Getting mixed signals from my straight friend

[TimothyC93]

I need some advice on some things that go on between me and my straight friend..

ive known him for 6 years. for the first two i wasnt out yet. but apparently i was always one of those guys who you could always tell that i was gay. as soon as we became close friends he always took me out to eat and would never let me pay for myself, not once.

he even volunteered with me at my church for vacation bible school and drove me every night. Whenever he would show up late i would jokingly walk up to him and hug him and tell him i was g'ad he showed up. he would laugh and blush and hug me back with one hand.

this mutual girl-friend between the two of us told me she wanted to know how big is "package" was (she asked me this through facebook chatting) i texted him jokingly saying that the girl wanted to know how big he was, trying to act like his wingman. He calls me saying, hold on im going in the bathroom to measure. trying to play it cool i started detesting the situation saying i didnt want to hear this. then he tells me his size, after a couple seconds i just say ugh okay. he laughs and asks if that his size was small? i was blushing so bad and just made up an excuse to get off the phone.

small incident, i forgot how but he showed me hos pubic area to show me that he does trim.

DURING THE TIME THIS HAPPENED I WAS NOT PUT OF THE CLOSET BUT HE ACCUSED ME OF BEING GAY THE ENTIRE TIME.

well he joins the navy and leave for 4 years. during the first year he was gone i came out to everyone. he was fine but would make small jokes. i dont see or talk to him much for 3 years while he was gone.

its 2014 and hes permanently back home. we start hanging out again not so often since he has an actual career now. we hang out usually every saturday and go out of town to eat, he still trys to pay for me but i insist im not a teenager anymore and ill pay for myself. and right after the diner we drove an hr back home.

he always grabs my hips and my arms. he smacks my ass and if he doesnt get a good enough of a slap the first time he fights for a re-do slap.

a month ago he came over wasted to borrow a dvd and was very touchy feely with me asking why we dont hang out that much anymore. then wants me to come over to watch the dvd with him but i say no im good and send him on his way. (he lives across the street there was no driving involved)

nothing so strong has happened since but now hes adopted this thing about lifting up his shirt to scratch his stomach a lot infront of me.

so idk advice please???

[TimothyC93]

anyone here to help?

[Humeinator2]

I get the feeling he may not be completly straight, or maybe just curious...
then again, he may just be like me and likes to make his friends squirm, not to be maen, just as a playfull thing, so that could be it
If you think he's cute/handsom/hot/attractive and like his personality, maybe you should just ask?

[AdamAndWill]

Will: ^^^^ what Humeinator2 said --- JUST ASK HIM!!!!

[Humeinator2]

do try to be subtle if you ask though, being to blunt would be a bad Idea

[Yarazaro]

Maybe you should have gone over and watched the movie. I've had a guy from work who i expected was into me, and eventually he did admit it. He was a "straight" married guy so there was no chance he was getting anything from me. You should test the waters though.

[Buzzer]

He's just a friend. You are reading into signals that would be there between any two straight friends.

If there's more to it, he would or will make that apparent.

[MikeW]

Straight guys can be dick teases. Sometimes unintentionally but often quite intentionally. It's always difficult to say what, if anything, any of the 'signaling' means. If he is like most GUYS he's horny most of the time, so what are his prospects with *anyone*? Does he have a girl friend? If not, and you're out and gay and right across the street, who knows what is going on in his mind. Who knows what experiences he may have had while in the Navy, too. So.. I duno. I'd try and talk with him about it at least.

[Iceblink]

Difficult to tell, because we are seeing this story through the eyes of a guy who is obviously interested in this person, because if this wasn't so we would have never seen this thread here. Remember, intimate affection between close friends is not that uncommon, and intimate does not necessarily have the same meaning as sexual. A lot of "bros" touch a lot. A lot of men have no problem not wearing a shirt or lifting their shirt when among their male friends. I guess I'm going to go against the general consensus here, with the exception of Buzzer, and say leave it alone. You risk changing the dynamics of a friendship and this is not just a gay thing, but a friendship thing in general because between a straight man and a straight woman when one expresses an interest in the other and the other does not have the same interest and the both of them have been friends for quite a time, the friendship often never goes back to what it once was.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Asking is always better than guessing.