skin color

[Buzzer]

put something like "NO ASIANS. NO BLACKS,"

Someone went straight for the elephant in the middle of the room and nailed a bullseye.

It would be a lot easier to accept all of these "it's NOT prejudiced, it's just my INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCE!" if, when you went out into the dating world and the online dating scene, you didn't see so many people with "exactly the same preference" over and over, which all just so happened to magically match what the dominant beauty standard more or less tells you (largely through omission) is at the bottom of the attractiveness totem.

There's a thin line between "I just tend to not gravitate towards purple people" being said on a mass scale by many different people at an abnormally frequent rate being a matter of difference in individual preference, and the manifestation of a culture-wide prejudice.

I think the reason people get very defensive and insist on innocence is because they don't feel they chose their preferences, and consciously, they almost certainly didn't. But that's where I'd go back to my earlier post in the thread where I talked about challenging where these conclusions came from with some honest questions, rather than simply accepting them as "that's just how I am, there's nothing wrong with it." It's not saying you have to force yourself to want to sleep with everybody. But don't "be okay" with having no idea where such pronounced exclusions came from. Ask where they came from.

[bilkiba]

I personally run on the assumption that most people, regardless of race (or gender) are just ugly. There are exceptions to that in every race and gender, from what I've gathered, and I've not really noticed any one race having more exceptions than the others. But that's just me.

[Jake]

When you feel the need to state in forums who you are not attracted to instead of who you are and when in a dating profile you have to put something like "NO ASIANS. NO BLACKS," (because they always seem to have the need to put it in all caps), as opposed to saying something like "I'm looking for a nice white or Latino guy," I do question whether or not you are racist.

A tip for those of you have profiles on site or apps or take out dating ads, stop with telling what you don't want, "No Femmes/No Asians/No fats," because that just makes you look like an a-hole. Stop being negative and instead use the space to tell people what you are looking for.

So agree, in many website I visited and found profiles that would described themselves as being all nice and open and at the very last they would write in bold character NO ASIANS, NO BLACK and to be honest that did insult me. While I may not be interested in my own nationality (or let's say that they would not be my first choice), I would not reject them or tell the worst which to be may not sound racist but it does sound XENOPHOBIC when someone say I don't think that Asian or Black or Brown as being attractive. They may not be attractive to YOU but that doesn't mean that they aren't attractive at all. While choosing the perfect term such as "I am not attracted to Black or Asians or any other nationality" will sound much more respectuous and will not insult anyone.

I have no problem with rejection, heck god knows I have been rejected often, and I myself have rejected many that the ONE who says I do not find Black man attractive would be chasing after what I've rejected.

Iceblink got it right, those NO BLACKS, NO ASIANS or even I've seen NO ETHNIC in some occasion were extremely hurtful, insulting and pejorative because believe it or not A CAUCASIAN is also an ETHNY and if you compare your number versus the so called "other ethny" like BLACK and ASIAN or INDIAN you're THE MINORITY.

I served that once to a guy who has wrote no ethny and he realized how very offensive this statement was and he apologized openly. Then he went on saying that he hated it when some ethnic people were hitting on him, but he WAS IN NO WAY RACIST. I asked him if he ever took sometime to discuss with them? He said no. And yes, you guess it I was in a crusade of making him realize that while he doesn't want to be labelled racist, its behavior and comment would be taken as racist, mostly when some guys are saying hello, and he would just ignore them or write a FAT NO INTERESTED. The most interesting part is that is profile was more written to look for new friends than a boyfriend or a one night stands. So I end up asking, if I understand your profile you're looking for friends? Now why in the world would you say no black, no asians, no etchnic if all you want is friendship, and yet you don't want to be called racist. He couldn't answer that one because, he was just burned lying in its profile which was not at all a seek for friendship and finally I explained to him the different forms of racism, which are also xenophobia.

The discussion lasted more than a hour, because at first he tried to expediate me, but I came back using my husband account, who is a beautiful blond Australian, and continued the conversation until I reveal who I was.

The dude was racist, but somehow he didn't know the real difinition of racism, the case of ignorance he had. I still speak with him today and he has changed a lot of his xenophobic speeches and even had an asian boyfriend, for which he learned that a penis attached to a white man, black, yellow, red, brown has pretty much the same function on every race and that beauty comes in many colors.

Yes one may not be attracted to some type of people, but saying that they are not attractive, even though you use the personal pronouns "I" is not appropriate and it's insulting. Saying that one race is not attractive, make you a very ugly person... perhaps you believe not to be racist, but you are sure ignorant.

English isn't my first language, it's the third, but I've learned when speaking or writing to use words that will not offend others or at least not generalise a statement even though I was using the "I" form.

[Anocxu]

So what? If I get bored with him I'll just dye him another color.

How about "Institution" Blue?

[East]

I used to welcome rejection when I was a slut...didn't even care why because all it meant to me is that I don't have to waste my time.....

There are billions of people on the planet...why bother yourself with the asshats? It sucks when you have to figure out someone you are interested in is an asshat by yourself so when they advertise the fact....RIGHT ON! I wouldn't date (or even f*ck) anyone who said any of those things in a profile even if they didn't apply to me....because it says so much about them...and it isn't pretty (BARF)....

Ironically....They might be keeping a lot of other people away from them that they deem worthy .......and not so ironically end up with exactly who they deserve.

[50Plus]

Nothing good can come of commenting on a thread about race, or religion, or politics, or suicide, or the best make of automobile, or fags vs lesbians, or pre-op vs post-op, or femme vs twink.

Yet somehow I want to, just to piss of them commie pinko fags that we are taught we are to hate.