response to a family member, any family member, touching you (ie hug, pat on the back, hand on shoulder, etc) is abnormal, and a symptom of a larger, deeper psychiatric problem. You should seek professional help immediately to address this issue, and get to the root of the problem. Physical contact among family and friends is a normal, important part of human social behavior. Go see a doctor and take steps to fix this. Your life can and would be a lot better if you could figure this out and get past it.

[Uneunsae]

It is nothing abnormal when you've been abused by them. Furthermore, it is nothing something we need to "get over" or aim to "correct". Yes, this kind of abuse need the attention of a therapist, but a therapist would never aim to get someone like me comfortable with touching their abusers.

Would you expect a girl to want to hug her rapist? I think not.

That is absurd.

A couple of these posts are extremely insensitive and I doubt if some people can even fathom what it's like to be abused for years and years by your family in ways that three of us have mentioned in this thread. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but it's reality.

Anyway, OP, I am still living with one of my abusers and I can't leave for another year because I'm depending on him to pay for a medically necessary surgery. So I understand what you are going through.

[TimeSage]

It is nothing abnormal when you've been abused by them. Furthermore, it is nothing something we need to "get over" or aim to "correct". Yes, this kind of abuse need the attention of a therapist, but a therapist would never aim to get someone like me comfortable with touching their abusers.

Would you expect a girl to want to hug her rapist? I think not.

That is absurd.

A couple of these posts are extremely insensitive and I doubt if some people can even fathom what it's like to be abused for years and years by your family in ways that three of us have mentioned in this thread. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but it's reality.

Anyway, OP, I am still living with one of my abusers and I can't leave for another year because I'm depending on him to pay for a medically necessary surgery. So I understand what you are going through.

Nothing in the OP hints at abuse. Just a hatred and hatred of being touched. The reasons aren't known and it could indeed be non-abuse issues.

[Uneunsae]

Yes, the entire context of the OP hinted towards it, especially this part in bold:

However, I have very much physical contact with my friends which I enjoy deeply. As for strangers I'm forced to shake hands with, I go wash mine ASAP. It's annoying me and I can't control it. Or maybe I just hate my family so deeply, they never ever hugged me before nor showed me any love and care. If my case depends on my age, I'm under 22 years old, and I'm so impatient to get as far away from them as I can and live on my own.

Then, the OP came back and verified that there was, in fact, abuse.

[East]

I totally understand...I would freak if anyone in my family touched me....

When I first met my therapist many years ago I spouted off about not wanting to talk about my mom or dad to let her know my "boundaries"...

She was cool about it as I basically gave her a road map and a lot of insight which led her to ask me before I left...

"If your mom or dad were standing across the room with their arms open and ready to hug you...how would you feel?"

Well.. put myself in that position and I got the chills (the bad kind)...I also wanted to barf even thinking about it and I let her know that any kind of touch from either one of them would not be welcome....

She said "GOOD...that is what I thought...but I have to ask you one more question...""For two people who repulse you and make your skin crawl...why do you spend so much time trying to get their approval?"

...best question she ever asked me....

[dynamodean]

Looks like I'm one of the few "odd man out" in this thread. I don't mind physical contact (of platonic nature) between myself and friends and family members. There is one guy, however, in my family that I don't want touching me, but there is a story for that...

[Aike]

Hang in there until you can move out and start an independent life. Cut ties to your family if you wish. You don't have obligations towards people who have abused you.

As for the touching issue, as Uneunsae and Bowyn already said, it's only logical to not want to be touched by people you don't like. But keep on monitoring the situation. If, when you've already moved out, you're still phobic of shaking hands with strangers etc. and you're bothered about this, it would be a good idea to get into therapy.

Good luck!