How to get a boyfriend?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

On a more serious note...

None of my exes happened when I was actively searching for love.

In fact more than one of them happened when I had sworn off of love, relationships, men, the human species....

Most of mine I met outside of typical gay environs. I met them at private social gatherings without the host forcing us on each other (oh do beware the helpful straight friend who hosts a dinner party for four - its a set up!), at work, at AA meeting (yes we drunks use AA for more than just keeping ourselves from drinking all the alcohol in town....).

I think there is a special magic to love that just requires it to happen on its own...Few people I know who have forced the issue, actively went out on a mission to land a Significant Other, have had good results.

Another aspect here is one has to be comfortable with being alone. Alone doesn't necessarily damn you to loneliness.

It appears that people who are comfortable with being alone exude this sense of confidence that is more attractive than the desperate active hunter....

My advice, let love happen in its own time... It will happen, usually when you least expect it, often enough when you don't really want it to happen just now...

[Bluelight]

Just don't shower for like, two weeks. Your natural aromas will attract the men, and they will come bounding at you, like in that axe commercial

I have to agree with everyone who says it's better to just be happy being single. It's easier like that.

[Uneunsae]

Talking about why I'm not dating was actually pretty serious, a sensitive topic, and not easy for me. Just saying.

I agree that love happens when we're not trying to force it and have a strong belief what we meet good partners while doing things we love and are good at. And single life is not something to be taken for granted.

[Aike]

I'm hoping that I'll meet some special guy in grad school. Looking forward to a lot of "studying" together.

I was hoping that I'd meet somebody at the university as well. But it turned out that about 90% of sociology (my major) students are female >_> I've only met one gay guy so far. And he's really annoying. I hope you'll have better luck.

[Buzzer]

I also have a thing for doctors.

Dat roleplay potential!

[ChadCoxRox]

Talking about why I'm not dating was actually pretty serious, a sensitive topic, and not easy for me. Just saying.

I agree that love happens when we're not trying to force it and have a strong belief what we meet good partners while doing things we love and are good at. And single life is not something to be taken for granted.

TOTALLY understood I think. And don't feel pressured with the disclosure and sharing here either. It is nice to get some emotional support though I suppose. We LOVE you dude and even more when you try to entertain thoughts/feelings of being welcome or whatever on GS! Let's stay together as we journey!!

I wish all patience, tolerance and endurance!

[bilkiba]

You need to love yourself before loving someone else. To me, that means embracing who and what you are - including all your warts. I am my own best friend and I love myself. I have told others that what I seek in someone else is what I see inside myself.

Before I say what I'm going to about this, I want to be very clear that I'm not saying this is a bad ideal. It is in fact very useful to many people.

However, it is not always true. I have been able to start accepting and liking myself because of having someone else to love. I was in a very dark place when I met my girlfriend (of going on 2 years now) and had sworn off all romances and absolutely hated myself. But she didn't. I started being able to be a happier person and find good qualities about myself because I realized that in order for someone like her to see anything in me I couldn't be a bad person in all the ways I seemed to be. Now I actually value myself and have started overcoming a depression I'd been battling for years.

Loving oneself does tend to be an attractive quality however, so if you can manage that on your own, OP, then it should definitely help. Just so long as you don't become too in love with yourself to admit when you're wrong (which you will be sometimes, everyone is). Also OP, if you're really desperate, you could try local dating sites.

[Swanny]

ok I understand now...