18 yo male, need advice on my sexuality PLEASE

[strangecolour]

Im 18, male, straight (as I think) with a masturbation addiction. I began getting mentally stimulated from seeing an erection in porn, am I the only one? I feel alone and have no one to talk to who will understand. I like girls, always have, but now a days it's really making me feel like I'm gay or something though I don't like guys sexually/romantically. For some time i've been watching videos with just women, dancing, stripping or masturbating, pictures and etc. But then sometimes I get the urge to see M/F action, and when I do, I'll get more erect when I see the guys erection, then I'll start watching mostly handjob/blowjob videos.

The mental images of those videos will pop in my head randomly against my will and I'll get erect, making me want to masturbate to more videos. My erection towards women grew less after around 5-6 years of watching porn (started when I was aorund 8 or 9) even though my attraction to them never faded, it's like seeing erections substituted women almost because I get instantly up when I see a female giving a handjob or blowjob, seeing the guys (or transsexuals) erection, but it doesn't do anything for me as far as desire goes, it just arouses me and makes me masturbate And I don't search up images of men or penises, I never wanted to as in how I search pics of girls or pornstars, It's just in the videos.

The definition of an erection states how the male is physically/mentally stimulated, and blood from the brain flows to the penis if im not mistaken, something about vessels. So seeing an erect penis stimulates me, my question is, what caused erect penises to stimulate me? does it mean im not straight anymore? how do you define a guy who likes females but is stimulated by the view of an erect penis?

I need someone to help me.

[MikeW]

Take a deep breath, try to relax. On this forum at least we've pretty much settled that sexual orientation is a continuum, not a fixed either/or (either you are gay or you are straight or you are bi). Although our language implies that it does, it really doesn't work that way. IOW, so you get aroused by erections. SO WHAT! I identify as gay and can get turned on by pretty women! o.O You know you're straight because you know you're not interested in men and are interested in women. So what is the problem? The only problem is you find yourself feeling something and then begin to think there is something 'weird' about you. There isn't! Sorry! You're just a normal human being who gets stimulated by seeing something… just as you could get stimulated by someone (almost anyone) rubbing your dick, right?

So, my advice, don't worry about it.

BTW, welcome to the forum.

[dhewson98]

Watching women in porn might have just gotten old for you, and see M-on-W is just something new. Your brain might just like something new. I wouldn't worry about it.

[MikeW]

If you want you can take this (or other online) Kinsey tests… it will give you some (not very accurate) idea of where you are on the 'spectrum'. http://vistriai.com/kinseyscaletest

Asking why we get turned on by something is difficult to answer. You'd need to go to a therapist for quite a while to figure it out. (It isn't like there are 'pat' answers to such things; we humans are complicated.) Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it overly much. BUT if you find yourself really feeling like your sexual addiction is beginning to interfere with living a happy life, then you *should* speak with either a Dr or a therapist about it. Sexual addiction is a whole other issue from what 'turns us on'.

[ChadCoxRox]

OK, some deeper conversation about this from someone who has been EXACTLY where you describe for many years.

Learning to be open to exploring "you" and learning about yourself from all angles is an admirable characteristic. Do not deny fear but do not misunderstand fear. It has lots of force when misunderstood. When fear is faced and studied and "worked with" it loses the force and YOU become more powerful. The old force versus power theory.

I'm not saying "go with your instinct" and "enjoy the cock lust". FAR from it.

I'm suggesting that in the bigger picture you look, over time (months, years) at the processes of happy/sad, attracted/repulsed from many perspectives to help put any obsession with this subject into a broader and more realistic perspective. It's like watching the "high gloss" type porn all the time and then coming to expect and believe that sex in real life should be like that. W.R.O.N.G. Learning how to be at peace with ideas, beliefs, values and resulting perceptions makes a HUGE difference in our reactions versus our ability to respond (response-ability). REREAD this last sentence until you digest it for all time!

At 18 you will best benefit from seeing you have so much opportunity and time ahead for evolving and growing. Decisions today may likely be changed many times. Don't lose the fun of "making life" day-by-day because of allowing an obsession to develop and have "control." If that seems to be happening over and over and bothers you the strongest power you have is to find someone you can trust and work through it in relationship rather than alone. I mean someone "really" trustworthy...like professional... clergy, licensed counselor, family doctor ...these types make "keeping it trustworthy" a big deal and part of the relationship.

Best wishes and stay connected to GS!!!!! We'll be family over time I promise!

[matty7]

seeing a sexual act is a turn on for anyone, the naked body is a turn on or otherwise we wouldn't want to have sex I guess - doesn't mean your even remotely gay so I wouldn't stress yourself too much about it, at the very basic level its a chemical reaction in the body to stimulus which is what u have described, plus you say its an erection when u are watching porn involving women, maybe its just your desires of wanting blow jobs etc - if you were gay then the porn would be men with men and that's not what you are watching m8

[ChadCoxRox]

seeing a sexual act is a turn on for anyone, the naked body is a turn on or otherwise we wouldn't want to have sex I guess - doesn't mean your even remotely gay so I wouldn't stress yourself too much about it, at the very basic level its a chemical reaction in the body to stimulus which is what u have described, plus you say its an erection when u are watching porn involving women, maybe its just your desires of wanting blow jobs etc - if you were gay then the porn would be men with men and that's not what you are watching m8

I agree. I get all kinds of thoughts and feelings when I see some beautiful ladies or hot men and I know that if I "entertained" or "nurtured" those thoughts and feelings with further actions it could easily amount to more. I've learned that it is ME making the decisions and choices. I've learned over time to not do that if it is not what I specifically choose, especially if a committed and monogamous relationship is that choice!

[StingRay]

strangecolour, Im straight and just 9 years older than you. These guys are telling you right. At 19 and going without sex I was as bad as you are now and most guys are too. And there's nothing you can do about it except burn it off day by day. one time for dinner I had a pork chop cut strange and looked like a vagina in the middle. That was enough to get me hard and I was in basic training in a barrack with over thirty other guys and no privacy too jack off. I still see guys dick that look like weapons and fantasize about seeing them in action. No big deal. Just deal with, flush it and get back to reality for as long as you can until you need to do it again.

[Pix]

A lot of straight guys get horny seeing penises. I forget the psychology of it but if you want to look for it I know they talk about it here (it's about 5 pages, you can click through them searching for the word "penis" as I think that's the word they keep using):

http://www.utne.com/mind-and-body/21st-c...z39kmh3OFG

I'm too lazy to find the relevant parts myself at the moment.

[Buzzer]

As others have already covered, many straight guys become aroused seeing or thinking about penises because it reminds them of sex, their own body, and their own sexual pleasure. If you don't have an urge to do something with a guy then sexuality isn't really in question here.

I think the bigger issue is how compulsive you made it sound to constantly be feeding the need to jerk off to porn, and your self-acknowledged masturbation addiction.