Iceblink Wrote:When you feel the need to state in forums who you are not attracted to instead of who you are and when in a dating profile you have to put something like "NO ASIANS. NO BLACKS," (because they always seem to have the need to put it in all caps), as opposed to saying something like "I'm looking for a nice white or Latino guy," I do question whether or not you are racist.
A tip for those of you have profiles on site or apps or take out dating ads, stop with telling what you don't want, "No Femmes/No Asians/No fats," because that just makes you look like an a-hole. Stop being negative and instead use the space to tell people what you are looking for.
So agree, in many website I visited and found profiles that would described themselves as being all nice and open and at the very last they would write in bold character NO ASIANS, NO BLACK and to be honest that did insult me. While I may not be interested in my own nationality (or let's say that they would not be my first choice), I would not reject them or tell the worst which to be may not sound racist but it does sound XENOPHOBIC when someone say I don't think that Asian or Black or Brown as being attractive. They may not be attractive to YOU but that doesn't mean that they aren't attractive at all. While choosing the perfect term such as "I am not attracted to Black or Asians or any other nationality" will sound much more respectuous and will not insult anyone.
I have no problem with rejection, heck god knows I have been rejected often, and I myself have rejected many that the ONE who says I do not find Black man attractive would be chasing after what I've rejected.
Iceblink got it right, those NO BLACKS, NO ASIANS or even I've seen NO ETHNIC in some occasion were extremely hurtful, insulting and pejorative because believe it or not A CAUCASIAN is also an ETHNY and if you compare your number versus the so called "other ethny" like BLACK and ASIAN or INDIAN you're THE MINORITY.
I served that once to a guy who has wrote no ethny and he realized how very offensive this statement was and he apologized openly. Then he went on saying that he hated it when some ethnic people were hitting on him, but he WAS IN NO WAY RACIST. I asked him if he ever took sometime to discuss with them? He said no. And yes, you guess it I was in a crusade of making him realize that while he doesn't want to be labelled racist, its behavior and comment would be taken as racist, mostly when some guys are saying hello, and he would just ignore them or write a FAT NO INTERESTED. The most interesting part is that is profile was more written to look for new friends than a boyfriend or a one night stands. So I end up asking, if I understand your profile you're looking for friends? Now why in the world would you say no black, no asians, no etchnic if all you want is friendship, and yet you don't want to be called racist. He couldn't answer that one because, he was just burned lying in its profile which was not at all a seek for friendship and finally I explained to him the different forms of racism, which are also xenophobia.
The discussion lasted more than a hour, because at first he tried to expediate me, but I came back using my husband account, who is a beautiful blond Australian, and continued the conversation until I reveal who I was.
The dude was racist, but somehow he didn't know the real difinition of racism, the case of ignorance he had. I still speak with him today and he has changed a lot of his xenophobic speeches and even had an asian boyfriend, for which he learned that a penis attached to a white man, black, yellow, red, brown has pretty much the same function on every race and that beauty comes in many colors.
Yes one may not be attracted to some type of people, but saying that they are not attractive, even though you use the personal pronouns "I" is not appropriate and it's insulting. Saying that one race is not attractive, make you a very ugly person... perhaps you believe not to be racist, but you are sure ignorant.
English isn't my first language, it's the third, but I've learned when speaking or writing to use words that will not offend others or at least not generalise a statement even though I was using the "I" form.