16 then and 18 now. Looking for a relationship. Lots of disappointments so far. This won't help you feel any better but it's worth watching and taking into consideration. As mature as we all believe we are at 16 or 18 our brains are still not prepared for long relationships and all that comes with them. Your cerebral cortex is not even functioning at half speed yet and your are incapable of making decisions not based in emotions.
I fell for a guy 4 days short of turning 20. He was 23 and had the smarts to tolerate me for over two years before we went from being friends with benefits into a committed relationship. I can look back now and can see he did the right thing and that I was nowhere near ready.
Humeinator2 Wrote:Actually, #2 was a lost cause, so I broke up with him, then later on, after multiple relationships, came the Fiance #2, and I had been With #1 for a year and four months @.@ I really don't do well at posting when there is a limit to words, sorry
and I moved on when #2 fiance Died so I wouldn't kill myself, because I got REALLY depressed, I screwed up by falling for guy #2 when with Fiance/guy #1, then I went through about 4 boyfriends, each who had some flaw that made me unable to stay with them (mostly not seeming to care about anything but sex) or broke up with me themselves, I get engaged after a month or two to Fiance #2 and was planning to marry him and move to Belaruse to be with him, then he died, and no, I was going to take things slowly with last BF before he screwed up...
Sorry I'm so confusing
Oh, so you actually went through more guys in that short amount of time than I originally thought?! Oh man. lol
The thing is dude, the way you're getting in and out of relationships that quickly is a very, very bad idea. It's like you're allergic to being alone, because you're essentially just jumping from one guy to another. You'll never have ANY time to understand yourself better, as well as understand how relationships work by observing it in 3rd person. Like I said, you need to take proper breaks in between relationships, because with the way you're doing it, you're honestly just setting your relationships up to fail. You had only been with fiance #2 "for a month or two" when you got engaged to him. That wasn't a wise decision at all. I'm sorry you lost him to suicide because he couldn't handle his cancer, but that relationship was bound to end one way or another anyway because you hardly even knew the guy.
I remember being a teenager and "falling madly in love" with my then boyfriend. I was so devastated when we broke up, got quite depressed that I wouldn't even get out of the house, essentially stopped taking care of myself and everything. Because I wasn't out (still not out), I couldn't even tell my family what was going on and they actually thought I was on drugs. But after about a year (I was sad at the time, but I was also busying myself with other things, like hobbies and such), I finally got over him and, looking back, I don't even understand what it was about him that I was so "in love" with. Now I realize I wasn't in love at all. I was just infatuated by and loved being with him, and I also liked that I had a secret boyfriend. Ultimately, it was nothing more than puppy love. Realistically speaking, that relationship had absolutely no future. Because I gave myself a proper break after that breakup, I was able to mature and learn from the experience. You really should do the same instead of just jumping straight to the next guy.
Don't know but you sound like a total teenage slut to me. Not that there is anything wrong with that, only that you should stop calling it "love" and call it what it is: lust and compulsion (aka crushes). No way are you 'ready' for a 'relationship'. Not that you should be. Quite the contrary. You should just get your fill of the candy store and then maybe when you're in your mid 20s you'll be through with all that and ready to begin thinking seriously about settling down.
"I'm loneley, I'm miserable" ... Is there something wrong with me, that is causeing me to be unable to keep a relationship?
YES !
You are relying on others to make you happy. That will never happen. Happiness, like love, starts from within.
Focus on what makes you happy - those things that do not involve others. Start there.
It can be an incredible journey. Although 51, I am just 16 years in to my own personal happiness journey. It does not get dull, it is not boring. It is fantastic.
I make myself miserable, and the only thing that makes me happy is seeing that something I do makes others happy
>.> If it wheren't for the unstable (And, by the day, more clearly shown to be so) emotions I have, maybe I could be a psychiatrist
though the one I went to when I was ten seemed dang crazy to me
and I've noticed something, In every relationship I've been in, I asked them to change less then I changed myself, even if it didn't show
<.< that worries me
I want a shirt that says that
Is funny because, mostly, it's true
and lust = sexual desire right? if so, that isn't the reason I was in the second engagement, he made me laugh, he actually made me cry sometimes how happy he made me, and he knew me better even then the friend I meantioned up there, who knew me for two years, and than some friends I've had most of my life.
Sad, now that I think of it how I told him more about myself than I told anyone else . I trusted him a lot. Now, will I say that Love was the biggest reason I got with him. No, the fact I had him deepset in my heart as a somewhat brotherly figure first is why I was able to say I love him, romantic view cam after it (When we started dating)
and the guy nearly gave me a heart attack once. quite bluntly told me he was rich, then worried I wanted his money, Money is nice, but I told him to screw the money. O.O I'm rambling.... You people here make me feel safe, I don't usualy ramble... not often
>.> but I seriously need that shirt
<.< and to learn to drive so I can get a life
I've been sitting in my room being anti social every day I don't have work (which Is sadly way to often) since I finished high school, my plans to move to canada for college got ruined by my being to slow to apply to SAIT
um, a second thing I need advice on, what's the hardest part of learning to drive? the learning, or the putting it to use? ..... Wow, my pal may be right... I may just have ADHD or ADD, I am scarily easy to distract
I'm terrified of being behind a steering wheel, my great grandma used to fall asleep occassionally when driving, so that may be why, but either way, I'm scared of it
I was terrified of driving because my mother was an alcoholic and almost died several times from driving drunk. Seeing her with stitches, neck braces, etc. was firmly etched in my brain and so I developed a fear of not being able to control a car. Even though I knew it was from her being intoxicated.
Finally, I learned how to drive at age 23 and wished I'd done so sooner. Getting a very small car helped me to gain a strong sense of control which really helped.
Now, I love to drive and even want to ride a motorcycle. I hate dealing with cars, though, so I'll be more than happy to sell mine when I move to SF and rely on public transportation.
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Capricorn
