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My vacation has come to an end and I will have to start going to classes tmr.
I have SAD (social anxiety disorder) and thus have problems walking around in uni, attending lecture rooms and classes.
I have done badly for 2 semesters and almost got kicked out of my course.
I really have to pass my modules this coming semester to remain in the course.
The fact that I don't have any friends in uni also makes it more painful.
Any words of encouragement for me guys?
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God. I remember when I... was ... just so uncomfortable in public places. I still have bits of that, but something is different.
I couldn't tell you what has changed, but I notice that... IDK... I'm like... a turd.
Just be a turd. Don't worry about being graceful and calculated, just....
Okay. Imagine two different situations:
1. You go to classes on a day that you are extremely sick, but you know you have to be there. Your nose and eyes are watering, and you just... you don't feel awful, but you feel meh.
2. You go to classes like it's any other day.
In option one, you probably care a lot less about what everyone thinks, and everyone around you. So pretend to be sick. Like... in your mindset, just... be sick. Be slow, be calm, relax... and just.. be sick.
That could be completely awful advice and maybe even unrelatable But that's how I view my experience.
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Remember the end goal?
Go to class. Pass your courses. Graduate. Get a job. Get your own place. MOVE AWAY FROM FAMILY.
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Walk as if you own the world. Behave as if you don't care who owns the world.
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Will: My college hadstudent counseling services to helped with adjustment issues. Does your uni have anything like that? There was also a pretty active "Office of LGBT Affairs" (dumb name, sounds like a place to go look for hook-ups lol) but there were peer counselors there.
Maybe you could find something, an activity or volunteer work, that really interests you. If you're passionate about something, it can help you step outside of yourself.
But please, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Do your best, it's all anyone can ask of you.
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Shower and dress fashionably; gorgeous but without being too white-tie like. Fabulous but forgetable. Sit in a place from where you can follow the lecture. All you have to say to the people next to you is goodmorning or hi. Or even nothing, but saying hi is nice. I like being nice. Don't give a fuck if you sit next to or in the middle of a clique. It's a lecture, not a dinner party.
Oh, and don't forget to smell nice. 1 blast of scent on wrists and both sides of neck.
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Had bouts of anxiety here and there at work and in college when I was younger.
What I learned is the attacks would usually happen when I put too much focus on what others thought of me, was too centered on myself.
Started taking that energy and redirecting it. Would go for a rigorous jog in the morning before the day started to release stress and pent up energy. Follow that with 15-20 min of stretching, relaxation, meditative breathing techniques.
Then before facing the hordes of people, I would find a quiet place, close my eyes, breathe slowly, deeply, get centered and clear my head and focus in on the task...(listening to a lecture, reading, work)
Keep a bottle of water handy, avoid eating sugar, especially for breakfast, start eating a clean diet.
Cut out the coffee, energy drinks, soda and all the other crap like that.
Having issues with anxiety can be affected and exasperated by the food you eat.
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I would suggest some form of counselling. Not saying you should start seeing a psychoanalyst right away and get through your days with a bunch of pills for your anxiety, but it never hurts to have a couple of talk sessions with somebody who is trained to help you. Like Will said, find out if your university offers counselling like this for students.
There are also techniques for relaxing and reducing your anxiety. ETOTE listed some of them.
One thing you could also try is to ask your professors and teachers if you could get through your courses without attending lectures. Different universities probably have differing policies about this but at least my university is quite flexible. A lot of courses can be passed with book exams, absence from lectures can be compensated by essays, etc.
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Thnks for your replies guys. It really helped me alot.
I did manage to survive the first day.
Walking through crowds during breaks was scary, but I made it
In lecture rooms, I did felt sad that people were hanging out in groups.
But I remembered cuddly's words 'This is not a dinner party' and managed to divert my attention to the lecture.
Hopefully I can survive the whole of this semester.
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^who knows, you may find yourself as one of those people hanging out in a group sooner rather than later...you may make some really cool friends who will love and accept you for who you are and you can feel comfortable blossoming into your own with much needed support from your peers.
stranger things have happened.
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