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advice
#1
My family is driving me insane, they stress me out so badly, I am getting massive headaches and wanting to punch walls.
Between a Mom who always makes me the bad guy in everything that goes wrong that has me involved, A 10 year old sister who does not have a shred of respect for me or our mom, and a step dad who has no patience with anything that doesn't go how he expects it, my ability to handle them is wearing dangerously thing.
What should I do? find a friend to stay with, if I have any? I could do that and try to get a ride to work from them.
Or maybe try to move in with my great grandparents? they may be a bit biggoted, but they don't stress me out too much, and they live in a reasonable distance from a few places I could work, and they could drive me or teach me to drive myself, if I didn't want to walk....
I just don't know what to do right now...
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#2
keep on keeping on, when I was younger I lived with 12 people in a 4 bedroom house. I got stressed out real quick, no privacy or nothing. What helped me a lot was writing a journal and putting down your thoughts and feelings into it.
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#3
It's true family is like hell sometimes, and I'm sorry to say your mom isn't a good one, well mine neither. So save yourself a lot of pain and avoid becoming a collateral damage if you're not already their victim, go ahead live at least more independently, find a job and start building up your own life. You're not a kid anymore, and eventually they'll realize how much you've endured because of them, if not, leave them behind and move on. One year later I'm gonna do the same.
Anyways, my heart is with you Smile, best of luck with your choices Wavey.
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#4
You've already denied that you allow your parents to rule your life (in your other thread about embarrassing questions). But the truth is. You do.

You do not -have to- tolerate -anything- that they do. Take it from the guy who emancipated from his parent's home at 16. I have lived in slums. I have lived on the street and on friend's couches. I put myself through highschool. And thru Uni (although not quite finished yet). And, by 20, I had signed a mortgage which I have never once been late in paying. I work FOUR (sometimes five, sometimes three) part time jobs on a regular basis, in order to pay my bills.

No one -has to- allow their parents control over their lives once they are of a legal age (or legal status) to be independent.

Thus, you allow it.

You allow it BECAUSE they are your support system. This isn't a bad reason to allow such behavior. You depend on them for a home. For paying bills associated with that home. Possibly for food and other things as well. You depend on them to provide this stability (the emotional stability is obviously not there, but the HOME is there) in order to achieve something. (Schooling? A better job? A vehicle? etc.)

What should you do? You need to assess your priorities. You need to decide -why- you continue to stay with them now that you're of legal age to leave.... and you need to assess what your options are if you decide to leave.

You also probably then need an "exit strategy". A plan both financially (income and bill considerations) as well as security wise (home, getting yourself a bank account set up, etc). A realistic exit strategy that can remove you from that environment permanently. This exit strategy requires you to locate **at the very least** your social security card. With your SS card, you can then obtain a copy of your birth certificate. With these two IDs, you can then proceed to work at getting a state ID (you get this at the DMV. It looks like a drivers license but is just official ID), setting up a bank account, etc.
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#5
I know WHY I do it, because I would litterally breakdown completly and go completly insane, if not jusr Die, living on theh streats, even If I had a lot of jobs, an dif I had a lot of jobs, I'd have little ME time, which is typically spent with my few always there emotional anchors like my friend from Canada, and if I had little time to talk to them, I'd again go insane, because I am dependant on others to help me control my emotional stability, becasue my severe axiety problems make that very difficult, since almost everything that can make someone nervous causes me to get panicked, thus, I am forced to endure, for the sake of my life and mental stability, until I can manage to find somewhere to live that I would have the emotional/mental stability I need
Now, I am thinking again that my friend from Indiana is best because though they are mean and will pick on anyone, they only really pick on people they care about, and they can deal with me very well (Because all of them have some problem or another)
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#6
if they let me stay, It will be untill I manage to move to Canada (If I get a job there first) or somewhere near thenm or another person/other people who can support me emotionally
I have a job, am going for a second, if I make the money I need, I'm contacting the people I need to to get a job in Canada( There are a few I think I qualify for, but I have to ask the people in charge directly) and then if I get the Job, I'll get a visa and passport, and I'll be gone to there, where I'll be able to see my friend who has supported me mentally and emotionally for two years (maybe more, but my memory isn't alwways the greatest) and has, even though I've fought with him so many times, never dropped me like the pile od shit I can be...
I think I like my plan of living with my friend
She's Bipolar, and and her family members all have a problem, and I always felt like I fit in there...
Yup, I have a goal.... If I don't get distracted...
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#7
and my parents have my SS card locked up so I can't get to it, Or I'd have it (somewhere in my room at least .. Kidding of course, it'd be on my computer desk in an obvious location, when at home, and when not, in a wallet in my front pocket)
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#8
Dude I mean this in the nicest way possible...stop making excuses for your situation, for the things you want and cannot obtain and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Only -YOU- can change your situation, only -YOU- can make the difference. No one is going to just hand it to you.

So make a plan and act on it. No excuses, no blaming others...just do it.

If you fall on your face, then you pick yourself up and find another course of action. But sitting around making excuses isn't going to get you anywhere. You have to take an ACTIVE role in your own life if you ever expect it to get any better than this.
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#9
I AM trying to take action
I just have a bad way of showing it
and thinking into things too much
and getting easily distracted
Speaking of which you and TwisttheLeaf do -that- a lot
why is that? the -- confuses me sometimes, I'm guessing you use them for emphasis, but it is still confusoing...
Sorry, that's been bugging me since forever and a aday
Anyway, I've given everyone enough of a headache for now, and I must go to sleep now, I have a wedding to attend tomorrow night, and I need to be at my most ready
might go cute guy hunting while I'm there, as a distraction from my negative thoughts and relative lonelyness
Goodnight
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#10
Well,

for what it is worth.
I would suggest moving out of your parents' house and getting an apartment of your own with a roommate.

You can find one and two bedrooms for $450-$550/month in the DFW.
You can also easily get a job anywhere doing anything down there.

You could easily get a job at Cowboy's stadium making $8.75-$10.00/hr just starting out for example.
Combined with using Swagbucks and donating blood plasma, that right there is $1,000/month.

You could get a job making $10-$12 working at Panda Express or In n Out.
Just throwing that out there.
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