It's not always easy being different. But if that's your destiny, you should embrace it, otherwise you'll be miserable. I never really cared what most people think so I just follow my heart.
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Yes I want to embrace being different even though my parents say being different is bad and even mental ill, how about that? They just ride the bandwagon when it comes to being socially acceptable or not. I don't know how I am going to make it or if I'm even going to make it or not.
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Swanny Wrote:Yes I want to embrace being different even though my parents say being different is bad and even mental ill, how about that? They just ride the bandwagon when it comes to being socially acceptable or not. I don't know how I am going to make it or if I'm even going to make it or not.
What's important is what YOU want. You're not going to be more or less accepted if you cut off your dick and make what's left look like a vagina.
Stop giving a damn about what everybody else thinks or wants from you and start looking at what YOU (AND ONLY YOU!!! IGNORING EVERYBODY ELSE!) wants.
You sound crazy confused, which is tragic and frustrating to read. It's obvious that you're torn up about this, but once you start on hormonal treatment and cosmetical surgery, there's no going back.
There's nothing wrong with being a skinny guy with long hair. There's nothing wrong with being born a man but growing into a woman either. But one is reversible, the other isn't.
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Swanny Wrote:Yes I want to embrace being different even though my parents say being different is bad and even mental ill, how about that? They just ride the bandwagon when it comes to being socially acceptable or not. I don't know how I am going to make it or if I'm even going to make it or not.
I think a lot of your problem is dealing with your parents programming than it is actual gender identity confusion. You can be gay, and a MAN, who loves and sleeps with a MAN. You don't have to conform to any antiquated notions of what's Masculine or Feminine, and you don't have to be a female to be with men.
Just be YOU, as you are, attracted to other males.
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Reading this thread, I think you have some strange of ideas of what makes a woman and what is feminine. Going by your ideas, it seems that Rachel Zoe and Denise Richards would be women and someone like Melissa McCarthy would be a man. Femininity does not equal being thin. Being a woman does not equal being skinny. If that is what you believe, I'm not sure your ready for this type of transition. You're not even there yet and you're already buying into some awful cultural expectations of beauty that many women painfully struggle with over a lifetime attempting to maintain weights that might not be healthy for their body type. Your posts are kind of all over the place and I am not sure you know what you want, so I am going to suggest some gender identity counseling before making any body changes including any type of surgery, hormone therapy, or even any serious weight loss.
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I am going to respond to this thread as a woman who seriously considered transitioning to male for the longest time.
Based on what you have said, YOU WILL BE WORSE OFF AS A WOMAN, PRESSUREWISE. Do you have any idea what women are like to each other? "She has too much body hair" they say because you skipped shaving ONE DAY. "She's too fat" they say, because your bones aren't visible through your skin. "She's too masculine, doesn't even look like a girl" they say, because you are a little bit more masculinely framed (despite having DD size tits... yeah, those don't make you look feminine it seems). And this is when they are being nice.
Now, another point. Do you have any idea how much MORE OF A TABOO it is considered to be (here in the south, especially, I'm from TN) for someone to be trans than to just be gay? Gay people are put through a lot, and I understand you feel you'll be happier as a woman in this moment. But the truth is, trans people can be denied even basic rights like using the toilet at their workplace... or anywhere else public for that matter. Since your concern is public opinion, you really need to put more thought into this, as public opinion and pressure will be HARDER to deal with if you transition than they will be if you are just yourself and are gay.
I'm not saying absolutely don't transition, because for some people it is really what they have to do to be true to themselves. What I AM saying is, you need to think about the pros AND the cons of transitioning, and you need to think about whether or not that's really what you want to do with your life. For at least 5 to 6 years I thought I wanted to transition. I thought "I'll be happier as a man," "I'll be criticized less as a man," "people will stop pressuring me to be X and Y if I'm a man." Now, over the past two years, I've realized I'm happy as a woman, and a somewhat masculine one at that. People here don't really like it, they are much like those in Texas. They like it even less that I am with a girl... but you know what? Fuck them. I did loads of research and soul searching over the years and found who I am and where I belong in life and how I belong... and that's what you need to do too.
Don't make a decision for sure about transitioning any time soon. Think it through. Do your research, and I mean LOTS of research. Research the process of transitioning, research the struggles trans people face, research what it's like to be a woman post-op, research loads of things related to sex itself, research and think about it and think about you and give yourself a few years at least to make this decision. Get away from your parents before you commit to it, and to a more diverse and progressive locale, and see if just being a more feminine man is enough for you. If you do all that and still want to transition, then, and only then, should you go through with it. Don't be someone you're not because you feel too pressured. That will just make you miserable.
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I'm sorry if I am hard to understand.
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Swanny Wrote:I'm sorry if I am hard to understand.
You're not... unfortunately I don't think you're understanding our points.
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I'm not hard to understand or I am not sorry? Which one was it, and i'm getting the point.
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Swanny Wrote:I'm not hard to understand or I am not sorry? Which one was it, and i'm getting the point.
I truly hope you know that, and I think it's safe for me to say this about everyone in the thread, no one here is trying to come down on you or make you feel criticized. We're just listening to the reasons you are telling us for why you are unhappy with yourself, and no one here seems to unconditionally believe that the problem (or the solution) is your gender and gender reassignment. We all struggle with self-image issues and self-esteem issues to some extent, but the solution to most of them is internal, in our own heads and with our confidence, not with surgery or drastic changes to our bodies or appearance. I think everything you've told us here would not be solved by changing your genders. As many people have pointed out, many of those issues, like pressures based on what people expect of someone of your gender, will be worse as a woman.
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